WHYYYY TT____TT

[askerian]

WHY CAN'T I WRITE THREESOME SMUT?! WHYYYYYYYYY!!???!!

... I can't believe it's happening to me. it's the first time it does that to me -- *feels diminished as a man writer* ...maybe there are ... pills... or something... T_T

Comments

[melhime.livejournal.com]

Uh, other people's smutfics reference materials to strike up the inspiration? O_o

[askerian]

XD reading means i'm not writing. usually my mind is enough, too. *sigh* ;_;

[melhime.livejournal.com]

*pokes to stimulate mind as she searched through memories for smut*

Damn all I got are two Saiyuki naughty bits. icedark_elf 's idea for a challenge sounds like it could help, though.

[askerian]

it's all right. i'll finish with this blanket fic one, then if the rest still isn't coming i'll challenge people. This might be fun... *__*

[icedark-elf.livejournal.com]

*pats shoulder* It happens to everyone at some point and time. The best remedy is to convince other people to write you threesome smut and that should help. *has actually done this before*

Though you should take every opportunity to get other people to write you fic. *nods*

[askerian]

... hey, i might actually post and ask if people are willing to let me challenge them. *ponderponder*

[icedark-elf.livejournal.com]

You should. I'd offer, but my smut sucks ass. (and don't listen to what anyone else says about it)

*looks around at some of the other replies* You really might want to try that challenge thing, though. Nothing like having specially written smut just for you that makes you feel like writing more.

*eyes her Roy/Ed/Al work in progress* And I can understand. Pron is not working for me right now.

Good luck at finding your smutty side.

[qem_chibati]

Awww. Maybe you need your smut batteries recharged and find some good smutty fanfiction to relax for a bit, before tackling it?

Or some sexy fanart to look at?

[askerian]

i've been reading pwps all day T_T and i usually draw my own smut as well. WHYYYY

[qem_chibati]

Awww. Sad. =/

*head scratches* Its a conspiracy by.... Jiraya!~ He stole your smut bunnies for the next book in the Ichi Ichi Paradise series.

[windshades.livejournal.com]

*petpetlove* poor asuka...i'm sorry the smut bunnies have deserted you. *creates a path of carrots leading the bunnies back to you*

[askerian]

... carrots.

*has hentai thought*

... T_______________T thanks, love.

[windshades.livejournal.com]

XD you're welcome.

[rayemars.livejournal.com]

Man, threesome sex is really hard. You're not less for it! If anything you're great for being able to do it as much as you can!

[/cheerleading]

[askerian]

it's not even the logistics of the smutty bits that's the problem!! it's how to get them there! i can't PWP even that much T_T

[cindelius.livejournal.com]

Hm ... perhaps try a basic writing exercise. One suggestion is to have three featureless people and see if you can write a PWP with them and NO defining features or backgrounds [so basically just the bodies and actions] for at least 150 words. This should test to see if it's threesome smut in general that you're having problems with or Threesome smut. Next, go back through your writing and tweak descriptions so that they include the physical characteristics and defining traits of the characters you had in mind. Now, figure out the events that led up to the sex and either reflect upon them in the next passage or include them in the beginning, incorporating any dialogue or character history that is necessary in order to give the smut some believability and dimension in the selected universe.

The finished product of this exercise most likely won't be something you're willing to post, exactly, but more of something to get past the initial block and onto the better stuff. :o) If you want a challenge on another level, pick a general cliched summary from the bad!fics at ffn or affn and try to turn it around into an interesting, well-written fic. No matter what you end up doing, have a little fun with it. Good luck!

[askerian]

oh, it's not the logistics i'm having problems with. besides featureless people just don't stay like that for long. i have no trouble thinking up the physical hand-goes-here, cock-goes-there stuff. i just haveahard time finding motivation, or something.

i've lost my mental boner, ohnoez. ;_;

[cindelius.livejournal.com]

i've lost my mental boner, ohnoez. ;_;
*weeps for you*

Surely there's a Writer's Viagra out there! Have you tried browsing through your favorite fanart or writing for another fan's genfic universe? There are many epic T7 fics in which the characters are primed for hothot!sex, but are too stupid/busy-escaping-deadly-situations/mistakingly-confident-in-their-heterosexuality to take advantage of the potential.

Or, you know, you could resign yourself to writing non-smut for the day/night and accept the "please try again" sticker, attempting again tomorrow. A forced mental boner sounds extremely painful. :op

[complexphoenix.livejournal.com]

Here's a good all-purpose, plausible motivation: they're horny. Hey, it's supposed to be PWP, right? Motivation, how they got there... that's plot stuff! Who cares if it mkes sense or not? Hot sex is the only thing that matters in PWP :)

[edenfalling]

*pets* I would write you smut, except I have to sweat blood and tears to get anything besides a fade-to-black, so it wouldn't arrive in time to do any good.

...I like your threesome non-smut too, y'know. Just sayin'. :-)

[askerian]

*snerk* heh, thanks hon ^_^ it's alright. (the blanket fic ? it's developing background. i'm cursed, i tell you)

[stripedpetunia.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh that sucks. If it makes you feel better, I have yet to ever write a threesome. I arguably don't even write enough twosomes that do more than just fade to black. *shifty gaze*

... When in doubt, try foodsex! Or some other insane fetish. :D The theory that I just made up behind this is that since normal sex can get boring and repetitive even when it's hot, you need to just throw something new into the mix. Like kinks! YEY X3

[askerian]

hah!! might have to try that theory, yes. XD XD XD

[complexphoenix.livejournal.com]

Mental image: Naruto slurping ramen off of Sasuke's body. XD

[majochan.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to have requested something that's causing so much distress...o_0;

Actually, I was just thinking of dumping Sasuke in a lake and making the other two warm him up.^^;;;; But anyway...don't sweat it if you're stuck, there are two other requests you can do first if you want...

Majo

[askerian]

hah XD actually yours is already three pages long. damn my inability to keep sasuke from angsting.


"D'you want me to warm you up, baby?"

Sakura giggles, even as she hits Naruto's arm. Sasuke almost groans at the lameness; he doesn't bother turning around.

"Shut up and sleep, both of you."

"You come and sleep too, Sasuke. You're gonna be a frozen Uchihacicle tomorrow."

"No." he doesn't turn around, once again. He sits at the arrow slit, watching out, hands cupped in front of his lips to hide the white clouds of his breath.

"Oh yeah, the snow's gonna rise up and swallow us -- wait, it's done that already."

"Shut up and sleep."

"You come and sleep too," Naruto repeats; it's his stubborn voice. "You come and sleep with us."

Sasuke doesn't want to. He doesn't want to see them, snuggled together under the old, ratty blanket. He doesn't want to see Sakura -- his Sakura, the one supposed to love him -- watching Naruto with such badly hidden smiles. He doesn't want to see Naruto grinning -- not even because he was better than him, just because he has her and Sasuke doesn't and this means there's one area they don't need to compete anymore, one area where Sasuke isn't the goal he has to reach anymore. Sasuke's jealous, and he knows it. So what.

"I'm keeping watch so you can sleep, so just sleep already!" he snaps in an angry whisper. There isn't anyone around for miles, and the snow is going to be too unstable to attempt walking on it for hours, he knows that. Still -- he wants to sleep back to back with them as much as he wants a hole in the head. They're so ... cute. Stealing glances and touches when they figures he doesn't see, whispering to each other. He can't stand the thought of being this close as they cuddle, as they touch each other.

He wonders if they've had sex already.

"Oh well," Naruto replies. "Whatever."

It stings. It stings so goddamn much and he's so busy curling up on himself inwardly, he doesn't feel the blond closing in, until there's a hand in the back of his shirt. And then he flies back and lands on the mattress. He would jump back up, outraged, but then Sakura's looking at him pleadingly, a hand on his chest.

Her hand is shaking, just a bit. "Sasuke, please."

[majochan.livejournal.com]

Three pages.....? *drool*

And Sasuke angsting is a staple of any fic involving him.^^

Majo

[animeprincess.livejournal.com]

*attempts to aid*

:O just a small suggestion. pick a smutty position. then figure out how they got there. not like i write smut, i just read it all the time, whutev and just as an example:

He has to admit, Naruto blowing him does feel pretty nice. He knows exactly what feels nice, where to use teeth and where to use tongue, how deep he can swallow, and all that. Sakura's lips on his ear just make him relax even more, as much as tense up. He's purring as Naruto buries his nose into his dark hairs.

how'd they get there? whee! who cares. smut for you. *loves*

[askerian]

ohh, that might work for the teamsevenkyuubiinnersaku one. ♥

[animeprincess.livejournal.com]

^^ eee, yay. go 'head and swipe it. *glee*

x_X cause now it's like 4 am and i need sleep. yus. homework tomorrow. *nods* cause i was bad today and was on the computer all day. meh.

[sparklemagpie.livejournal.com]

I bet you I totally like stole your smut muse or something. I can't get smut OFF my brain. It's totally bad. @_o

*tries to rub off my dirty thoughts on you*

[complexphoenix.livejournal.com]

Write them down. That might make them rub off.

[rianax.livejournal.com]

Have one of them watch- I can see Sakura getting aroused by her boys and masturbating to the view.

[askerian]

*nosebleeds* oh yeah, I so totally need to do that one day. thank you hon. ♥