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Monthly Word Count - December
41 480 words.
that's almost a nanowrimo and i wasn't even trying gaiz. wow. wooowowowowowow.
POSTED
-Demon Summoner AU, davekat, 1/? (3 286 words)
-Battlefield Terra, johnkat, 6/? (7 581 words)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 5/? (NO words, was all written the prev. month!)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 6/? (2 996 words)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 7/? (4 482 words)
-Sunlightverse - Sollux fic (3 351 words)
-Sunlightverse - (Condesce&GH) Wherein Two Palemates Discuss A Potential Kismesis (2 373 words)
-Sunlightverse Kiss Meme - Various (Dad&John&Jane, DirkEq, CondiePsii, EriNep, SummTav, CondieKat (3 667 words)
-Sunlightverse Kiss Meme - Dave/Karkat porn (4 419 words)
-Sunlightverse - Definitely the Hunted (eridan/nepeta, karkat) (648 words)
WORKS IN PROGRESS
-Karkat Ganbang WIP (173 words)
-Demon Summoner AU, davekat, 2/? (2 902 words)
-Crash Standing chapter 9 (5 202 words)
MONTH BY MONTH BREAKDOWN:
-jan: 22 912
-feb: 19 195
-mar: 22 611
-apr: 27 262
-may: 21 249
-jun: 18 756
-jul: 35 852
-aug: 27 883
-sep: 37 061
-oct: 22 560
-nov: 35 575
-dec: 41 480 !!!!
I was SO HAPPY for the first months of this year whenever I reached 18k. Wow, um. Wow. Now when I'm under 25k i'm like "okay wtf were you doing dude." Haha, self, what. XD
YEARLY TOTAL:
2010: didn't total it up but considering i thought 12k was pretty alright... >___>; okay no let's do it now : 14 422 + 5 667 + 6 592 + 12 431 + 1 701 + 6 371 + 15 688 + 10 233 + 14 044 + 23 561 + 12 894 + 12 631 = 136 235 (D:) => 11 353/month. ... :X :X :X
2011: 167 675, average: 13 973/month. :X
2012: 332 396 !!!!! *¤@°¤%$♥ Average: 27 700 /month. eeeeeeee.
OKAY THIS YEAR RULED.
apart from the lack of teamwork and ff7 stuff, which i am v. disappoint about. Okay, homestuck, you warn me when the honeymoon phase is over and i can start seeing other fandoms on the side, yeah?
--
Karkat Ganbang WIP
--
"Aw come on, it's not that funny," John said, and undermined himself by giggling. Just... Dirk's face. "We thought we'd killed him, tackling him like that, like he was bleeding out from the inside or something, it was pretty not funny. All like holy crap there's blood everywhere, he's totally shitting out his pureed organs isn't he."
Jake snickered in his hand. Dave's shoulders shivered with muffled snickers, though his face looked patiently, vaguely amused. "But instead it was only bukkake time. That bull needs milking at fixed hours, okay. All is well that ends in jizz."
John chuckled, and generously pretended he didn't remember that first, panicked gasp of bro! as Dave beheld Dirk kneeling there and dripping red.
--
Demon Summoner AU
--
Inside the precinct there's a lot of sudden silence and staring when Dave comes down the stairs with Karkat in tow. The demon likes moving better on all fours, back legs folding and twitch-unfolding like a cicada's, and its claws clink loud on floor tiles.
"It's bound, seriously, guys, relax," he throws out there, and makes his way between partitioned desks, hands in his pockets. Karkat lets out a vibrating, crickety crackle-growl that manages both to be quiet and to carry to the ends of the room in a particularly hair-raising way.
"Maybe you could tell it not to freak out the officers," Jane whispers in his ear.
She's kidding, right? It's hilarious. "Nah, they need to steel their nerves." Out there there's loose Class Ones and Twos, bunches of criminals and lowlifes using the distraction of a demon apocalypse in progress to do their criminal thing, and criminals just plain going hey why not and using demons as anti-personnel weapons. There's a Don who reportedly has a Class Three at his beck and call, and it only charges a weekly street kid dinner to stay on retainer. "They'll thank us tomorrow."
Jane sighs. "I guess. At least Karkat is a vertebrate and doesn't make you feel like your eyes are about to pop like balloons trying to figure out its geometry."
Dave nods his commiseration. "Fucking six-dimensional demons, huh."
"Fucking human black hole brains," Karkat growls from down there. Dave snorts and holds the door to Captain Egbert's office open for it. It makes sure to walk close enough to rake its shoulder and wing spines nice and deep along the wood. Little brat.
Dave's sill not sure how he feels about his pet demon. He's a bit too drained to think that hard. Still, he's a bit tense introducing it to his boss.
Captain Egbert looks it over, looking calmly curious and not one whisper of nervousness about him. Things turn into a staring contest in a hot second.
"Cupcake?" Egbert asks casually, and holds out a pastry fished from his desk. Karkat snatches it before Dave can remind him to be careful, but no new graze blooms bright red on his Captain's dark fingers.
Okay, then. Bribery by food is a go. He shrugs to himself and closes the door behind him before moving to the desk to make his report.
"Went pretty much as planned, sir. It's forbidden to kill humans unless my life's forfeit if it doesn't, and to injure anyone at all unless permitted to. Have to admit in between listing all the nopes on arson and shit I forgot to include petty damages on the furniture." To be honest Rose probably included it in her long-ass lawyery list but he was getting tired of all those sub-clauses by the end.
"Hmm. Combat abilities?"
"Dunno. We'll have to test that tomorrow, sir. I'm kind of wiped." Jane healed his wrists, but he still has the blood loss to contend with, and the spectacular bruises on his thigh and his tailbone from being tackled and kneeled on. Plus the drain of power, but that's always hard to quantify. He wishes he came with a little HP gauge.
Egbert pats his shoulder in commiseration. "Not too wiped for paperwork, I hope."
"On second thought, can Karkat just eat me -- I was kidding holy fuck."
The demon is on the desk. Why is the demon on the desk, swear to fuck it borderline teleported. Why is it in his face and staring, all four eyes boring holes in his head, nostrils flared, claws digging in ... the Captain's paperwork aw damn it.
Dave gathers all the stern he can. "Okay, get off the desk, desks are not for standing on. Sorry for the stomach tease but --"
"You are not allowed to fucking die, you useless piece of trash," it snarls low as it leans right into his face, until black bangs brush his shades. "You are going to live and fucking live until you beg me to let you die, and I will laugh in your face and keep on dragging you out."
Uh.
"That's nice to hear!" Egbert says casually, and shoos the spiny demon off his desk with a folder, like it's an obese and slightly grumpy Persian. Karkat lands back on the floor with a thud and hisses, disgruntled. He glowers at the man over the edge of the desk with enough malevolence that Dave starts to wonder if he'll have to order him not to, and then the demon huffs and glances back at the gift of cupcake it abandoned on the floor. Apparently Egbert is allowed to live, because Karkat goes right back to picking it up between two clawtips and licking cautiously at the frosting. He glares at Dave when he catches him looking and turns his back on him.
Egbert smiles and nods toward the reflective glass of his trophy case. Karkat has managed to smear frosting on its cheek and is licking fussily at its sugar-stained hand as the cupcake balances precariously on its other palm. Goddamn, how can a demon be cute.
"Maybe 'cause you're made from me," he muses. Yep, totally that.
"Don't remind me, I want to tear off those disgusting chunks of flesh off my chitinous frame enough already."
Yeah, okay, no, he almost feels like he should apologizes to the protagonists of every single book Rose's ever read because having a demon is so far mostly hilarious.
--
Crash Standing chapter 9
--
"Fuck's sake. Just go away, okay, I'll do it faster on my own."
For a second you're tempted to pick up the laptop you just dropped on the floor and throw it at Dave's head. Fuck him. It's not your fucking fault you were ... trying to move heavy, fragile technology one-handed. Okay, yes it is. But fuck him anyway. He's been a grumpy little shit ever since Bro woke you all up and you started gathering the crap not already boxed.
With the way he's not looking at Terezi, who's dismantling the sleeping pile into garbage chute-sized chunks in the corner, you can guess who he'd really like to be arguing with. You watch him pick up the laptop and check the case for damages, put it away in a box barely more gently than when you dropped it. Fuck him, it's your laptop, Bro got it for you.
"What?" he asks you, scowling. You turn away and walk out before any fists can be exchanged.
The living room is bare and weirdly wide open. Bro and Dadbert moved the couch downstairs for the garbage collection truck to pick up (or a neighbor, neighbor's more likely) and all the tables got dismantled into planks and cinderblocks. The TV and turntables huddle by the door, ready to be carried down whenever LaMomlonde gets back with the truck she's gone to rent. Bro's emptying the fridge. You think about going to help.
You think about dropping a bowl of old noodles on the floor, congealed mess sprinkled with broken crockery.
You climb the ladder under the crawlspace instead. "Going to check no one's forgotten anything in here," you grunt, and you shoulder the trapdoor out of the way and haul yourself the rest of the way up.
Bang. Darkness.
You allot yourself thirty seconds to seethe in the dark, and then you start feeling ridiculous and you crawl your way to the light switch.
There's only the one bare light bulb up here, throwing deep shadows everywhere its weak, yellowed halo doesn't touch. The roof is low enough you'd knock your head on it if you went up on your knees and kept your back straight.
There's a pile of smuppets in the corner that Terezi probably used as bedding and which you are grateful to pretend to miss entirely and oh no so sad we forgot them back home once you're halfway across the Pacific. Jade's sleeping bag is folded by her backpack; you pick it up thoughtlessly and then wonder how the fuck you're supposed to roll it up and tie it to the backpack like this.
No, fuck it, you can manage. Maybe if you kneel on it to keep it pinned and shuffle along as you roll...
Bluh. It's going to be an ugly bundle. But by God it's going to be bundled up.
Light spills in from behind you, the trapdoor creaks; you turn, already scowling. Damn it.
Nubbly horns, a nest of black hair. Gray hand. Karkat's eyes find yours and he arches a doubtful, unimpressed eyebrow at your expression.
"Thanks for keeping me company on this arduous task, Karkat," he snarks, and climbs in. He closes the trapdoor as he looks around curiously. It's a lot of bricks not even painted over, exposed wires running along the walls, and dustbunnies. "Cozy."
"Mnrgh." You go back to your sleeping bag roll. If he offers to help you might just bite.
"You're chatty today. I'm impressed, by which I mean horrified and half-deaf. My hearing flaps are going to fall off, for the love of little grubs stop."
He drones along, sarcasm mode fully on. You try to keep ignoring him. It fails.
"Just... go sift through that pile of horrors for lost cell phones or what the fuck ever Terezi might have dropped in it, and shut up, okay?"
Karkat sighs, not as under his breath as he thinks, and shuffles past you on hands and knees. You glare down at the sleeping bag, which you have finally wrestled into a lumpy sausage shape. Only took you ten minutes, too. Now how the fuck to pin it under the bag's flap...
His foot glances off your knee a bit hard in passing. "Ow, careful." You glare after him.
Oh hey troll ass.
that's almost a nanowrimo and i wasn't even trying gaiz. wow. wooowowowowowow.
POSTED
-Demon Summoner AU, davekat, 1/? (3 286 words)
-Battlefield Terra, johnkat, 6/? (7 581 words)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 5/? (NO words, was all written the prev. month!)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 6/? (2 996 words)
-Crash Standing, byrdkat, 7/? (4 482 words)
-Sunlightverse - Sollux fic (3 351 words)
-Sunlightverse - (Condesce&GH) Wherein Two Palemates Discuss A Potential Kismesis (2 373 words)
-Sunlightverse Kiss Meme - Various (Dad&John&Jane, DirkEq, CondiePsii, EriNep, SummTav, CondieKat (3 667 words)
-Sunlightverse Kiss Meme - Dave/Karkat porn (4 419 words)
-Sunlightverse - Definitely the Hunted (eridan/nepeta, karkat) (648 words)
WORKS IN PROGRESS
-Karkat Ganbang WIP (173 words)
-Demon Summoner AU, davekat, 2/? (2 902 words)
-Crash Standing chapter 9 (5 202 words)
MONTH BY MONTH BREAKDOWN:
-jan: 22 912
-feb: 19 195
-mar: 22 611
-apr: 27 262
-may: 21 249
-jun: 18 756
-jul: 35 852
-aug: 27 883
-sep: 37 061
-oct: 22 560
-nov: 35 575
-dec: 41 480 !!!!
I was SO HAPPY for the first months of this year whenever I reached 18k. Wow, um. Wow. Now when I'm under 25k i'm like "okay wtf were you doing dude." Haha, self, what. XD
YEARLY TOTAL:
2010: didn't total it up but considering i thought 12k was pretty alright... >___>; okay no let's do it now : 14 422 + 5 667 + 6 592 + 12 431 + 1 701 + 6 371 + 15 688 + 10 233 + 14 044 + 23 561 + 12 894 + 12 631 = 136 235 (D:) => 11 353/month. ... :X :X :X
2011: 167 675, average: 13 973/month. :X
2012: 332 396 !!!!! *¤@°¤%$♥ Average: 27 700 /month. eeeeeeee.
OKAY THIS YEAR RULED.
apart from the lack of teamwork and ff7 stuff, which i am v. disappoint about. Okay, homestuck, you warn me when the honeymoon phase is over and i can start seeing other fandoms on the side, yeah?
--
Karkat Ganbang WIP
--
"Aw come on, it's not that funny," John said, and undermined himself by giggling. Just... Dirk's face. "We thought we'd killed him, tackling him like that, like he was bleeding out from the inside or something, it was pretty not funny. All like holy crap there's blood everywhere, he's totally shitting out his pureed organs isn't he."
Jake snickered in his hand. Dave's shoulders shivered with muffled snickers, though his face looked patiently, vaguely amused. "But instead it was only bukkake time. That bull needs milking at fixed hours, okay. All is well that ends in jizz."
John chuckled, and generously pretended he didn't remember that first, panicked gasp of bro! as Dave beheld Dirk kneeling there and dripping red.
--
Demon Summoner AU
--
Inside the precinct there's a lot of sudden silence and staring when Dave comes down the stairs with Karkat in tow. The demon likes moving better on all fours, back legs folding and twitch-unfolding like a cicada's, and its claws clink loud on floor tiles.
"It's bound, seriously, guys, relax," he throws out there, and makes his way between partitioned desks, hands in his pockets. Karkat lets out a vibrating, crickety crackle-growl that manages both to be quiet and to carry to the ends of the room in a particularly hair-raising way.
"Maybe you could tell it not to freak out the officers," Jane whispers in his ear.
She's kidding, right? It's hilarious. "Nah, they need to steel their nerves." Out there there's loose Class Ones and Twos, bunches of criminals and lowlifes using the distraction of a demon apocalypse in progress to do their criminal thing, and criminals just plain going hey why not and using demons as anti-personnel weapons. There's a Don who reportedly has a Class Three at his beck and call, and it only charges a weekly street kid dinner to stay on retainer. "They'll thank us tomorrow."
Jane sighs. "I guess. At least Karkat is a vertebrate and doesn't make you feel like your eyes are about to pop like balloons trying to figure out its geometry."
Dave nods his commiseration. "Fucking six-dimensional demons, huh."
"Fucking human black hole brains," Karkat growls from down there. Dave snorts and holds the door to Captain Egbert's office open for it. It makes sure to walk close enough to rake its shoulder and wing spines nice and deep along the wood. Little brat.
Dave's sill not sure how he feels about his pet demon. He's a bit too drained to think that hard. Still, he's a bit tense introducing it to his boss.
Captain Egbert looks it over, looking calmly curious and not one whisper of nervousness about him. Things turn into a staring contest in a hot second.
"Cupcake?" Egbert asks casually, and holds out a pastry fished from his desk. Karkat snatches it before Dave can remind him to be careful, but no new graze blooms bright red on his Captain's dark fingers.
Okay, then. Bribery by food is a go. He shrugs to himself and closes the door behind him before moving to the desk to make his report.
"Went pretty much as planned, sir. It's forbidden to kill humans unless my life's forfeit if it doesn't, and to injure anyone at all unless permitted to. Have to admit in between listing all the nopes on arson and shit I forgot to include petty damages on the furniture." To be honest Rose probably included it in her long-ass lawyery list but he was getting tired of all those sub-clauses by the end.
"Hmm. Combat abilities?"
"Dunno. We'll have to test that tomorrow, sir. I'm kind of wiped." Jane healed his wrists, but he still has the blood loss to contend with, and the spectacular bruises on his thigh and his tailbone from being tackled and kneeled on. Plus the drain of power, but that's always hard to quantify. He wishes he came with a little HP gauge.
Egbert pats his shoulder in commiseration. "Not too wiped for paperwork, I hope."
"On second thought, can Karkat just eat me -- I was kidding holy fuck."
The demon is on the desk. Why is the demon on the desk, swear to fuck it borderline teleported. Why is it in his face and staring, all four eyes boring holes in his head, nostrils flared, claws digging in ... the Captain's paperwork aw damn it.
Dave gathers all the stern he can. "Okay, get off the desk, desks are not for standing on. Sorry for the stomach tease but --"
"You are not allowed to fucking die, you useless piece of trash," it snarls low as it leans right into his face, until black bangs brush his shades. "You are going to live and fucking live until you beg me to let you die, and I will laugh in your face and keep on dragging you out."
Uh.
"That's nice to hear!" Egbert says casually, and shoos the spiny demon off his desk with a folder, like it's an obese and slightly grumpy Persian. Karkat lands back on the floor with a thud and hisses, disgruntled. He glowers at the man over the edge of the desk with enough malevolence that Dave starts to wonder if he'll have to order him not to, and then the demon huffs and glances back at the gift of cupcake it abandoned on the floor. Apparently Egbert is allowed to live, because Karkat goes right back to picking it up between two clawtips and licking cautiously at the frosting. He glares at Dave when he catches him looking and turns his back on him.
Egbert smiles and nods toward the reflective glass of his trophy case. Karkat has managed to smear frosting on its cheek and is licking fussily at its sugar-stained hand as the cupcake balances precariously on its other palm. Goddamn, how can a demon be cute.
"Maybe 'cause you're made from me," he muses. Yep, totally that.
"Don't remind me, I want to tear off those disgusting chunks of flesh off my chitinous frame enough already."
Yeah, okay, no, he almost feels like he should apologizes to the protagonists of every single book Rose's ever read because having a demon is so far mostly hilarious.
--
Crash Standing chapter 9
--
"Fuck's sake. Just go away, okay, I'll do it faster on my own."
For a second you're tempted to pick up the laptop you just dropped on the floor and throw it at Dave's head. Fuck him. It's not your fucking fault you were ... trying to move heavy, fragile technology one-handed. Okay, yes it is. But fuck him anyway. He's been a grumpy little shit ever since Bro woke you all up and you started gathering the crap not already boxed.
With the way he's not looking at Terezi, who's dismantling the sleeping pile into garbage chute-sized chunks in the corner, you can guess who he'd really like to be arguing with. You watch him pick up the laptop and check the case for damages, put it away in a box barely more gently than when you dropped it. Fuck him, it's your laptop, Bro got it for you.
"What?" he asks you, scowling. You turn away and walk out before any fists can be exchanged.
The living room is bare and weirdly wide open. Bro and Dadbert moved the couch downstairs for the garbage collection truck to pick up (or a neighbor, neighbor's more likely) and all the tables got dismantled into planks and cinderblocks. The TV and turntables huddle by the door, ready to be carried down whenever LaMomlonde gets back with the truck she's gone to rent. Bro's emptying the fridge. You think about going to help.
You think about dropping a bowl of old noodles on the floor, congealed mess sprinkled with broken crockery.
You climb the ladder under the crawlspace instead. "Going to check no one's forgotten anything in here," you grunt, and you shoulder the trapdoor out of the way and haul yourself the rest of the way up.
Bang. Darkness.
You allot yourself thirty seconds to seethe in the dark, and then you start feeling ridiculous and you crawl your way to the light switch.
There's only the one bare light bulb up here, throwing deep shadows everywhere its weak, yellowed halo doesn't touch. The roof is low enough you'd knock your head on it if you went up on your knees and kept your back straight.
There's a pile of smuppets in the corner that Terezi probably used as bedding and which you are grateful to pretend to miss entirely and oh no so sad we forgot them back home once you're halfway across the Pacific. Jade's sleeping bag is folded by her backpack; you pick it up thoughtlessly and then wonder how the fuck you're supposed to roll it up and tie it to the backpack like this.
No, fuck it, you can manage. Maybe if you kneel on it to keep it pinned and shuffle along as you roll...
Bluh. It's going to be an ugly bundle. But by God it's going to be bundled up.
Light spills in from behind you, the trapdoor creaks; you turn, already scowling. Damn it.
Nubbly horns, a nest of black hair. Gray hand. Karkat's eyes find yours and he arches a doubtful, unimpressed eyebrow at your expression.
"Thanks for keeping me company on this arduous task, Karkat," he snarks, and climbs in. He closes the trapdoor as he looks around curiously. It's a lot of bricks not even painted over, exposed wires running along the walls, and dustbunnies. "Cozy."
"Mnrgh." You go back to your sleeping bag roll. If he offers to help you might just bite.
"You're chatty today. I'm impressed, by which I mean horrified and half-deaf. My hearing flaps are going to fall off, for the love of little grubs stop."
He drones along, sarcasm mode fully on. You try to keep ignoring him. It fails.
"Just... go sift through that pile of horrors for lost cell phones or what the fuck ever Terezi might have dropped in it, and shut up, okay?"
Karkat sighs, not as under his breath as he thinks, and shuffles past you on hands and knees. You glare down at the sleeping bag, which you have finally wrestled into a lumpy sausage shape. Only took you ten minutes, too. Now how the fuck to pin it under the bag's flap...
His foot glances off your knee a bit hard in passing. "Ow, careful." You glare after him.
Oh hey troll ass.
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I am somewhat reminded in reverse of Lilith Saintcrow's (yes that is her real name apparently.) Jill Kismet novels. I say reverse because I despise the Jill Kismet novels with a passion because of reasons, and this demon summoner AU is all kinds of shiny awesome. (Basically because both this au and the Jill Kismet books seem to involve using demons or their powers to fight other demons, but that's as far as the comparison goes.) Dave's reactions to Karkat are kind of hilariously "d'awww pissy kitten" while everyone else seems to be edging away from the scary demon.
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posting more demon here today, i am a bad person who forgot to keep this updated. ._.
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twothree of the books in the series.Redemption Alley (Jill Kismet 3) In which Jill is stupid and Saintcrow creates fast zombie bendy mutant vampires.
Flesh Circus (Jill Kismet 4) In which Jill is stupid, Saintcrow attempts and fails miserably to hand a story line involving Voudou without demonizing it and I twitch a lot because stupid. Also, saintcrow rips off Bradbury.
Heaven's Spite (Jill Kismet 5) Jill is stupid and the author has decided she won't be able to get out of this one.
Bonus track! Steelflower Saintcrow tries on a little sword and sorcery! It doesn't work very well.
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Another series it reminds me of is The Demon's Covenant series by Sarah Rees Brennan which is amazing and which I do recommend highly.
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