drabble challenge~

[askerian]

Blame complexphoenix. U.U I am pure, innocent and virtuous, and would never whine at you people to entertain me with ficlets when I'm bored, ever.

Except when I'm given fresh crack bunnies that I do not want, but would love to read.

complexphoenix: my cats look like they're going to have a fight soon.
askerian: ouch. they fight often?
complexphoenix: about twice a month
askerian: or is it just the new territory?
askerian: "and I shall claim dominion over... this windowsill."
complexphoenix: lol
askerian: "back off, biatch, that's my kitchen counter."
"back off my faucet, you toilet bowl drinker!"
complexphoenix: it's actually kind of interesting to watch them fight. they wrestle, wrapping their front legs to get a hold and then they try to get each other with their back legs
askerian: ... oh god. "the adventures of Haruno Sakura and her two kitties, Sasuke and Naruto."
complexphoenix: ...brilliant.
askerian: *snickers*
askerian: ... okay, fine, i'm going to request drabbles. ON NARUTO AND SASUKE AS KITTIES.
askerian: and it will be AWESOME.
complexphoenix: and they will groom each other's ears and Naruto will chase his tail.
complexphoenix: :-)
askerian: eeee
complexphoenix: Sasuke will be one of those dignified, serious cats that sits like a king in the sun patch, while Naruto will be always running around batting things around.
askerian: oh yeah XD
askerian: "oh, I thought sasuke was a girl at first. so lithe and graceful." :D
askerian: "What, you have two tomcats? did you have them snipped?"
complexphoenix: XP
askerian: *is bricked*

CHALLENGE. FROM PHOENINX AND ME.

*drumrolls*

NARUTO AND SASUKE AS KITTIES.

Kakashi as their owner? the dog next door? Sakura as a queen? what is Kiba? Itachi? Chouji? GENMA. GO WILD, PEOPLE.



*crickets*

Comments

[toki-usagi.livejournal.com]

To which I say: Rum Tum Tugger and Mungojerrie. That's all.

*has a gigglefit imagining the cast of Naruto putting on CATS*

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

YOUR BUNNY ATE MY BRAIN!

Kitties


“Naruto!” Come say hi to your new friend.” Sakura called as she walked into her house, holding a small, tiny and dark adorable kitten.

A moment later, Naruto ran to into the room, purring loudly. Sakura set the new kitten down next to him.

“This is Sasuke. I found him in an ally alone when walking home.”

Naruto pressed his cheek against Sasuke’s and rubbed. Sasuke’s eyes widened for a moment before he pushed Naruto away with a hiss and walked out of the room, his chin held high and tail in the air.

Naruto stalked him and moments later Sasuke hissed loudly. Sakura sighed and followed the kittens – sure this was going to be much more trouble than it was worth.

Only to find Naruto had tackled Sasuke and was now licking his face and Sasuke seemed to be trying – and failing – to hold back soft purrs.

It was simply the most adorable sight Sakura had ever seen.

[askerian]

UWAH~ cuteness. :3

[soc_puppet]

Dammit, I was over my secret writing-characters-as-cats addiction! Over it, I tell you! And then this comes along and... and....



Naruto stared at his human. Staaaared. Stared and stared and kept staring, until finally--

"Alright, fine, I'll get your damn kitty treats!" Grumbling, Sakura got up and went to the cupboards. "Honestly," she muttered, "ever since they came out with this new 'miso' flavor, it's been nothing but treats, treats, treats with you... And what kind of cat likes miso, anyway?"

Naruto purred happily. "See," he yowled at Sasuke. "Toldja I'd get us more food."

Sasuke snorted and went back to washing. "Idiot."



...I also had this semi-long thing about the origins of the Uchiha breed, and how Sasuke's littermate went and 'mistook them for vermin', but I didn't think it seemed catlike enough. Plus, I know very little about actual cat genetics. Maybe with time and paper.

Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[crazy-toffee.livejournal.com]

Two kittens, fighting over a bowl of milk.

That was how it started. A month later, they still fought over the bowl of milk.

"You know that's... I mean... Sakura, this has got to qualify as a pathology somewhere."

"Ino-bitch, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sakura..."

"I found them in the alley, all alone and we and... I think Ishida-san killed their mom. Besides, they're cute."

Months later, the two cats continued to fight over the ownership of the bowl, particularly when she was around. But Sakura was not a ninja only in name, she knew that when they didn't think she was there, they were actually decent to each other.

Of course, the marmalade cat was fatter and furrier, so when he lay down to soak up the sunlight there was no room for his black-furred companion. If they were companions at all, really. More like rivals, but she didn't like thinking about that.

Even after she put TWO bloody bowls, they would still fight over one... and then proceed to fight over the other. The only thing they seemed to agree upon was that they should fight when she was around. The black one sometimes purred when no one was looking and it found itself being butted with an pink nose and very orange whiskers.

Sakura sighed and poured some more kitty-kibble onto the plate - because, really, why bother with more than one plate in the end? - and reached out to stroke the big orange cat. It purred under her fingers, rubbing its little nose into her hand. It was the most ridiculous attention whore she'd ever seen; and sure, she liked it, but it wasn't the same.

There was just something about how the black cat avoided her that made her like it more, which was unfair to the furry beast that was currently winding itself around her leg but... oh well.

"Aren't you ever going to give them names?" Kakashi asked her once, oddly quiet and careful about this particular question.

Both cats were sleeping together under the window, soaking up a patch of sunlight together, probably because they hadn't heard her arrive. Kakashi looked at them and looked at her.

"No."

She wasn't even surprised when the black cat disappeared.

She looked for it less than she thought she would, and still put extra kibble on the plate. The orange cat - strangely, incomprehensibly - only ate half of the plate, even a year after the black one was gone.

Sakura took to sitting with the fat thing on her lap while she studied medical jutsus, but only because the purring made her feel better. Only because of that. She would simply stroke the cat's warm fur and not think of Naruto.

And she never ever thought of the runaway idiot, wherever it had gone.

[askerian]

*giggles* Miso flavor! XD

aha, yeah, Sasuke is the kind of cat who could spend one hour licking his paw in a "pshah" manner. XD



ooohhhhh. *.* <3<3

Re: Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[askerian]

*heart breaks* T_T

YOU CHEATED THIS DOESN'T COUNT NOOOOO.

;_; half-eaten kitty kibble. woe.

[rainbowlasers.livejournal.com]

It was completely unfair. He'd been there before him. It was *his* plate, *his* territory, *his* toilet bowl to drink from -- no, scratch that. The other could keep it.

He'd always been the favorite. Which wasn't difficult, seeing as he was the only cat in the house before. The girl had always taken care of him with extreme caution. Petting him, giving him whenever he looked at her. Ha, he didn't even need to mew!

And then that other one came along. Orange, loud, purring, excited. It was disgusting. Always jumping on him whenever they crossed paths. Mewling for attention. That orange bastard even stole his milk! The girl tried to stop the attacks, of course, but always ended up petting him. She barely touched that attention whore and he'd end up purring! He hated that street cat so much.

Even if when the thing was calm it always ended up purring over him and licking him. And he didn't let him do it. Not at all.

I didn't take this from my own cats. Nope, not at all. *snerk*

*laughs maniacally*

[crazy-toffee.livejournal.com]

It DOES COUNT INDEED! I wrote it with genuine love and for YOUR entertainment! XD I say it counts! *petsloves*

*munches kibble* Eeewww... tuna.

Re: Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

I shall give you more cuteness to make up for that evil angst!


Naruto was playing with the yarn the pink slave had given the two of them to play with and Sasuke was glaring at him.

Naruto was oblivious. And purring like the idiot he was quickly tangled in the string. The worst part that he didn’t even care and he just gnawed at it. Naruto was such a dog.

Sasuke was not annoyed. Nor was he jealous of the stupid string. Not at all. Naruto was just a disgrace to all cat-kind. He hissed at Naruto before walking to the bedroom.

The pink slave always paid attention to him. Serve Naruto right for being so stupid – only he’d get his ears pet!

Re: Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

(edited version as I forgot an 'and')

Naruto was playing with the yarn the pink slave had given the two of them to play with and Sasuke was glaring at him.

Naruto was oblivious. And purring like the idiot he was and quickly tangled in the string. The worst part that he didn’t even care and he just gnawed at it. Naruto was such a dog.

Sasuke was not annoyed. Nor was he jealous of the stupid string. Not at all. Naruto was just a disgrace to all cat-kind. He hissed at Naruto before walking to the bedroom.

The pink slave always paid attention to him. Serve Naruto right for being so stupid – only he’d get his ears pet!

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

HAH.

[askerian]

One day Sasuke came back. Or so she heard. It wasn't as if she could have visited him, even if her clearance had been high enough. He was with the Interrogation division, and Morino Ibiki didn't allow visitors.

Then he stayed under close ANBU supervision, and they didn't approve of visitors. Then somewhere in a remote location, watched over by a few Jounin. Who didn't really like visitors, either.

At first she had been vaguely nervous, wondering what she was supposed to feel. But after a while... Sasuke being in Konoha didn't mean much, in the end, because she still couldn't see him -- and even if she could, she wasn't sure she would ever bear him inside her heart again. She had sworn to keep him there always, but the memory of him had dulled with time -- and even dulled, she didn't know if she didn't prefer her bittersweet, distorted memories to his clear, sharp, bitter-without-sweet reality.

Never had he made any effort to contact her.

She would ponder and wonder, and think too much and not feel enough. And she would only stop when her orange cat got into the kitchen cupboards again.

And so eventually she convinced herself that maybe she should let the past rest. That she had stopped caring -- or would, soon. And it was fine this way.

Until one evening, there was a knock at the door, and he was standing there, not really looking at her, older and wearier and harsher, and his shirt was moving.

Kakashi told me, he said, that you had a cat.

She stared, and then stepped back to allow him inside and close the door before her own fat orange thing slipped out. And then she stared some more.

The shops are closed, he added, still not looking at her, holding himself aloof, holding something in his shirt.

She started to laugh, then, and told him to let the cat go, that its share was already in the bowl.

She only laughed harder at his face, as the skinny black cat slipped free and made a beeline for the kitchen. And she laughed and laughed as the orange cat started yowling; she know she'd find them fighting over the untouched half of the bowl.

Then she started to cry, but she didn't care; they were good tears.

She could still feel. She still felt.

Now, they only needed to get Naruto a kitten, too.

[askerian]

*giggles* aww!!!

[rainbowlasers.livejournal.com]

The fact I based Sasuke on my female cat means nothing. *whistles innocently*

Re: Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[askerian]

The pink slave!!! XDDD

[askerian]

.... *SNERK*

Re: Look, I can angst this up too! XD

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

Anyone who has a cat knows - the cat is so in charge.

Re: HAH.

[crazy-toffee.livejournal.com]

Naruto looked at the splotchy kitten Sakura had just dumped on him with a decided frown.

"What do you MEAN that orange one was female?"

Sasuke smirked. "You said you wanted kittens."

"I have the discting feeling I should feel offended, but I can't really figure out why."

The black cat was looking too smug.

Re: HAH.

[askerian]

*squeals* !!!!! X3

[darksideofstorm.livejournal.com]

First, The Crouch. Front paws neatly together, white belly low to the ground, orange puffy tail stretched out and twitching slightly, ears flattened to the skull. It was a good Crouch.

Next, The Lift. Tail vertical, back legs straight and locked, claws extended, fur puffed out. It was text book.

Finally, The Pounce. And there it all went wrong...

===

Sakura looked up from her medical scrolls in alarm as an anguished yowl reverberated through her tiny kitchenette. An orange streak – how such a fat animal ran so fast she had no idea – blurred across the sitting room, clawed its way up the curtain and disappeared through the open window.

Sakura blinked. Then a sardonic mewl drew her attention back to the kitchen door. She gaped for a moment at the satisfied expression on the black cat’s delicate face, and then exploded into giggles. The animal stared at her in thinly-veiled astonishment and then returned to the all important business of cleaning the remaining tufts of orange fur from around his mouth. That’d teach that little bastard to try and steal his sunbeam…

[animeprincess.livejournal.com]

9_9 REALLY short drabble for you. just a short bit of time. serious. tiny. but it's there.

http://animeprincess.livejournal.com/213547.html

[askerian]

*gigglesnort* well-done. XD

[darksideofstorm.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^__^

[sarolynne.livejournal.com]

Sakura tried everything to get the kittens to stop fighting. It hadn’t been so bad when they were both tiny. Sure, Naruto had a habit of wanting to play with Sasuke when the black kitten was napping, and of flopping on top of him when he was the one that wanted to nap, and of chewing on his ears and tail whenever for no apparent reason at all, but they didn’t actually fight until they were into the gangling adolescent stage.

Oh, yes, then it seemed that they were yowling at all hours, over the slightest provocation. If Sasuke was getting scratched, then Naruto wanted attention too. If Naruto came too near Sasuke while batting around the his jingle ball, then Sasuke swatted at him. If Sasuke was drinking, Naruto pounced on him. If Naruto was laying in Sasuke’s spot on the window, then he hissed and spat, and Sakura had to deal with another angry visit from her neighbors telling her to keep the noise down.

She tried everything. She even tried Ino-pig’s suggestion of covering them both in tuna oil. She swore that it would work. They would clean each other up, she said, and be friends afterward.

Sasuke had looked at the damp, bedraggled Naruto with a look that said clearly, “As though I’d give myself a hair ball licking your fluffy ass,” and stalked off to clean himself.

And Naruto had rubbed against the furniture, so the whole apartment smelled like fish for a week.

They were probably fighting about that the next day. At least it might have been an excuse for Naruto to bowl Sasuke over for eyeing the couch.

Nothing worked.

Nothing, until Sasuke--in an almost unheard of moment of clumsiness--spilled a bowl of shrimp ramen on the kitchen floor, and over half his flank.

By the time Sakura finished cleaning up the mess, Naruto was licking the broth off of the black cat’s side, purring his loud, rolling motor purr. Sasuke’s almost inaudible thrum was almost lost under it.

Weird cats.