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naruto 535
oh my god there's a third adorable AND SO WRONG chibi comic starring Rock Lee!!! squeeeeee. (also lots of OH GOD MY EYES WHY but in the end, still eeeeee.)
... oh okay yes, the manga.
1. "naruto faces his biggest barrier!" "Iruka-sensei, you're here too?? D:"
... yeeeah, mommy instincts are FEARSOME. 9__9
Iruka: *takes naruto for an idiot, telling him a story about how his "secret mission" to catalogue the island's animals was expanded ZOMG CONFIRM THE ENTIRELY NEW SPECIES OF ANIMALZ"
Naruto: *... totally buys it* *though he does ask if it's related to kyuubi since he sensed its chakra earlier*
wtf moronruto. He was acting so smart earlier and then ... seriously it's like Kishimoto was going "shit, how to keep his manly man-sage manliness contained NOW... oh well, he was supposed to be a bit silly, let's crank it up. If anyone notices, operation laugh-nervously-and-change-the-topic!!"
2. Iruka: *keeps lying to naruto, but not even that well ahaha ^___^;;*
naruto: *doesn't notice that iruka is lying, but he DOES believe in how Bee has tamed ALL the island's beast! LOOK I CAN DO LOGICS*
3. naruto: *wants to go out and take care of the animals himself, damn it.*
*suddenly ten fics with veterinarian!naruto pop into existence*
Okay, no, from here on he's starting to suspect, merely testing the story. >__>
Aburame Shibi's insects: *bloated and huge as they approach*
naruto: FUCK YOU GUYS I HAVE MAGIC MASCARA.
4. Akimichi Irukasbitch & Akimichi Irukasotherbitch: THOU SHALL NOT PASS.
next panel: Waterfall of Truth: *vomits out people*
Naruto's konoha headband: *FLIES OFF MEANINGFULLY*
5. Nara Forkedponytailmaru: SHADOW GET.
Naruto: ... fuck. I STILL HAVE MAGIC MASCAR--ohfuckgaiz. something is coming. SOMETHING IS COMING AND TAKING THREE PANELS OF WOOSH.
ninjapeople: shyeah right, pull the other one.
6. Oh sorry gaiz I was just having magic visions from a land far away. Where Kakashi and Gai kick ass, Shika and Ino kick ass, bokepokey-chan kicks ass (on the other side alas, but it's just samurai so who cares), random ninjas kick ass, lots of fodderzetsus die as their asses are kicked, and Sakura heals people.
Business as usual, then.
7. naruto: *half a page of huge WTF???! face* AAA WHAT IS GOING OOON
Iruka: ... yeah, so, um. Madara is a dick. Also, war.
naruto: war over whose dick?
iruka: well uh, kind of y--
naruto: sasuke's, right? totes sasuke's. boy, revenge and blood are bad and stuff, but I know i'd fight a war for sasuke. and sasuke's manparts. yeah. wouldn't want him to be missing pieces on arrival, cause i suck at all those "assembly required" fiddly things.
... do you think he'll like my new mascara?
8. iruka: "I think it's time to stop lying. naruto's no fool."
Is it the story continuity fighting to reestablish itself? GASP. YOU CAN DO IT. GO GO GO.
NARUTO THIS IS A WAR TO PROTECT YOU.
9. Oh look, Naruto is given the same choice as bazilion "special" women in manga -- sit tight and wait, you can help people most by letting theml rescue you.
Of course he's not going to give the same answer, and the narration will say it's a grand and awesome thing. Which I agree with. I'm just having flashbacks to the Save Rukia and Save Orihime arcs of Bleach siddenly and raging a little on the side. My bad, sorry.
*PAIN FLASHBACK* blahblah war tries to put a meaning to pain and despair and pain and hopelessness and pain, but really it's just pain. Naruto, it will be your duty to find an answer to this!
omg what is his answer!! >__>
10. "I'll end this war myself. I'll endure all the hate and pain on my own. That's my role!"
... Okay, he was a jesus FIGURE but now he has turned pretty much into Jesus 2, except I bet he's not gonna have to die for the world's sins. :/
Jeeze, I can't figure out if he truly thinks it'll do much. I seriously hope he's planning it in stages, like "1. stop the fights, 2. start negotiations"... then again Madara conveniently made himself a target to unite people behind, or I don't think Naruto's simplistic answer would have done much but made them sneak around behind his back to go back to fighting out their differends as soon as they could. And I don't see this solution lasting more than maybe half his life/his whole life. It's in the human nature to get twitchy and possessive about things and there's so rarely a good side and an evil side... ehh, what was I looking for. It'll depend how it's presented to work, I guess.
Iruka: *makes a omgwtf?? face.*
yeeeeeeah, that's about it.
12. iruka points out that it's not just about naruto, that he has kyuubi inside him. naruto misunderstands him as a "omg you told me you didn't caaaare about kyuubi T^T" thing. -__-;
Iruka plans to say what he REALLY thinks about naruto! "one of my most precious students" and...
13. "you're like a little brother to me."
... okay, i AWWed a little. .__.;
naruto: but i'm strong now blahblah forehead protector that you gave me blah!
man, i'm looking forward to when he gets kicked down a couple pegs. I mean, I like that he's getting confident in his new awesome abilities but it's so much more interesting when he's coming as the underdog and also pretty much an important part of storytelling, which means Madara must be planning something truly KICKASS. ... maybe involving Yamato. Hee.
14. *silent page of iruka picking up naruto's headband and handing it back solemnly* *naruto smiles gently like he already believes he's won the argument*
15. OOPS SUDDEN SEAL D:
"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM NOW YOU BRAT." Sorry naruto, Iruka is too much of a mommy to EVER let you grow up. u.u (then again you're friggin' FIFTEEN.)
Naruto: ... *goes saiyajin* =__= oops i broke it.
16. everyone: *gives chase omg* D:
naruto: *still supersaiyajin and gritting his teeth and why iruka-sensei whyyy*
17. naruto: *puts headband back on -- what is this? a secret letter? gaspu.*
"if you're reading this letter it means I couldn't stop you."
Aw, I was hoping Iruka was just pretending to play along with the lock-up party. I wonder what he's going to tell him. >___>
18. blahblahblah tons of shit blah oh yeah this is what i wanted to tell you. "COME BACK ALIVE NARUTO."
NO FUCKING KIDDING.
thank you Iruka for that backhanded before-the-battle blessing, that would probably be heartwarming but everyone knows my heart is a cold, shriveled thing which only blooms under the tears of my readers. Sorry. :/
BUT AT LEAST WE SAW SAKURA.
BLURRILY.
HEALING.
BUT WE SAW SAKURA.
now wtf are the hyuugas doing. also, gaara. chop chop, Kishi.
... oh okay yes, the manga.
1. "naruto faces his biggest barrier!" "Iruka-sensei, you're here too?? D:"
... yeeeah, mommy instincts are FEARSOME. 9__9
Iruka: *takes naruto for an idiot, telling him a story about how his "secret mission" to catalogue the island's animals was expanded ZOMG CONFIRM THE ENTIRELY NEW SPECIES OF ANIMALZ"
Naruto: *... totally buys it* *though he does ask if it's related to kyuubi since he sensed its chakra earlier*
wtf moronruto. He was acting so smart earlier and then ... seriously it's like Kishimoto was going "shit, how to keep his manly man-sage manliness contained NOW... oh well, he was supposed to be a bit silly, let's crank it up. If anyone notices, operation laugh-nervously-and-change-the-topic!!"
2. Iruka: *keeps lying to naruto, but not even that well ahaha ^___^;;*
naruto: *doesn't notice that iruka is lying, but he DOES believe in how Bee has tamed ALL the island's beast! LOOK I CAN DO LOGICS*
3. naruto: *wants to go out and take care of the animals himself, damn it.*
*suddenly ten fics with veterinarian!naruto pop into existence*
Okay, no, from here on he's starting to suspect, merely testing the story. >__>
Aburame Shibi's insects: *bloated and huge as they approach*
naruto: FUCK YOU GUYS I HAVE MAGIC MASCARA.
4. Akimichi Irukasbitch & Akimichi Irukasotherbitch: THOU SHALL NOT PASS.
next panel: Waterfall of Truth: *vomits out people*
Naruto's konoha headband: *FLIES OFF MEANINGFULLY*
5. Nara Forkedponytailmaru: SHADOW GET.
Naruto: ... fuck. I STILL HAVE MAGIC MASCAR--ohfuckgaiz. something is coming. SOMETHING IS COMING AND TAKING THREE PANELS OF WOOSH.
ninjapeople: shyeah right, pull the other one.
6. Oh sorry gaiz I was just having magic visions from a land far away. Where Kakashi and Gai kick ass, Shika and Ino kick ass, bokepokey-chan kicks ass (on the other side alas, but it's just samurai so who cares), random ninjas kick ass, lots of fodderzetsus die as their asses are kicked, and Sakura heals people.
Business as usual, then.
7. naruto: *half a page of huge WTF???! face* AAA WHAT IS GOING OOON
Iruka: ... yeah, so, um. Madara is a dick. Also, war.
iruka: well uh, kind of y--
naruto: sasuke's, right? totes sasuke's. boy, revenge and blood are bad and stuff, but I know i'd fight a war for sasuke. and sasuke's manparts. yeah. wouldn't want him to be missing pieces on arrival, cause i suck at all those "assembly required" fiddly things.
... do you think he'll like my new mascara?
8. iruka: "I think it's time to stop lying. naruto's no fool."
Is it the story continuity fighting to reestablish itself? GASP. YOU CAN DO IT. GO GO GO.
NARUTO THIS IS A WAR TO PROTECT YOU.
9. Oh look, Naruto is given the same choice as bazilion "special" women in manga -- sit tight and wait, you can help people most by letting theml rescue you.
Of course he's not going to give the same answer, and the narration will say it's a grand and awesome thing. Which I agree with. I'm just having flashbacks to the Save Rukia and Save Orihime arcs of Bleach siddenly and raging a little on the side. My bad, sorry.
*PAIN FLASHBACK* blahblah war tries to put a meaning to pain and despair and pain and hopelessness and pain, but really it's just pain. Naruto, it will be your duty to find an answer to this!
omg what is his answer!! >__>
10. "I'll end this war myself. I'll endure all the hate and pain on my own. That's my role!"
... Okay, he was a jesus FIGURE but now he has turned pretty much into Jesus 2, except I bet he's not gonna have to die for the world's sins. :/
Jeeze, I can't figure out if he truly thinks it'll do much. I seriously hope he's planning it in stages, like "1. stop the fights, 2. start negotiations"... then again Madara conveniently made himself a target to unite people behind, or I don't think Naruto's simplistic answer would have done much but made them sneak around behind his back to go back to fighting out their differends as soon as they could. And I don't see this solution lasting more than maybe half his life/his whole life. It's in the human nature to get twitchy and possessive about things and there's so rarely a good side and an evil side... ehh, what was I looking for. It'll depend how it's presented to work, I guess.
Iruka: *makes a omgwtf?? face.*
yeeeeeeah, that's about it.
12. iruka points out that it's not just about naruto, that he has kyuubi inside him. naruto misunderstands him as a "omg you told me you didn't caaaare about kyuubi T^T" thing. -__-;
Iruka plans to say what he REALLY thinks about naruto! "one of my most precious students" and...
13. "you're like a little brother to me."
... okay, i AWWed a little. .__.;
naruto: but i'm strong now blahblah forehead protector that you gave me blah!
man, i'm looking forward to when he gets kicked down a couple pegs. I mean, I like that he's getting confident in his new awesome abilities but it's so much more interesting when he's coming as the underdog and also pretty much an important part of storytelling, which means Madara must be planning something truly KICKASS. ... maybe involving Yamato. Hee.
14. *silent page of iruka picking up naruto's headband and handing it back solemnly* *naruto smiles gently like he already believes he's won the argument*
15. OOPS SUDDEN SEAL D:
"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM NOW YOU BRAT." Sorry naruto, Iruka is too much of a mommy to EVER let you grow up. u.u (then again you're friggin' FIFTEEN.)
Naruto: ... *goes saiyajin* =__= oops i broke it.
16. everyone: *gives chase omg* D:
naruto: *still supersaiyajin and gritting his teeth and why iruka-sensei whyyy*
17. naruto: *puts headband back on -- what is this? a secret letter? gaspu.*
"if you're reading this letter it means I couldn't stop you."
Aw, I was hoping Iruka was just pretending to play along with the lock-up party. I wonder what he's going to tell him. >___>
18. blahblahblah tons of shit blah oh yeah this is what i wanted to tell you. "COME BACK ALIVE NARUTO."
NO FUCKING KIDDING.
thank you Iruka for that backhanded before-the-battle blessing, that would probably be heartwarming but everyone knows my heart is a cold, shriveled thing which only blooms under the tears of my readers. Sorry. :/
BUT AT LEAST WE SAW SAKURA.
BLURRILY.
HEALING.
BUT WE SAW SAKURA.
now wtf are the hyuugas doing. also, gaara. chop chop, Kishi.
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15. OOPS SUDDEN SEAL D:
"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM NOW YOU BRAT." Sorry naruto, Iruka is too much of a mommy to EVER let you grow up. u.u (then again you're friggin' FIFTEEN.)
Naruto: ... *goes saiyajin* =__= oops i broke it.
-
Iruka used a jutsu! XD
-
now wtf are the hyuugas doing. also, gaara. chop chop, Kishi.
-
Proly still beating up Zetsus. Zetsui? Zetsues.
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*cracks up* oh the plural of zetsu. *deds*
as for Iruka, ehh, looks to me like he mostly led naruto into a pre-made trap, so for all we know... XD
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Also, am I right that the blurry flashpresent thing happened because of the shadow binding connecting Naruto to the weird telepathic communication... thing that Ino's Dad is coordinating? Or is it just magic?
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<3 <3 your commentary, as usual. As for the chapter, I'm really curious as to what the first thing Naruto sees of the battles will be!
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hmm! good question. i hope it's not hyuugas fighting each other. butt out, Naruto! >>
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THE NOISES I MADE. as;ldfg -cracks up forever-
That Rock Lee chapter had me making faces and giggle-snorting out of embarrassment all over. Just what were those ballerina costumes, anyway? Those panties...
man, i'm looking forward to when he gets kicked down a couple pegs.
Same here. I just... people are and have died to keep you safe, and you're willing to jeopardize everything they've planned out to keep yourself from feeling worthless? We know the manga won't pan out that way, but it still makes Naruto seem a little assholic. You're one person, they are an army of Zetsu and Madara, obviously BAMF evil villain. Logic says you won't have a chance, super saiyan mode or not. And if you fail, EVERYONE DIES or something horrible like that.
I don't like Naruto's idea to endure all the pain/hate on his own. >_> That's why you have friends, man. It makes sense with Sasuke's case (since everyone apparently doesn't care besides Naruto anymore), but not the war.
LOOK AT ME TRYING TO MAKE SENSE WITHOUT SLEEP.
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Gaara. I want him. Iwantsobad. But I know Kishi is going to fail at that, and then I will weep. Because fjdksafjkdsaf Gaara ;=; Mai darlin'