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Homestuck - oneshot - 30th-Century Night - DaveKat (2/2)
Previous
"Why hey there little fella. There, there, no need to be shy."
Karkat glared down, cheeks heating. Strider had shifted to lay belly down between Karkat's spread legs, propped up on his elbows; he was peering curiously at what he could see of Karkat's erection through the open pants. "If you start chatting up my dick I am so gone, it'll be like I was never here."
Strider looked up at him, red eyes half-veiled by mussed white hair, so serious it was like a bullet to the head.
"Can't have that."
He leaned in, kissed Karkat's cock right through the open zipper. Karkat's toes curled.
Just little kisses, a rain of them, up and down his shaft and on his belly too, nuzzles to his cock and to his treasure trail indiscriminately, at this point he wouldn't even be surprised if Strider rubbed his cheek against his crotch and started to purr like Karkat had bathed in catnip. It was a little hard to breathe.
Oh hey, the ceiling wasn't weird-colored, the ceiling was a skylight. Fascinating discovery. Strider seemed determined to kiss every single square inch of his cock, possibly twice. Wet, openmouthed, rather French kisses. Karkat sneakily bunched up the blankets so it wouldn't show when he clenched his hands. He couldn't look away.
Strider looked up at him and winked.
"--Ow. No kicking. I bruise easy. And what then, what'll we tell the neighbors, I can't keep walking into doors every week, honey--"
"Go down on me already you walking case of crotch rot!"
The asshole chuckled. "Oh hey, that reminds me." And then he sat up, leaving Karkat's cock a little damp and exposed to the cool air of the room. What? What? No, hey --
Oh. Nightstand. Condom. Okay. Yeah. He nodded dazedly as Strider shook it under his nose for approval. Okay sure, so long as there were no holes in there.
Pineapple-flavored. What the fuck ever.
Strider unpackaged it quickly, placed the tip on his cockhead, and unrolled it down the whole length of Karkat's erection with his mouth.
Oh. Hey. Skylight. Nice to see you again. The storm clouds were a little orangey from the city lights. The glass was splattered with raindrops. Pretty. Karkat was flat on his back. How the heck had that happened.
Lips a firm, tight seal around him, Strider pulled off him. Even through the condom his mouth was hot, his tongue, shit, the way he sucked a bit, not too hard yet, teased his crown, oh, went back down right to the root of him. Karkat might not be huge but how the fuck did he do that so easily, oh shit. Felt good.
He closed his eyes, felt blindly for the man's head, slipped his fingers through silk-smooth hair; as Strider's head kept bobbing steadily he petted, caressed, there, there, good, yes, more -- words he couldn't say, but gestures he could make. Strider's hair felt so nice and fine, goddamn bastard must buy the designer shampoos --
Pleasure rose, pressure. After the thin rubber barrier it was a shock when Strider's mouth found his balls, bare skin; his hands tightened in the man's hair. He groaned. Moaned. Whatever, it was embarrassing; he bit his lip, tried to keep quiet and then forgot.
"--kat, hey, Cat."
"Uh -- what?" Okay, his mouth was off Karkat's anatomy, he was not okay with that. He pushed himself up on an elbow, squinted.
The asshole curled his fingers around Karkat's shaft and pressed his cheek against it like it was a precious little kitten and he wanted to cuddle it. "Can I take your pants off and behold your naked glory. Pretty please with your cherry on top. I am holding your boner hostage."
With a cry of frustration and annoyance Karkat let himself fall back, pressed both hands to his face so he didn't have to behold the most irritating asswipe on the planet. "Okay, fine, I fucking give! Tear my clothes off and have your way with me, go ahead! God I hate you."
"You can't tell because I'm laying down but I'm swooning all over the place. So romantic. The romantiquest."
"What did the English language ever do to youuuuuu."
"It was tragic. We do not speak of it. Needless to say I am still traumatized to this day."
Karkat would have kicked him, but at that point he sat up and divested Karkat of his ratty shoes and then yanked Karkat's borrowed pants off, lifting his ass off the futon. Karkat fell back down bare-assed with his pants around his knees, and Strider was quick to pull them all the way off.
After that...
"Is -- is it -- like. A rule or something. That--" he licked dry lips; "--the hornier you get, the more bullshit you spout?"
Strider moved over him, still clothed in his stupidly fancy stuff, hands resting on Karkat's bare hips and gliding up. "Pretty much," he said, and, "Arch your back a bit."
Karkat did. The angora sweater and the tanktop ended up bunched over his chest, nipples barely peeking out under the wool. He could borderline feel Strider's hungry gaze on them. His hands clenched on the blankets, wishing he could curl them in the sweater, shield himself.
"You're gorgeous."
"You're delusional."
The guy's voice took on a teasing lilt. "Also your chubby is going on a diet."
--fuck. He lifted his head to check, and sure enough his dick was going soft. Nothing to be mortified about. No, wait, he wasn't even supposed to care about getting off, when had he started? He let his head thump back on the mattress with a frustrated groan. "Just -- ignore that. It's -- it'll come back." Or not. Karkat was betting on not.
"Crabbycat. Hey. Look at me. Look into those gorgeous as fuck fiery irises of intense hotness."
Karkat did, mostly because he was too busy snorting in disbelief to think better of it. Strider was looking down at him, a vague little smile on his face. (He did have disturbingly gorgeous eyes, the son of a bitch. Karkat vaguely wondered why he hid them. It couldn't be because he didn't like the attention.)
"Nerves?"
Karkat snarled. "Fuck you."
Strider opened his mouth, seemed -- miracle of miracles -- to reconsider, and closed it again. Alas not for long. "There is so much I could do with this one I don't even know where to start, babe."
He rested his hand on Karkat's inner thigh, caressing. Karkat's legs snapped closed of their own volition.
Strider considered his trapped hand, one single eyebrow quirking up pointedly. Face flushing hot, Karkat forced himself to part his knees again.
"You don't need to say it," he made himself say. "El-oh-el it's the other way around, so funny, hah, I could just--"
"Shush."
Blink. Why did he have a hand on his face, patting away. Ow, his nose. The fuck.
He pushed it back only to see Strider's face closing in. He let himself be kissed with only a little confused grunt, kissed back, it had been nice and safe and a good delaying tactic up until now...
And then it failed him because he was naked (having his top hiked up to his armpit and nothing else did not count as dressed in his book, he might as well wear nothing but thigh high socks and a pretty hair ribbon for how dressed he felt) and that meant Strider could, and did, press his body to Karkat's, covering him entirely once again.
He made a little noise in Strider's mouth. (He wasn't calling it a whimper.) His hands came up, snaked under Strider's arms to clench on the back of Strider's button-up shirt. He wasn't sure if he wanted a grip to try to pull him off at some point or if he was just clinging. He was shaking, he could tell he was, he couldn't stop.
"So," Strider whispered as he nuzzled Karkat's cheek. "Anal killed your grandmother and poisoned your dog. You and anal have, like, a fated hatemance going on."
Karkat growled, the sound choked up in his throat, and bit at his chin. The guy took it for an invitation to start nibbling on Karkat's ear.
"I hear you. You hate anal more than you hate me. Sob, cruel kitten. But I shall go on."
He nuzzled his way into Karkat's neck, ticklish. Karkat dug his fingers in the muscles of his back and growled a wordless threat. He wished he had claws. "Stop dragging it on and just do it, okay. I'll -- I'll get over it."
He was still hard, Karkat could feel the stiff length of his cock against his groin, pressed right up to his balls, hips rocking in little twitches. It wouldn't be hard to, to...
"... Nah. Got a better idea. You gotta trust me not to surprise cornhole you, though. Think you can manage?"
Karkat forced his eyes open, met Strider's red -- much too close, nose to nose. He stared for a few seconds.
"Trust is for chumps," he grumbled in the end, but he relaxed a little anyway. Strider flicked him a smile and stole a quick kiss before pushing himself up, kneeling up. His fingers flew over all those buttons like he barely needed to brush them and here they were, swooning under his touch, undone.
Karkat was getting loopy with exhaustion and fright. What the hell, brain.
Pale skin. And some more pale skin. Finely defined muscles. A couple of very unexpected knife scars. Karkat lifted a hand without thinking, and then Strider had seen him and he wasn't about to retreat so he finished reaching out, tracing one with index and middle fingers.
Strider didn't move as long as Karkat's hand was on him, like he didn't want to spook him, but the second Karkat let his hand fall back his pants were pushed down his thighs and he was wriggling out of ... was that Tony the Tiger on his crotch-cover.
"Good thing my boner was already dead. You are so fucking suave, it slays me."
"I know right," Strider deadpanned as he did an awkward dance from knee to knee to free himself from his underwear. "I slay me too sometimes, like I'm all minding my own business, going down the street like a rad as hell sexy bastard and whatnot, and suddenly a mirror. Bam. Another Dead Dave. Good thing I've got infinite respawn, but still it's irresponsible as shit to plant these things willy-nilly."
Oh. He wasn't going to pretend to be named Stud, then. Dave was a pretty banal name. Maybe it was a reference to something Karkat had missed; hard to follow the latest TV and internet fads from the gutter.
Maybe it really was his name.
Maybe he was still flapping his noise hole. Maybe there was only one reliable way to stop that.
Karkat sat up, linked his hands behind the idiot's neck, and yanked him down for a kiss.
He'd yanked hard enough and Strider didn't have any way to catch himself; he fell on top of him, and then started laughing in Karkat's mouth. Karkat might perhaps have cracked a smile. Perhaps.
... But wow, all that naked skin. All that... naked. Against him. That was, yeah, uh. A bit intimidating. He concentrated on kissing. Kissing was nice. He liked that part.
Strider shifted his weight over him, straddled his hips. His boner bounced on Karkat's belly, left a little drop of wetness. Ngh.
"Spread your legs just a bit, babe." He slipped his hand between Karkat's thighs, shockingly warm, wriggled his fingers, tickling, until Karkat jerked his knees apart. Okay, he was still straddling Karkat's lap, he couldn't get at his asshole. He allowed it. Even when Strider pulled out the bottle of lube and pumped his own dick once, twice, long and thorough.
He cupped Karkat's balls with his lube-slick hand, caressed them, the spot behind them. Nudged his fingers down between his inner thighs. Then he guided the tip of his cock there and with a long stroke he pushed himself down the same path.
Pause. Deep breath. For Karkat too.
"Squeeze your -- yeah. Like that. Fuck, you're perfect. Fucking perfect. Mnh."
He was a little less coherent with his dick trapped between Karkat's thighs, rocking on top of him the same exact way as before only there were no more clothes in the way and he was heavy on Karkat, taking over everything, his entire awareness. Where his body wasn't covered by Strider's he was buried in the mattress instead; full-body contact felt like a gigantic understatement. Karkat closed his eyes and tightened his hold around his shoulders and buried his face in the man's neck, hidden by tumbling white locks.
It managed to be possibly more intimate than actually having any of the guy's body parts inside him.
He didn't know how he felt about it.
(Like maybe he could feel safe?)
(No, that was fucking stupid, safety was for chumps. It was always a lie anyway.)
Strider's cock kept gliding between his slicked thighs, only a few inches back and forth but it left his skin tingling nevertheless. He couldn't help being intensely aware of that ridiculously small area, of the way Strider's belly rubbed on Karkat's own cock, still lying limp in its abandoned condom, of the lips on his shoulder, the little murmurs in his ear.
It tingled. Pretty much all over.
"Why do you like smothering me so much," he muttered into Dave's -- Strider's shoulder. "Is that your fetish, you creepy asshole -- ah."
Cheater. Dragging the flare of his cockhead up against the underside of Karkat's balls. And then plunging back to the hilt, not too fast but still enough to make him bounce on the mattress some; shit, it might not involve actual penetration but Karkat still felt fucked.
Not... in a bad way. He supposed. Mnh.
"Yeah. Squashed Karcrab. Cat pancakes. My favorite. Wish I was two hundred pounds heavier. Gog I want -- I want, I wish we could merge, I want to roll around in you, wear you like a backpack, we could go out that way, you'd never need a chair, no sir my lap is at your service--"
Karkat squeezed his thighs a little bit, muscles shifting around his cock. Seemed like a good way to make him go incoherent again, even if not for very long. He grinned a little when it worked, victorious. "If you mention unbirthing or vore I'm figuring out teleporting just so I can abscond. Just saying."
He ran his hands down the guy's back a little, testing. It wasn't bad. He was warm. His muscles tensed under Karkat's hands, he rolled his back like a cat wanting more caresses, groaning.
"You spout such goofy creeper bullshit when you get aroused even a little bit, asshole, I'm surprised you're not still a virgin."
Strider tried to speak again. Karkat clenched his thighs a second time. He was rewarded with a harder thrust, and another. So much leashed strength in that man.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I want to, I need to move harder, is that okay, sorry for the cuddles I love cuddles you're so fucking cuddlable, kittybabe --"
Karkat was finding himself a little breathless as well, and most of it was his reaction to how much of an effect he had on Dave. On Strider. "Yeah, yeah, okay, I can take it, go ahead."
Another few heavy thrusts down on him, bellies pressed tight together, making Karkat's own dick stir, and then Strider abandoned him. Karkat blinked up at him, arms empty, a little cold when the guy was suddenly on hands and knees over him, shuffling over -- grabbing his knees, dragging him to the edge of the futon. Lifting his legs.
Okay no from here he could definitely fuck him.
"Hey -- what the f-- Strider?"
He'd sounded more unsure than he meant to; Strider's manic need faded a little. He flicked him a little smile, and hugged Karkat's thighs to his chest.
And then he thrust between Karkat's thighs, until his cock bumped into Karkat's balls from behind, until he, oh, there it was.
Strider shifted back, braced his knees, spread some to accommodate how low the futon was to the floor, and thrust again. Karkat stared, propped up on his elbows and oddly mesmerized. It looked so -- so silly, but --
"Peekaboo," Strider said, in synch with his surfacing cockhead. Karkat tried to knee him in the head.
His legs were still trapped; he didn't manage. He growled, eyes gone to slits.
"Whoa, stallion, no bucking, you'd take Mister Happy with you, snap him off at the root." Strider dropped a kiss to the side of his knee, rubbed his leg -- soothing, trying to be soothing, Karkat was going to hurt him for real -- and then he started to really fuck.
It was, it was -- silly, and safe, and weirdly nice, not extremely stimulating but warm, and he could feel the whole impact of him traveling through his own body, and -- okay, he hadn't known he had that many nerve endings in his inner thighs. Tingles, again.
And then there were the irregular bumps to his sac, the long glides across his taint. He spent a minute or two chewing on his lip, hesitating.
Thought, oh, fuck it, and curled his fingers around his stirring cock.
"Oh -- oh yeah, pull it, show me how you straddle your paddle --"
"Stop breaking the mood!" Karkat snarled, but his hand kept moving. Strider's eyes were fascinated, fixed on his cock. "I'm not doing it -- not so you can -- ogle and shit, I'm not."
Strider let out another near-silent laugh, this one breathless, oddly arresting. "But it's so oglable. Also if I don't shoot the breeze, I'm gonna shoot my load. Shit be embarrassing."
Was he really that close? His face was flushed, true, but that he could still be so glib made Karkat doubt.
He rocked back to meet his next thrust, experimentally, thighs clenching some. Dave gasped, leaned into him, bending him almost double. Karkat's abs strained to resist the weight; he grunted with the strain, hands gripping the blankets, trying to brace. "Heavy!"
Dave dropped feverish little kisses on his knee, nuzzled. "Shh, shh, you're bendy, just bend, just -- pillow, get me that pillow, fuck yes thanks --"
This time Karkat couldn't even protest; it was getting hard to breathe, Strider had pulled his knees toward his chest and tucked the pillow Karkat thoughtlessly grabbed for him under his hips to prop them up, and now when Dave let go his knees, his upper legs were heavy enough to threaten to fall on his face and possibly break his spine, and he was spread open, oh hell, so completely vulnerable.
"I -- feel like -- like a goddamn porn star -- real people aren't supposed to -- shit, Strider, please don't."
His hands were smoothing up the back of Karkat's thighs, thumbs rubbing behind his knees, keeping him folded in two. Karkat's balls pulled up (down? up his cock) with gravity -- such a weird feeling -- and if he could have told himself that was what Strider was looking at, but no, it was his hole.
"... Fuck, that looks tight."
Oh hell. Oh shit. "Strider --"
He dragged his eyes away, met Karkat's eyes. Karkat could only stare back and not let his face show how scary it was to have the man's thick, hard shaft resting casually against the curve of his ass, radiating warmth and, and intent somehow.
"Shh, I promised no surprise cornholing, babe, just--"
"Not a surprise if you tell me first, is it?" Karkat snapped back, and bit his lip.
"Aw, c'mon. My word on it. No --" his voice went thick there, making Karkat's heart kick up a notch, "no putting it in, not anything in, exit only, okay, I respect that. Just, can I -- can I just. Like. Touch it."
Karkat had been flushed with embarrassment and reluctant arousal for a while now but his face burned at that, the words themselves and the image in his mind, but most of all the need in Strider's voice, the all too sincere desire.
"Fucking perv," he growled, closing his eyes. "Whatever, get it over with--"
One of Strider's hands raced back up his thigh; without support Karkat's hips twisted a bit, he had to strain to balance himself. He shuddered, clenching against his will as the pad of the man's thumb spread his ass cheeks just a little bit more, spread him open. Touched him.
"Fffuck, fuck, how long are you, how long, Dave please--"
Strider was making little soothing noises, crooning bits of song, even as he shifted his hips and his dick went and nestled between Karkat's ass cheeks, dragged back until the head, oh no, no no no, Karkat had one leg free to kick with--
"Hey." Knee captured. A light kiss to the inside of it. Dave's red eyes were so, so -- "Trust."
What the fuck even was trust. Shaking, he slung his leg over Dave's shoulder for support, awkward, tense, eyes closed tight like if he didn't see it he could pretend the guy wasn't rubbing slow and thorough all over his pucker.
And then Dave was surging forward, pressing Karkat's knees into his chest with the weight of his body. For a fraction of second Karkat thought he was shoving it in and he just wasn't feeling it yet, but no, there it was, rubbing against his balls, his own cock, and they were so close and he was so relieved that he just wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and held on, folded tight and rutted against and his mouth mashed against Dave's, and he didn't even know who had kissed who first.
Dave was mumbling things in his mouth as he thrust, a jumble of catkittycrab sohotyeswant, running together until it was nothing but background noise, until all the meaning was in the tone. Karkat groaned back, rocked against him as much as he could, ragged nails digging into his back. He bit at Dave's lip, at his chin, anywhere he could reach, kissed him again, deeper, taking over.
Amongst the jumbled bits of words falling out of his lips Karkat thought he'd almost heard his name.
Wet heat splattered his body. Strider went rigid over him, stopped breathing entirely, shockingly silent. Karkat moaned a protest in his mouth, tried to rock, no, no, damn it, it'd started to feel good and everything. There wasn't enough space for him to shove his hand between their bodies and jerk himself off, and then there was even less space as Strider spread his legs and slumped on top of him like a felled tree.
"Hate you fucking hate you gonna kill you in the face fucking shit Strider--"
Karkat shoved at him. Strider nuzzled lazily against his neck and didn't budge, humming smugly. "Welp. Was s'posed to smother you with a pillow mid-orgasm, right? 's like, serial killer 101?"
"--Shut up shut up shut up get off me I fucking hate you--"
Low, rough-edged laugh, rumbling as they rested chest to chest. The vibrations were torture. Karkat latched onto the top of his ear with his teeth.
"Ow ow okay!"
He rocked lazily on top of Karkat, who couldn't help but gasp and release it. "Not enough, fucking cocktease, get off me, need to -- shit, need to oh thank god."
He'd thanked God too early. Strider had pushed himself up, but when he tried to grab a hold of himself the asswipe pushed his hand away. No, no, damn him--
... Oh. Okay yes mouths were an alright substitute. Yes. Proceed.
The condom had shifted some, uncomfortably, but it was still on him somehow. Dave slid it back into place with his mouth.
He didn't tease this time, didn't take it long and slow, just swallowed him to the root fast and hard, several times in a row. Karkat fisted his fingers in white hair and came.
By the time he'd stopped shaking Strider had crawled back up his body and slumped heavily by his side, face down on the mattress. One arm was thrown across his chest, heavy. Possessive. Karkat breathed, listening to Dave's little groans and the rain plinking quietly on the skylight.
"So..."
"Was it good for you, baby?" Karkat finished first, because by now he could smell a horrid cheesy set-up coming from a mile away.
Strider went snrk. "It was divine," he said around a laugh, "I saw angels, oh no, wait, it was you."
Karkat rolled his eyes and shifted a little to give him the side-eye. His hair was stuck to his forehead by sweat. Actually so was Strider's. "I have nothing against kicking your mouth in, now it's done being of use to me, you realize."
"So callous. What, you're not going to marry me anyway now you've taken my most precious flower? But you promised you'd still respect me in the morning!"
Karkat gave a slow blink. "I lied."
No comeback, just tired chuckles. Looked like he won this round. He allowed himself a little quirk of a smile.
Damn but the futon was nice. Quality. He might want to commune with it some. Yes.
"Hey, crabbycat?"
"... What."
"How old are you? By the way. Just to know."
Growl. Damn it. "Eighteen, now stop ruining my afterglow."
Dave lifted his head from the mattress to stare at him. "Dude, I've already jizzed all over you, that horse has left the barn. It is never coming back to the barn, it is now crossing the state line and heading for Mexico at a fiery gallop, tossing its glorious mane all the way."
"What's it with you and horses," Karkat grumped, looking away, "dead horses, cartoon ponies, now horses escape artists..."
Poke, poke, pointy finger in his ribs. "Crabkitty."
"Sixteen," he mumbled, glaring daggers at an unsuspecting bit of wall with tattered, yellowing posters plastered on. "In a month."
Strider considered it in silence for a few seconds, and then slumped back down. "... Oh well," he said philosophically. "I was already going to hell anyway."
Quiet again. The rain kept plink-plinking on the roof. Somewhere far away, the thunder rumbled. Karkat didn't think there were a lot of more satisfying feelings than being warm and cozy when outside it was all wet and cold.
Alright, being warm and cozy and recovering from a pretty awesome orgasm topped it, but not by too much.
His hip joints ached a bit. He still had the condom on, like a sadly deflated party balloon. Strider's come was drying in his pubes and in a trail up his stomach. He didn't want to move.
He thought Strider might be asleep, and that he'd wake him if he did move anyway, and that...
"How did you know my name?" he asked, very quietly. Because the more he thought about it, and the less he could get rid of the thought that he actually had heard karkat, karkat moaned into his mouth.
"Mnh?"
He turned to face him, Strider's arm shifting to end up around his waist instead. He stared. Palest lashes closed, face slack, content. "Where did you learn my name."
He expected a crack about stalking, Strider had nothing better to do with his time, those piles of money just generated themselves -- he expected a crack not about stalking, because stalking was the actual answer. He expected...
"Dude... 'd know you anywhere."
Karkat blinked dumbly, staring at that relaxed face.
"What?"
Dave's brow furrowed; he cracked open one eye to glance at him. "Mnrgh. Told you already."
"Told me what?" Karkat demanded, frustrated. "You told me you're an alien, you told me you're a devil, you told me you're a virgin-- I disbelieve that one even harder, by the way, if that were possible."
"Heh." A secret smile. "We're all aliens to each other, baby."
"Oh, fuck you." The asshole had no intention of telling him. (The asshole had already told him. But, just. No.)
With a sigh, he tried to relax into the mattress. His knee touched Dave's thigh, his breath ruffled pale hair. It was still warm and cozy, the light of the bedside lamp only making it more so.
He was half-asleep when Dave twitched himself back to wakefulness. "Oh -- when you leave tomorrow."
... right. Yeah. When he left tomorrow. As per the agreement. Not that he'd honestly thought Strider might caress the hopeless desire to keep him around a little bit longer. Not after all the cuddles and the mad flattery or anything. The man was just touch-starved, any piece of jailbait ass would do. Karkat had known that. He had, right?
"If you. Like. Have a board meeting early. And you absolutely have to abscond while I still snooze the snooze of the thoroughly laid. Leave me some pizza, okay?"
Karkat groaned and ... didn't kick him, because that'd be presuming too much, now, somehow. "Sure," he promised, and almost managed lightly. "The plasma screen is non-negotiable though."
"Sure, go ahead. My casa es su casa."
Karkat snorted faintly. He didn't say anything about the accent and the pain it wrought on actual Spanish speakers, though. Not even because then the asshole might ask him nosy things about his origins again (Dad from India, mom from Puerto Rico, kid not really from anywhere woo.)
"If you've got time, though, I'll show you a bit of parkour tricks."
"... Okay, that one completely lost me. I am adrift on the Whatthefuck sea on my way to Port Whatthefuck from Whatthefuckistan. It is a very large sea."
"No, see, it totally makes sense."
"If your brain is rotted through. Is that it? You're a fucking magical zombie? Suddenly all makes sense!"
"Noo, no no no." Strider started walking his fingers on Karkat's hip, in a way that was probably supposed to be illustrative of something besides an interest in fondling his ass. "Parkour means you can climb up the next building over, and then climb your way to my rad pool which you'd look very nice in speedos by. 'Cause if I give the keys to an underage kid... I might have forked over enough hush money to the concierge for him to pimp me some more twinks for you to frolic with but it ain't gonna do jack shit about the paparazzi."
Blink. Blink. Suddenly Karkat's mounting anger was gloriously derailed. Two times in a row. He -- he couldn't address the first yet. He just -- oh.
He licked his dry lips. "Paparazzi? Are you -- uh. Famous or something?"
Strider started snickering, turning on his side to face Karkat, arm crossed over his stomach and all loose-limbed and amused and unfairly gorgeous. "I just have one of those faces."
"You're famous. I'm not even surprised, actually, it was that or possessed of extraordinary business acumen, but you're too annoying to be a successful con artist. What I'm surprised is that people would even want to be invited by you twice in this ridiculous showpiece, how can they not figure out they're being trolled?"
A chuckle. "I ask myself that every single day. And then I ask myself, is it still funny? And it is, so as the wise man said, Cowabunga."
Karkat couldn't help looking vaguely admiring. "God, you're a douche."
"Guilty as charged." He tightened his hold on Karkat's waist, leaned in for a quick kiss, then flipped on his back and released him like it was no thing, all that easy affection, those weirdo promises, that... that thing Karkat didn't believe. "And if you don't feel like coming back to get some more sugar, that's cool, the parkour thing will help making you a very successful cat burglar. See, Jesus would want me to pass the lore down onto you."
What the fuck, he was all over the place. Karkat got this one though, as much as it gave him a headache to think he could follow Dave Strider's mad rambles. Give a man a fish versus teach a man to fish. Enabling Karkat to feed himself.
By becoming a burglar, woo. Karkat was fucking swooning, no, really, he was. He punched Strider in the biceps, slapped the condom on his leg, and then cuddled up to his side, glaring a challenge to say a single word about any of this.
"I'm imagining you in a catsuit, by the way," Strider commented casually, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Skintight. Oh yeah. If you come back you are so wearing one."
"I'll wear one for your funeral."
"Good, you should still be in fuckable shape by then." A friendly kiss to his forehead, like Karkat was six and not sixteen and he hadn't just banged him. He blindly threw the condom off him over the edge of the futon and clicked off the bedside lamp.
The room was dark, but flickers of lightning and billboards tinted the walls, the sheets, Strider's profile. Street noises and thunder were a distant purr.
It was safe in here. He liked that.
Eyes closed, half asleep, he asked, "Were we together in your past life?"
"Haha. Nah. You didn't hate me enough."
"Could fix that now," Karkat mumbled.
Dave's hand ruffled his hair. "Yeah, okay."
---
Title from It's All Been Done.
I met you before the fall of Rome
And I begged you to let me take you home
You were wrong, I was right
You said goodbye, I said goodnight
It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before
...
"Why hey there little fella. There, there, no need to be shy."
Karkat glared down, cheeks heating. Strider had shifted to lay belly down between Karkat's spread legs, propped up on his elbows; he was peering curiously at what he could see of Karkat's erection through the open pants. "If you start chatting up my dick I am so gone, it'll be like I was never here."
Strider looked up at him, red eyes half-veiled by mussed white hair, so serious it was like a bullet to the head.
"Can't have that."
He leaned in, kissed Karkat's cock right through the open zipper. Karkat's toes curled.
Just little kisses, a rain of them, up and down his shaft and on his belly too, nuzzles to his cock and to his treasure trail indiscriminately, at this point he wouldn't even be surprised if Strider rubbed his cheek against his crotch and started to purr like Karkat had bathed in catnip. It was a little hard to breathe.
Oh hey, the ceiling wasn't weird-colored, the ceiling was a skylight. Fascinating discovery. Strider seemed determined to kiss every single square inch of his cock, possibly twice. Wet, openmouthed, rather French kisses. Karkat sneakily bunched up the blankets so it wouldn't show when he clenched his hands. He couldn't look away.
Strider looked up at him and winked.
"--Ow. No kicking. I bruise easy. And what then, what'll we tell the neighbors, I can't keep walking into doors every week, honey--"
"Go down on me already you walking case of crotch rot!"
The asshole chuckled. "Oh hey, that reminds me." And then he sat up, leaving Karkat's cock a little damp and exposed to the cool air of the room. What? What? No, hey --
Oh. Nightstand. Condom. Okay. Yeah. He nodded dazedly as Strider shook it under his nose for approval. Okay sure, so long as there were no holes in there.
Pineapple-flavored. What the fuck ever.
Strider unpackaged it quickly, placed the tip on his cockhead, and unrolled it down the whole length of Karkat's erection with his mouth.
Oh. Hey. Skylight. Nice to see you again. The storm clouds were a little orangey from the city lights. The glass was splattered with raindrops. Pretty. Karkat was flat on his back. How the heck had that happened.
Lips a firm, tight seal around him, Strider pulled off him. Even through the condom his mouth was hot, his tongue, shit, the way he sucked a bit, not too hard yet, teased his crown, oh, went back down right to the root of him. Karkat might not be huge but how the fuck did he do that so easily, oh shit. Felt good.
He closed his eyes, felt blindly for the man's head, slipped his fingers through silk-smooth hair; as Strider's head kept bobbing steadily he petted, caressed, there, there, good, yes, more -- words he couldn't say, but gestures he could make. Strider's hair felt so nice and fine, goddamn bastard must buy the designer shampoos --
Pleasure rose, pressure. After the thin rubber barrier it was a shock when Strider's mouth found his balls, bare skin; his hands tightened in the man's hair. He groaned. Moaned. Whatever, it was embarrassing; he bit his lip, tried to keep quiet and then forgot.
"--kat, hey, Cat."
"Uh -- what?" Okay, his mouth was off Karkat's anatomy, he was not okay with that. He pushed himself up on an elbow, squinted.
The asshole curled his fingers around Karkat's shaft and pressed his cheek against it like it was a precious little kitten and he wanted to cuddle it. "Can I take your pants off and behold your naked glory. Pretty please with your cherry on top. I am holding your boner hostage."
With a cry of frustration and annoyance Karkat let himself fall back, pressed both hands to his face so he didn't have to behold the most irritating asswipe on the planet. "Okay, fine, I fucking give! Tear my clothes off and have your way with me, go ahead! God I hate you."
"You can't tell because I'm laying down but I'm swooning all over the place. So romantic. The romantiquest."
"What did the English language ever do to youuuuuu."
"It was tragic. We do not speak of it. Needless to say I am still traumatized to this day."
Karkat would have kicked him, but at that point he sat up and divested Karkat of his ratty shoes and then yanked Karkat's borrowed pants off, lifting his ass off the futon. Karkat fell back down bare-assed with his pants around his knees, and Strider was quick to pull them all the way off.
After that...
"Is -- is it -- like. A rule or something. That--" he licked dry lips; "--the hornier you get, the more bullshit you spout?"
Strider moved over him, still clothed in his stupidly fancy stuff, hands resting on Karkat's bare hips and gliding up. "Pretty much," he said, and, "Arch your back a bit."
Karkat did. The angora sweater and the tanktop ended up bunched over his chest, nipples barely peeking out under the wool. He could borderline feel Strider's hungry gaze on them. His hands clenched on the blankets, wishing he could curl them in the sweater, shield himself.
"You're gorgeous."
"You're delusional."
The guy's voice took on a teasing lilt. "Also your chubby is going on a diet."
--fuck. He lifted his head to check, and sure enough his dick was going soft. Nothing to be mortified about. No, wait, he wasn't even supposed to care about getting off, when had he started? He let his head thump back on the mattress with a frustrated groan. "Just -- ignore that. It's -- it'll come back." Or not. Karkat was betting on not.
"Crabbycat. Hey. Look at me. Look into those gorgeous as fuck fiery irises of intense hotness."
Karkat did, mostly because he was too busy snorting in disbelief to think better of it. Strider was looking down at him, a vague little smile on his face. (He did have disturbingly gorgeous eyes, the son of a bitch. Karkat vaguely wondered why he hid them. It couldn't be because he didn't like the attention.)
"Nerves?"
Karkat snarled. "Fuck you."
Strider opened his mouth, seemed -- miracle of miracles -- to reconsider, and closed it again. Alas not for long. "There is so much I could do with this one I don't even know where to start, babe."
He rested his hand on Karkat's inner thigh, caressing. Karkat's legs snapped closed of their own volition.
Strider considered his trapped hand, one single eyebrow quirking up pointedly. Face flushing hot, Karkat forced himself to part his knees again.
"You don't need to say it," he made himself say. "El-oh-el it's the other way around, so funny, hah, I could just--"
"Shush."
Blink. Why did he have a hand on his face, patting away. Ow, his nose. The fuck.
He pushed it back only to see Strider's face closing in. He let himself be kissed with only a little confused grunt, kissed back, it had been nice and safe and a good delaying tactic up until now...
And then it failed him because he was naked (having his top hiked up to his armpit and nothing else did not count as dressed in his book, he might as well wear nothing but thigh high socks and a pretty hair ribbon for how dressed he felt) and that meant Strider could, and did, press his body to Karkat's, covering him entirely once again.
He made a little noise in Strider's mouth. (He wasn't calling it a whimper.) His hands came up, snaked under Strider's arms to clench on the back of Strider's button-up shirt. He wasn't sure if he wanted a grip to try to pull him off at some point or if he was just clinging. He was shaking, he could tell he was, he couldn't stop.
"So," Strider whispered as he nuzzled Karkat's cheek. "Anal killed your grandmother and poisoned your dog. You and anal have, like, a fated hatemance going on."
Karkat growled, the sound choked up in his throat, and bit at his chin. The guy took it for an invitation to start nibbling on Karkat's ear.
"I hear you. You hate anal more than you hate me. Sob, cruel kitten. But I shall go on."
He nuzzled his way into Karkat's neck, ticklish. Karkat dug his fingers in the muscles of his back and growled a wordless threat. He wished he had claws. "Stop dragging it on and just do it, okay. I'll -- I'll get over it."
He was still hard, Karkat could feel the stiff length of his cock against his groin, pressed right up to his balls, hips rocking in little twitches. It wouldn't be hard to, to...
"... Nah. Got a better idea. You gotta trust me not to surprise cornhole you, though. Think you can manage?"
Karkat forced his eyes open, met Strider's red -- much too close, nose to nose. He stared for a few seconds.
"Trust is for chumps," he grumbled in the end, but he relaxed a little anyway. Strider flicked him a smile and stole a quick kiss before pushing himself up, kneeling up. His fingers flew over all those buttons like he barely needed to brush them and here they were, swooning under his touch, undone.
Karkat was getting loopy with exhaustion and fright. What the hell, brain.
Pale skin. And some more pale skin. Finely defined muscles. A couple of very unexpected knife scars. Karkat lifted a hand without thinking, and then Strider had seen him and he wasn't about to retreat so he finished reaching out, tracing one with index and middle fingers.
Strider didn't move as long as Karkat's hand was on him, like he didn't want to spook him, but the second Karkat let his hand fall back his pants were pushed down his thighs and he was wriggling out of ... was that Tony the Tiger on his crotch-cover.
"Good thing my boner was already dead. You are so fucking suave, it slays me."
"I know right," Strider deadpanned as he did an awkward dance from knee to knee to free himself from his underwear. "I slay me too sometimes, like I'm all minding my own business, going down the street like a rad as hell sexy bastard and whatnot, and suddenly a mirror. Bam. Another Dead Dave. Good thing I've got infinite respawn, but still it's irresponsible as shit to plant these things willy-nilly."
Oh. He wasn't going to pretend to be named Stud, then. Dave was a pretty banal name. Maybe it was a reference to something Karkat had missed; hard to follow the latest TV and internet fads from the gutter.
Maybe it really was his name.
Maybe he was still flapping his noise hole. Maybe there was only one reliable way to stop that.
Karkat sat up, linked his hands behind the idiot's neck, and yanked him down for a kiss.
He'd yanked hard enough and Strider didn't have any way to catch himself; he fell on top of him, and then started laughing in Karkat's mouth. Karkat might perhaps have cracked a smile. Perhaps.
... But wow, all that naked skin. All that... naked. Against him. That was, yeah, uh. A bit intimidating. He concentrated on kissing. Kissing was nice. He liked that part.
Strider shifted his weight over him, straddled his hips. His boner bounced on Karkat's belly, left a little drop of wetness. Ngh.
"Spread your legs just a bit, babe." He slipped his hand between Karkat's thighs, shockingly warm, wriggled his fingers, tickling, until Karkat jerked his knees apart. Okay, he was still straddling Karkat's lap, he couldn't get at his asshole. He allowed it. Even when Strider pulled out the bottle of lube and pumped his own dick once, twice, long and thorough.
He cupped Karkat's balls with his lube-slick hand, caressed them, the spot behind them. Nudged his fingers down between his inner thighs. Then he guided the tip of his cock there and with a long stroke he pushed himself down the same path.
Pause. Deep breath. For Karkat too.
"Squeeze your -- yeah. Like that. Fuck, you're perfect. Fucking perfect. Mnh."
He was a little less coherent with his dick trapped between Karkat's thighs, rocking on top of him the same exact way as before only there were no more clothes in the way and he was heavy on Karkat, taking over everything, his entire awareness. Where his body wasn't covered by Strider's he was buried in the mattress instead; full-body contact felt like a gigantic understatement. Karkat closed his eyes and tightened his hold around his shoulders and buried his face in the man's neck, hidden by tumbling white locks.
It managed to be possibly more intimate than actually having any of the guy's body parts inside him.
He didn't know how he felt about it.
(Like maybe he could feel safe?)
(No, that was fucking stupid, safety was for chumps. It was always a lie anyway.)
Strider's cock kept gliding between his slicked thighs, only a few inches back and forth but it left his skin tingling nevertheless. He couldn't help being intensely aware of that ridiculously small area, of the way Strider's belly rubbed on Karkat's own cock, still lying limp in its abandoned condom, of the lips on his shoulder, the little murmurs in his ear.
It tingled. Pretty much all over.
"Why do you like smothering me so much," he muttered into Dave's -- Strider's shoulder. "Is that your fetish, you creepy asshole -- ah."
Cheater. Dragging the flare of his cockhead up against the underside of Karkat's balls. And then plunging back to the hilt, not too fast but still enough to make him bounce on the mattress some; shit, it might not involve actual penetration but Karkat still felt fucked.
Not... in a bad way. He supposed. Mnh.
"Yeah. Squashed Karcrab. Cat pancakes. My favorite. Wish I was two hundred pounds heavier. Gog I want -- I want, I wish we could merge, I want to roll around in you, wear you like a backpack, we could go out that way, you'd never need a chair, no sir my lap is at your service--"
Karkat squeezed his thighs a little bit, muscles shifting around his cock. Seemed like a good way to make him go incoherent again, even if not for very long. He grinned a little when it worked, victorious. "If you mention unbirthing or vore I'm figuring out teleporting just so I can abscond. Just saying."
He ran his hands down the guy's back a little, testing. It wasn't bad. He was warm. His muscles tensed under Karkat's hands, he rolled his back like a cat wanting more caresses, groaning.
"You spout such goofy creeper bullshit when you get aroused even a little bit, asshole, I'm surprised you're not still a virgin."
Strider tried to speak again. Karkat clenched his thighs a second time. He was rewarded with a harder thrust, and another. So much leashed strength in that man.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I want to, I need to move harder, is that okay, sorry for the cuddles I love cuddles you're so fucking cuddlable, kittybabe --"
Karkat was finding himself a little breathless as well, and most of it was his reaction to how much of an effect he had on Dave. On Strider. "Yeah, yeah, okay, I can take it, go ahead."
Another few heavy thrusts down on him, bellies pressed tight together, making Karkat's own dick stir, and then Strider abandoned him. Karkat blinked up at him, arms empty, a little cold when the guy was suddenly on hands and knees over him, shuffling over -- grabbing his knees, dragging him to the edge of the futon. Lifting his legs.
Okay no from here he could definitely fuck him.
"Hey -- what the f-- Strider?"
He'd sounded more unsure than he meant to; Strider's manic need faded a little. He flicked him a little smile, and hugged Karkat's thighs to his chest.
And then he thrust between Karkat's thighs, until his cock bumped into Karkat's balls from behind, until he, oh, there it was.
Strider shifted back, braced his knees, spread some to accommodate how low the futon was to the floor, and thrust again. Karkat stared, propped up on his elbows and oddly mesmerized. It looked so -- so silly, but --
"Peekaboo," Strider said, in synch with his surfacing cockhead. Karkat tried to knee him in the head.
His legs were still trapped; he didn't manage. He growled, eyes gone to slits.
"Whoa, stallion, no bucking, you'd take Mister Happy with you, snap him off at the root." Strider dropped a kiss to the side of his knee, rubbed his leg -- soothing, trying to be soothing, Karkat was going to hurt him for real -- and then he started to really fuck.
It was, it was -- silly, and safe, and weirdly nice, not extremely stimulating but warm, and he could feel the whole impact of him traveling through his own body, and -- okay, he hadn't known he had that many nerve endings in his inner thighs. Tingles, again.
And then there were the irregular bumps to his sac, the long glides across his taint. He spent a minute or two chewing on his lip, hesitating.
Thought, oh, fuck it, and curled his fingers around his stirring cock.
"Oh -- oh yeah, pull it, show me how you straddle your paddle --"
"Stop breaking the mood!" Karkat snarled, but his hand kept moving. Strider's eyes were fascinated, fixed on his cock. "I'm not doing it -- not so you can -- ogle and shit, I'm not."
Strider let out another near-silent laugh, this one breathless, oddly arresting. "But it's so oglable. Also if I don't shoot the breeze, I'm gonna shoot my load. Shit be embarrassing."
Was he really that close? His face was flushed, true, but that he could still be so glib made Karkat doubt.
He rocked back to meet his next thrust, experimentally, thighs clenching some. Dave gasped, leaned into him, bending him almost double. Karkat's abs strained to resist the weight; he grunted with the strain, hands gripping the blankets, trying to brace. "Heavy!"
Dave dropped feverish little kisses on his knee, nuzzled. "Shh, shh, you're bendy, just bend, just -- pillow, get me that pillow, fuck yes thanks --"
This time Karkat couldn't even protest; it was getting hard to breathe, Strider had pulled his knees toward his chest and tucked the pillow Karkat thoughtlessly grabbed for him under his hips to prop them up, and now when Dave let go his knees, his upper legs were heavy enough to threaten to fall on his face and possibly break his spine, and he was spread open, oh hell, so completely vulnerable.
"I -- feel like -- like a goddamn porn star -- real people aren't supposed to -- shit, Strider, please don't."
His hands were smoothing up the back of Karkat's thighs, thumbs rubbing behind his knees, keeping him folded in two. Karkat's balls pulled up (down? up his cock) with gravity -- such a weird feeling -- and if he could have told himself that was what Strider was looking at, but no, it was his hole.
"... Fuck, that looks tight."
Oh hell. Oh shit. "Strider --"
He dragged his eyes away, met Karkat's eyes. Karkat could only stare back and not let his face show how scary it was to have the man's thick, hard shaft resting casually against the curve of his ass, radiating warmth and, and intent somehow.
"Shh, I promised no surprise cornholing, babe, just--"
"Not a surprise if you tell me first, is it?" Karkat snapped back, and bit his lip.
"Aw, c'mon. My word on it. No --" his voice went thick there, making Karkat's heart kick up a notch, "no putting it in, not anything in, exit only, okay, I respect that. Just, can I -- can I just. Like. Touch it."
Karkat had been flushed with embarrassment and reluctant arousal for a while now but his face burned at that, the words themselves and the image in his mind, but most of all the need in Strider's voice, the all too sincere desire.
"Fucking perv," he growled, closing his eyes. "Whatever, get it over with--"
One of Strider's hands raced back up his thigh; without support Karkat's hips twisted a bit, he had to strain to balance himself. He shuddered, clenching against his will as the pad of the man's thumb spread his ass cheeks just a little bit more, spread him open. Touched him.
"Fffuck, fuck, how long are you, how long, Dave please--"
Strider was making little soothing noises, crooning bits of song, even as he shifted his hips and his dick went and nestled between Karkat's ass cheeks, dragged back until the head, oh no, no no no, Karkat had one leg free to kick with--
"Hey." Knee captured. A light kiss to the inside of it. Dave's red eyes were so, so -- "Trust."
What the fuck even was trust. Shaking, he slung his leg over Dave's shoulder for support, awkward, tense, eyes closed tight like if he didn't see it he could pretend the guy wasn't rubbing slow and thorough all over his pucker.
And then Dave was surging forward, pressing Karkat's knees into his chest with the weight of his body. For a fraction of second Karkat thought he was shoving it in and he just wasn't feeling it yet, but no, there it was, rubbing against his balls, his own cock, and they were so close and he was so relieved that he just wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and held on, folded tight and rutted against and his mouth mashed against Dave's, and he didn't even know who had kissed who first.
Dave was mumbling things in his mouth as he thrust, a jumble of catkittycrab sohotyeswant, running together until it was nothing but background noise, until all the meaning was in the tone. Karkat groaned back, rocked against him as much as he could, ragged nails digging into his back. He bit at Dave's lip, at his chin, anywhere he could reach, kissed him again, deeper, taking over.
Amongst the jumbled bits of words falling out of his lips Karkat thought he'd almost heard his name.
Wet heat splattered his body. Strider went rigid over him, stopped breathing entirely, shockingly silent. Karkat moaned a protest in his mouth, tried to rock, no, no, damn it, it'd started to feel good and everything. There wasn't enough space for him to shove his hand between their bodies and jerk himself off, and then there was even less space as Strider spread his legs and slumped on top of him like a felled tree.
"Hate you fucking hate you gonna kill you in the face fucking shit Strider--"
Karkat shoved at him. Strider nuzzled lazily against his neck and didn't budge, humming smugly. "Welp. Was s'posed to smother you with a pillow mid-orgasm, right? 's like, serial killer 101?"
"--Shut up shut up shut up get off me I fucking hate you--"
Low, rough-edged laugh, rumbling as they rested chest to chest. The vibrations were torture. Karkat latched onto the top of his ear with his teeth.
"Ow ow okay!"
He rocked lazily on top of Karkat, who couldn't help but gasp and release it. "Not enough, fucking cocktease, get off me, need to -- shit, need to oh thank god."
He'd thanked God too early. Strider had pushed himself up, but when he tried to grab a hold of himself the asswipe pushed his hand away. No, no, damn him--
... Oh. Okay yes mouths were an alright substitute. Yes. Proceed.
The condom had shifted some, uncomfortably, but it was still on him somehow. Dave slid it back into place with his mouth.
He didn't tease this time, didn't take it long and slow, just swallowed him to the root fast and hard, several times in a row. Karkat fisted his fingers in white hair and came.
By the time he'd stopped shaking Strider had crawled back up his body and slumped heavily by his side, face down on the mattress. One arm was thrown across his chest, heavy. Possessive. Karkat breathed, listening to Dave's little groans and the rain plinking quietly on the skylight.
"So..."
"Was it good for you, baby?" Karkat finished first, because by now he could smell a horrid cheesy set-up coming from a mile away.
Strider went snrk. "It was divine," he said around a laugh, "I saw angels, oh no, wait, it was you."
Karkat rolled his eyes and shifted a little to give him the side-eye. His hair was stuck to his forehead by sweat. Actually so was Strider's. "I have nothing against kicking your mouth in, now it's done being of use to me, you realize."
"So callous. What, you're not going to marry me anyway now you've taken my most precious flower? But you promised you'd still respect me in the morning!"
Karkat gave a slow blink. "I lied."
No comeback, just tired chuckles. Looked like he won this round. He allowed himself a little quirk of a smile.
Damn but the futon was nice. Quality. He might want to commune with it some. Yes.
"Hey, crabbycat?"
"... What."
"How old are you? By the way. Just to know."
Growl. Damn it. "Eighteen, now stop ruining my afterglow."
Dave lifted his head from the mattress to stare at him. "Dude, I've already jizzed all over you, that horse has left the barn. It is never coming back to the barn, it is now crossing the state line and heading for Mexico at a fiery gallop, tossing its glorious mane all the way."
"What's it with you and horses," Karkat grumped, looking away, "dead horses, cartoon ponies, now horses escape artists..."
Poke, poke, pointy finger in his ribs. "Crabkitty."
"Sixteen," he mumbled, glaring daggers at an unsuspecting bit of wall with tattered, yellowing posters plastered on. "In a month."
Strider considered it in silence for a few seconds, and then slumped back down. "... Oh well," he said philosophically. "I was already going to hell anyway."
Quiet again. The rain kept plink-plinking on the roof. Somewhere far away, the thunder rumbled. Karkat didn't think there were a lot of more satisfying feelings than being warm and cozy when outside it was all wet and cold.
Alright, being warm and cozy and recovering from a pretty awesome orgasm topped it, but not by too much.
His hip joints ached a bit. He still had the condom on, like a sadly deflated party balloon. Strider's come was drying in his pubes and in a trail up his stomach. He didn't want to move.
He thought Strider might be asleep, and that he'd wake him if he did move anyway, and that...
"How did you know my name?" he asked, very quietly. Because the more he thought about it, and the less he could get rid of the thought that he actually had heard karkat, karkat moaned into his mouth.
"Mnh?"
He turned to face him, Strider's arm shifting to end up around his waist instead. He stared. Palest lashes closed, face slack, content. "Where did you learn my name."
He expected a crack about stalking, Strider had nothing better to do with his time, those piles of money just generated themselves -- he expected a crack not about stalking, because stalking was the actual answer. He expected...
"Dude... 'd know you anywhere."
Karkat blinked dumbly, staring at that relaxed face.
"What?"
Dave's brow furrowed; he cracked open one eye to glance at him. "Mnrgh. Told you already."
"Told me what?" Karkat demanded, frustrated. "You told me you're an alien, you told me you're a devil, you told me you're a virgin-- I disbelieve that one even harder, by the way, if that were possible."
"Heh." A secret smile. "We're all aliens to each other, baby."
"Oh, fuck you." The asshole had no intention of telling him. (The asshole had already told him. But, just. No.)
With a sigh, he tried to relax into the mattress. His knee touched Dave's thigh, his breath ruffled pale hair. It was still warm and cozy, the light of the bedside lamp only making it more so.
He was half-asleep when Dave twitched himself back to wakefulness. "Oh -- when you leave tomorrow."
... right. Yeah. When he left tomorrow. As per the agreement. Not that he'd honestly thought Strider might caress the hopeless desire to keep him around a little bit longer. Not after all the cuddles and the mad flattery or anything. The man was just touch-starved, any piece of jailbait ass would do. Karkat had known that. He had, right?
"If you. Like. Have a board meeting early. And you absolutely have to abscond while I still snooze the snooze of the thoroughly laid. Leave me some pizza, okay?"
Karkat groaned and ... didn't kick him, because that'd be presuming too much, now, somehow. "Sure," he promised, and almost managed lightly. "The plasma screen is non-negotiable though."
"Sure, go ahead. My casa es su casa."
Karkat snorted faintly. He didn't say anything about the accent and the pain it wrought on actual Spanish speakers, though. Not even because then the asshole might ask him nosy things about his origins again (Dad from India, mom from Puerto Rico, kid not really from anywhere woo.)
"If you've got time, though, I'll show you a bit of parkour tricks."
"... Okay, that one completely lost me. I am adrift on the Whatthefuck sea on my way to Port Whatthefuck from Whatthefuckistan. It is a very large sea."
"No, see, it totally makes sense."
"If your brain is rotted through. Is that it? You're a fucking magical zombie? Suddenly all makes sense!"
"Noo, no no no." Strider started walking his fingers on Karkat's hip, in a way that was probably supposed to be illustrative of something besides an interest in fondling his ass. "Parkour means you can climb up the next building over, and then climb your way to my rad pool which you'd look very nice in speedos by. 'Cause if I give the keys to an underage kid... I might have forked over enough hush money to the concierge for him to pimp me some more twinks for you to frolic with but it ain't gonna do jack shit about the paparazzi."
Blink. Blink. Suddenly Karkat's mounting anger was gloriously derailed. Two times in a row. He -- he couldn't address the first yet. He just -- oh.
He licked his dry lips. "Paparazzi? Are you -- uh. Famous or something?"
Strider started snickering, turning on his side to face Karkat, arm crossed over his stomach and all loose-limbed and amused and unfairly gorgeous. "I just have one of those faces."
"You're famous. I'm not even surprised, actually, it was that or possessed of extraordinary business acumen, but you're too annoying to be a successful con artist. What I'm surprised is that people would even want to be invited by you twice in this ridiculous showpiece, how can they not figure out they're being trolled?"
A chuckle. "I ask myself that every single day. And then I ask myself, is it still funny? And it is, so as the wise man said, Cowabunga."
Karkat couldn't help looking vaguely admiring. "God, you're a douche."
"Guilty as charged." He tightened his hold on Karkat's waist, leaned in for a quick kiss, then flipped on his back and released him like it was no thing, all that easy affection, those weirdo promises, that... that thing Karkat didn't believe. "And if you don't feel like coming back to get some more sugar, that's cool, the parkour thing will help making you a very successful cat burglar. See, Jesus would want me to pass the lore down onto you."
What the fuck, he was all over the place. Karkat got this one though, as much as it gave him a headache to think he could follow Dave Strider's mad rambles. Give a man a fish versus teach a man to fish. Enabling Karkat to feed himself.
By becoming a burglar, woo. Karkat was fucking swooning, no, really, he was. He punched Strider in the biceps, slapped the condom on his leg, and then cuddled up to his side, glaring a challenge to say a single word about any of this.
"I'm imagining you in a catsuit, by the way," Strider commented casually, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Skintight. Oh yeah. If you come back you are so wearing one."
"I'll wear one for your funeral."
"Good, you should still be in fuckable shape by then." A friendly kiss to his forehead, like Karkat was six and not sixteen and he hadn't just banged him. He blindly threw the condom off him over the edge of the futon and clicked off the bedside lamp.
The room was dark, but flickers of lightning and billboards tinted the walls, the sheets, Strider's profile. Street noises and thunder were a distant purr.
It was safe in here. He liked that.
Eyes closed, half asleep, he asked, "Were we together in your past life?"
"Haha. Nah. You didn't hate me enough."
"Could fix that now," Karkat mumbled.
Dave's hand ruffled his hair. "Yeah, okay."
---
Title from It's All Been Done.
I met you before the fall of Rome
And I begged you to let me take you home
You were wrong, I was right
You said goodbye, I said goodnight
It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before
...
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(Anonymous) 2012-09-26 12:11 am (UTC)(link)no subject
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'Nah. I did see your ass first. If you'd turned out to be fugly I'd have just broken out the paper bags for your face.' oh man, that was hilarious. Cold as ice, but funny.
Dave wanting to cuddle and being touchstarved- hm, he just doesn't seem to get any family love in any verse does he? Albino!Dave was a nice touch, and makes logical sense enough to make me wonder about canon!Dave. Dave clearly remembers things from canon, but what has me interested was the nicknames. The crab part made sense because of Karkat's lusus, but Karkitty just made me think of Nepeta's nickname for him. It's been a while since I read when everyone interacts on the meteor, so that could just be my faulty memory. I can definitely tell why Karkat has the lower sense of self esteem in this verse, but kind of miss all shouty angry Karkat. Ergh. Now I understand why Dave kept wanting to cuddle him. The sweater that was a nice detail shoutout to Kankri.
...Trying to imagine this iteration of Karkat getting a load of Dirk, identical to and even weirder than Dave and possibly more obsessed with ponies. *cackles*
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I think in here Dave went kitty because of alley cats, but yeah, this is a logical step I should have shown so it wouldn't come across as an authorial "come on, it's cute". >__>; Then again, kat => cat/kitten/kitty is not a very wide leap to make. he was NOT calling him that on the meteor, though. XD;; it's just AHHH YOU'RE KARKAT BUT SMALLER AND LOSTER LET ME CUDDLEHUGGROPE YOU never leave again.
alas I don't think there's a dirk yet in this 'verse. XD;;; 400 years in the future, yeah, but. sad.
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(Anonymous) 2012-09-28 09:20 am (UTC)(link)Love how fucked up you wrote Dave here. Like, has he been hoping to find his friends/anyone he used to know, and the the first one he finds is Karkat? Is he so beyond morality because of a jaded life, or because of dying so often? Does he feel guilty in the end, or is he beyond that, too?
Reading this was almost hipnotic, how desperate Dave got while still trying not to mess up Karkat too bad, but not quite willing to back off and and... (no coherence here, sorry, still reeling)
And Karkat being so fucked up from living on the streets, shit. Poor guy can't get a halfway-decent life even in human au's, which i totally understand, it's like misery is a part of his character. Is he still interested in romance in this verse? Maybe as an abstract, and not as something that might happen to him?
Is there a Gamzee in this verse? The "lifestyle hobos" line made me think of him, though at the same time he'd fit into the rich-guy stereotype. Or maybe just not be reborn into the same time period as Dave and Karkat at all.
Anyways, wow is this ever a great read! Your healthy relationship fics are amazingly awesome always, but sometimes it's fun to read messed up people unable to function quite right.
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Rose found him first and they have a strange dysfunctional relationship because they remember being siblings *but*; at the same time they both have their own lives and seeing as Rose is out as a lesbian it'd be weird if suddenly they were living together and stuff when they've never been publically introduced. ;_; But she's pretty much the only one. John and Jade are dead of olds and he didn't even think any of the trolls were around and in this world there isn't even any version of his bro, Dave was born without siblings and then lost his not-parents and then foster care yayyyy and he has this other life in his head that no one would ever believe or even truly get even if (big if) they accepted it. he's ridiculous levels of lonely. ;___;
Karkat still wants to believe in romance, which is why he was asking about them being together in Dave's previous life. XD He doesn't WANT to believe his ridiculous story but there's a part of him that wishes really hard he had a destined someone looking for him through this shitty life and it's just a matter of holding on until he's found. ;__; but yeah his situation went from bad to worse, so he's been kinda soured on it. ;;
idk about a Gamzee but if there is Karkat didn't meet him. Considering Terezi was Karkat's grandmother it's also very likely Gamzee is already long dead.
Am v. glad you enjoyed it, thank you! ^^
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(Anonymous) 2012-09-29 06:51 am (UTC)(link)stalks other comments for more backstory wowno subject