![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Avatar the Last Airbender ficlet
So this was comment!fic a century ago. Was too unbalanced to repost yet, though. I poked and proded it, and I'm still not sure it's up to par, but I can't figure out anything else to do with it, so here it is.
It's kind of inspired by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sadieko's And Then They Lived. XD ♥
Gaoling was pretty far from Ba Sing Se, all things considered, but seeing as Toph spent her time roaming the Earth continent from one end to another, only stopping in her hometown whenever she absolutely needed her clothes washed and her traveling supplies refurbished, the distance never seemed to matter much. So when Iroh noticed the lamps of the Jasmine Dragon dancing at the end of their tethers, he only smiled and put Toph's favorite tea to brew.
"Hey, old man!" she bellowed. A woman of eighteen now, Toph hadn't changed much. She'd been a short kid; she was now a short young woman, with muscles in places unbecoming of a lady. Her trail of admirers didn't seem to mind.
"Toph! A good day to you, my friend. What brings you to my humble tea shop?"
Toph grinned and swung a leg over the chair he'd pulled out for her, straddling it backward. Iroh handed her the cup with engraved flowers he kept especially for her, and her grin widened, became a little less mischievous and a little more genuinely happy. She trailed her fingers along the fine designs etched in the porcelain.
Then she drained the cup in one long gulp, put it back down with a decisive little thwack, and aimed a shark-hyena grin his way.
Iroh paled a little.
"See, it's because of things like that that you're just the perfect guy for this."
"Oh? And what could this ... 'this' be?"
"How old are you? I mean, pretty old, yeah, but how much?" And as Iroh was opening his mouth to answer -- though he wasn't sure why the exact number of his years was even relevant -- she ran roughshod right over him anyway. "No matter. The number doesn't matter. What I really want to know is..."
Iroh braced himself.
"Are you shooting blanks yet?"
The candles flared up and then did a weird little skip over their wicks that Iroh was pretty sure he couldn't have reproduced voluntarily.
"Because my dad's been badgering me to give the Bei Fong family a heir, and..."
Iroh put his cup of tea down very delicately and coughed in his fist. He would have tried to clean his ear, but Toph being Toph, he was quite sure he had heard her just fine, more's the pity.
"Beg your pardon?"
She started laughing; he almost relaxed -- he'd been pretty sure she was joking, but 'pretty sure' wasn't 'sure' -- but he could tell the other lovehippobird had yet to land.
"Purely a business proposal." She pretended to sober up -- not quite convincingly; a smirk kept floating at the corner of her lips. "There's that field with the awesome tea plants in my dowry. The... snapdragon things with the froofy leaves."
Iroh poured her more tea, and then filled himself another cup, just so he would have an excuse not to answer right away. He had to admit he would be ready to do a lot for a steady supply of snapdragon leaves. Just maybe not that.
"I do not think I fully understand your proposal."
"Come on, Gramps. You were old when Ba Sing Se was young. Don't tell me I have to explain the birds and the beetlebees to you."
He didn't bother answering, letting disapproving silence speak for him. Toph huffed.
"Aw, come ON, who else do you want me to ask? I don't want a guy who can't match me in combat, and Twinkletoes is already shacked up. If I wait until his next incarnation I'll be all dried out."
"Surely there are other people?" he suggested, vaguely panicked. "Ah -- younger people?"
"Who, like Sparky? Gloomy would sic her pokey friend on me and urk, never again. Also I'll have you know that I beat Sparky in combat last month, so he's not on the list anymore. Hah."
Iroh massaged his temples with both hands. "This old soldier is very flattered to be placed with the Avatar himself in your esteem, young Toph, but--"
"Well, you're badass. And I'm badass. But we're naturally badass! Aang cheats with his mystical stuff. So really if we take away his cheating, we're totally more badass than him. Think about the levels of awesome our kid would reach. We're talking epicness here!"
"Ah. And what if the child is a firebender?" he pointed out, knowing he was getting drawn in her game and yet so horribly fascinated that he could not cut it off here.
Toph shrugged. "I disown 'em and we try again."
Iroh stared at Toph.
Toph scratched her nose and stared back, sort of.
"... Did you know I will be in Gaoling for affairs next week?" He was sure she hadn't known. He hadn't know a minute ago, either. "I am sure I could pay your parents a visit and have a long talk about your readiness for marriage -- or, more appropriately, lack thereof."
Toph beamed at him and slapped his shoulder, rocking him forward. "You're the best, pops!"
Iroh sighed, and then smiled, in approval of a game well played. "Ahh, and to think there are people who believe you are much too direct to know how to bend people to your every whims. Asking me to straighten them up might have worked as well."
"Where's the fun in that?"
What she called fun, Iroh called blunt force trauma. He shook his head and consoled himself with the thought of her field of red snapdragons. Perhaps if he was especially convincing with her parents he might get a good price on shipments...
It was more likely they would be put out enough to hike the prices. But he was ready to make the sacrifice. If only for his peace of mind, so that he might bury this opening gambit somewhere and never think on it again.
"It is almost closing hour," he said with a sigh, and pushed himself up from the table to make his escape. "I will go and make arrangements with my employees."
"Sure thing. I'll wait here. This is good tea," she said as a peace offering, lifting her cup. "I can wait hours and days."
"This is good to hear." Iroh smiled, knowing she could hear it in his voice, and started to turn away.
"But you know," she said, trailing her finger on the table in a coy little pattern. "Our kids would totally be the bestest."
Iroh had the sudden, horrible premonition that, like the badgermoles she was so fond of, Toph was going to dig that bone back up for years to come.
It's kind of inspired by
sadieko's And Then They Lived. XD ♥Gaoling was pretty far from Ba Sing Se, all things considered, but seeing as Toph spent her time roaming the Earth continent from one end to another, only stopping in her hometown whenever she absolutely needed her clothes washed and her traveling supplies refurbished, the distance never seemed to matter much. So when Iroh noticed the lamps of the Jasmine Dragon dancing at the end of their tethers, he only smiled and put Toph's favorite tea to brew.
"Hey, old man!" she bellowed. A woman of eighteen now, Toph hadn't changed much. She'd been a short kid; she was now a short young woman, with muscles in places unbecoming of a lady. Her trail of admirers didn't seem to mind.
"Toph! A good day to you, my friend. What brings you to my humble tea shop?"
Toph grinned and swung a leg over the chair he'd pulled out for her, straddling it backward. Iroh handed her the cup with engraved flowers he kept especially for her, and her grin widened, became a little less mischievous and a little more genuinely happy. She trailed her fingers along the fine designs etched in the porcelain.
Then she drained the cup in one long gulp, put it back down with a decisive little thwack, and aimed a shark-hyena grin his way.
Iroh paled a little.
"See, it's because of things like that that you're just the perfect guy for this."
"Oh? And what could this ... 'this' be?"
"How old are you? I mean, pretty old, yeah, but how much?" And as Iroh was opening his mouth to answer -- though he wasn't sure why the exact number of his years was even relevant -- she ran roughshod right over him anyway. "No matter. The number doesn't matter. What I really want to know is..."
Iroh braced himself.
"Are you shooting blanks yet?"
The candles flared up and then did a weird little skip over their wicks that Iroh was pretty sure he couldn't have reproduced voluntarily.
"Because my dad's been badgering me to give the Bei Fong family a heir, and..."
Iroh put his cup of tea down very delicately and coughed in his fist. He would have tried to clean his ear, but Toph being Toph, he was quite sure he had heard her just fine, more's the pity.
"Beg your pardon?"
She started laughing; he almost relaxed -- he'd been pretty sure she was joking, but 'pretty sure' wasn't 'sure' -- but he could tell the other lovehippobird had yet to land.
"Purely a business proposal." She pretended to sober up -- not quite convincingly; a smirk kept floating at the corner of her lips. "There's that field with the awesome tea plants in my dowry. The... snapdragon things with the froofy leaves."
Iroh poured her more tea, and then filled himself another cup, just so he would have an excuse not to answer right away. He had to admit he would be ready to do a lot for a steady supply of snapdragon leaves. Just maybe not that.
"I do not think I fully understand your proposal."
"Come on, Gramps. You were old when Ba Sing Se was young. Don't tell me I have to explain the birds and the beetlebees to you."
He didn't bother answering, letting disapproving silence speak for him. Toph huffed.
"Aw, come ON, who else do you want me to ask? I don't want a guy who can't match me in combat, and Twinkletoes is already shacked up. If I wait until his next incarnation I'll be all dried out."
"Surely there are other people?" he suggested, vaguely panicked. "Ah -- younger people?"
"Who, like Sparky? Gloomy would sic her pokey friend on me and urk, never again. Also I'll have you know that I beat Sparky in combat last month, so he's not on the list anymore. Hah."
Iroh massaged his temples with both hands. "This old soldier is very flattered to be placed with the Avatar himself in your esteem, young Toph, but--"
"Well, you're badass. And I'm badass. But we're naturally badass! Aang cheats with his mystical stuff. So really if we take away his cheating, we're totally more badass than him. Think about the levels of awesome our kid would reach. We're talking epicness here!"
"Ah. And what if the child is a firebender?" he pointed out, knowing he was getting drawn in her game and yet so horribly fascinated that he could not cut it off here.
Toph shrugged. "I disown 'em and we try again."
Iroh stared at Toph.
Toph scratched her nose and stared back, sort of.
"... Did you know I will be in Gaoling for affairs next week?" He was sure she hadn't known. He hadn't know a minute ago, either. "I am sure I could pay your parents a visit and have a long talk about your readiness for marriage -- or, more appropriately, lack thereof."
Toph beamed at him and slapped his shoulder, rocking him forward. "You're the best, pops!"
Iroh sighed, and then smiled, in approval of a game well played. "Ahh, and to think there are people who believe you are much too direct to know how to bend people to your every whims. Asking me to straighten them up might have worked as well."
"Where's the fun in that?"
What she called fun, Iroh called blunt force trauma. He shook his head and consoled himself with the thought of her field of red snapdragons. Perhaps if he was especially convincing with her parents he might get a good price on shipments...
It was more likely they would be put out enough to hike the prices. But he was ready to make the sacrifice. If only for his peace of mind, so that he might bury this opening gambit somewhere and never think on it again.
"It is almost closing hour," he said with a sigh, and pushed himself up from the table to make his escape. "I will go and make arrangements with my employees."
"Sure thing. I'll wait here. This is good tea," she said as a peace offering, lifting her cup. "I can wait hours and days."
"This is good to hear." Iroh smiled, knowing she could hear it in his voice, and started to turn away.
"But you know," she said, trailing her finger on the table in a coy little pattern. "Our kids would totally be the bestest."
Iroh had the sudden, horrible premonition that, like the badgermoles she was so fond of, Toph was going to dig that bone back up for years to come.
no subject
The idea of Iroh and Toph... I mean, yes, Iroh is a badass, but he's so OLD. D8
Still! Awesome ficlet. :3 Toph was so very herself, I couldn't help but love it.
no subject
But seriously read
thank you, hon. ^___~
no subject
no subject
no subject
You should totally give it a try. It's not like everyone should love it or else!!! but I found it a pretty awesome show myself. There were some issues with the plot and stuff but the worldbuilding and characters are still amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7E-D1KvXxE = toph being funny about her blindness. if you want her kicking ass, there's a bazilion tributes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntbEjNyzVM8 => Iroh AMV. Badass old man is badass. *__*
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Love this story. Toph knows what Toph wants and she will get it... and your dancing boobie icon has hypnotized me. Forgot what I was going to say.
no subject
"Mom, Dad, I found someone I want to marry. He works in a teashop..."
And would continue in the order most likely to break their heads at least three times in a row. Lololol.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
*reads it again*
*laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughs*
no subject
no subject
no subject
Maybe if we found Iroh a mystical Source of the Young Man or something. >___> he's still very young inside in some ways!
no subject
no subject
ok got that out...
Haahahaaha...
heee...
poor poor Iroh, he just gave Toph the perfect blackmailin material.
no subject
Glad it amused you. u.u-b
no subject
Yes, that's Toph for you. ♥ This is fantastic. They are such awesome bad asses, it's so true. If the age gap weren't quite so huge, I really could be convinced to ship it.
no subject
That's my biggest dilemma. XD fortunately they're also awesome as platonic buddies.
no subject
but I am rendered speechless and incoherent with laughter. So I will just say EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! and leave it at that. :-D
no subject
I'd say I want to write Zuko's FACE when he hears it the first time, but sadieko already did it, and way better than I could have. "I REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND CRADDLE-ROBBING!" comes to mind. XD
*
*died*
*ressurected to read Sadieko's fic*
*died again.*
*Paces in Hell, tormenting Lucifer with squees, and cursing Asuka for breaking my brain*
Re: *
no subject
There was a one shot fic I saw ages ago. Toph was like, okay, time to loose the virginity, I pick Iroh for he is awesome and has practice. And Iroh has well a reaction like you did, and they make arrangements and she comes over. And he set up a room, with candles and pillows and no carpets.
He was like he was hardly going to make her blind to do this, but could she level out the ground? She does and he eyes her, and is like, old bones. She blushes, and does it again, making it more level and...
I WANT THAT FIC. ;-;
And this is awesome too.
no subject
♥
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
"Well, you're badass. And I'm badass. But we're naturally badass! Aang cheats with his mystical stuff. So really if we take away his cheating, we're totally more badass than him. Think about the levels of awesome our kid would reach. We're talking epicness here!"
Toph is made of win. ^-^