okay I don't think I understand all over this because I'm a) drunk and b) tired. BUT. FROM WHAT I DID GATHER, I agree with a lot of what you said.
This is slightly diverging but I feel I should add, (also sorry if I'm crude, but hey, drunk!) This is kinda translating to my issue at the moment. I'mmmmmm a pretty attractive female, that is ... pretty adventurous in bedrooms (won't give you TMI...) I make no secrets of it, so I tend to get invited to other couples beds... I turn it down most times, but the times I do accept is... I have to be sure both parties are interested in me, like really sure and I am interested in both back. Otherwise, oh jesus THE AWKWARD. But if its not, someone feels exactly like you said, a consolation prize, second class and kept around just because. The times that its balanced = holy shit, amazing.
Like, :FFF, my singular Poly relationship. They'd been going out for a year, and well, I started talking to Him and it was His interest first, but She was a little scared, and goddamn I tried, tried to coax her, but she realised she was uh, bi-romantic, but no bisexual. She didn't mind the cuddling and etc, but wasn't interested in anything else, which knocked everything way out of whack. Admittedly, I think we could of worked through it, but they turned out to be BATSHIT CRAZY, so that ended that.
Also because, pet hatred: Having a OPEN YET COMMITED RELATIONSHIP in which you are okay with your other messing around time to time but still returning to you IS NOT POLYGAMY. Hogod, so often, I cry.
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This is slightly diverging but I feel I should add, (also sorry if I'm crude, but hey, drunk!) This is kinda translating to my issue at the moment. I'mmmmmm a pretty attractive female, that is ... pretty adventurous in bedrooms (won't give you TMI...) I make no secrets of it, so I tend to get invited to other couples beds... I turn it down most times, but the times I do accept is... I have to be sure both parties are interested in me, like really sure and I am interested in both back. Otherwise, oh jesus THE AWKWARD. But if its not, someone feels exactly like you said, a consolation prize, second class and kept around just because. The times that its balanced = holy shit, amazing.
Like, :FFF, my singular Poly relationship. They'd been going out for a year, and well, I started talking to Him and it was His interest first, but She was a little scared, and goddamn I tried, tried to coax her, but she realised she was uh, bi-romantic, but no bisexual. She didn't mind the cuddling and etc, but wasn't interested in anything else, which knocked everything way out of whack.
Admittedly, I think we could of worked through it, but they turned out to be BATSHIT CRAZY, so that ended that.Also because, pet hatred: Having a OPEN YET COMMITED RELATIONSHIP in which you are okay with your other messing around time to time but still returning to you IS NOT POLYGAMY. Hogod, so often, I cry.