Sakura stomped out with her basket full of dirty laundry, leaving Naruto standing naked as the day he was born in the playful breeze coming from the open window.
Naruto quickly retreated to the most shadowy corner he could find, which wasn't very shadowy at all in that cheerful summer day. The problem there was that the drapes were currently drying on the lawn and going to lower the blinds meant exposing himself for a full two minutes as he twirled the crank thinger, and their neighbors had all gone to the Yamanaka school of gossip.
"SASUKE!" he yelled. No answer; but then again he didn't expect one before he yelled for the third time. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, YOU SELFISH BASTARD."
Sasuke thumped on the ceiling with, presumably, the handle of a broom or something. He'd been in the kitchen when the Sakura tornado hit. "What do you want? You're annoying."
"Get me clothes!"
Sasuke said something that was too quiet to be heard but that Naruto suspected had been "fuck that" or "yeah right" or something equally unhelpful.
"SASUKEEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOD SASUKE."
"WHAT."
"CLOTHES."
"NO."
"GET THE FUCK UP HERE WITH SOME CLOTHES OR I'LL HENGE INTO YOU AND SERENADE THE NEIGHBORS."
"FUCK YOU, NO."
"SASUKEEEEEEEEE."
There was a pointed, total lack of answer. Naruto fumed, naked in his corner.
Oh damn him, he'd asked for it. Naruto's hands joined into a seal. Two seconds later, a very naked Uchiha Sasuke was racing past the wide-open french doors and stomping down the stairs like an avalanche of small elephants.
"Hello! I'm Uchiha Sasuke and I'm a selfish, unhelpful bastard!" he sang as he raced down the corridor in Sasuke's own voice.
The living room was also empty of anything that could have been construed as clothes, including the couch pillows' pillowcases. The tablecloth was actually see-through plastic, to show off the wood. It might cut down on breeze-related shrinkage but Naruto couldn't put that on without showing the goods.
Granted, at the moment they were Sasuke's goods. He gave himself a little squeeze. Ehh. He was totally thicker, he didn't know what the asshole was on about.
"Take your hand off that and get away from the window right now," Sasuke's cold, cold voice ordered from the kitchen door.
Naruto blinked over his shoulder. Aha! There was the traitor. He stomped toward the kitchen, pretending he didn't feel his skin crawling from the no doubt dozens of binoculars the neighbors probably had pointed at his backside right now. "Gimme your shirt first! And I'll handle my junk if I want."
"Not when it's my junk," Sasuke snarled from some corner of the kitchen.
"I'll handle your junk if I want, too!" Naruto proclaimed, and then he stepped inside and realized it was gonna be a bit hard to shake him down for a shirt. Because Sasuke currently wasn't wearing any. Naruto could see cloth at his waist, but since he was at the other end of the table it was hard to see more.
"There's napkins in the closet," Sasuke growled. "Make yourself a skirt or something."
Naruto started snickering. "She got you too, huh?"
Sasuke let out a long, long sigh. "...Yes. Now close the door already."
Naruto did. The kitchen windows were frosted; he felt a lot safer there. He made his way to the cupboard and peered inside. Urgh. "Think if I make a kind of rope out of them I can make myself a fundoshi?" He'd seen a few drummers at the last festival with those traditional g-string things; maybe he could replicate that. Would be nice not to have his Little Naruto dangling in the breeze, though he wasn't too sure about the butt-rope.
Sasuke grimaced faintly. "So long as you burn those towels afterwards, yeah."
"Cool - oh, crap, they're all from Sakura's mom. Never mind then. I don't think she'd like if I made myself a nutsack sling outta her embroidered shit."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the mental picture. Will you stop looking like me already, it's disturbing."
Naruto sighed sadly, made the most horrible, ridiculous grimace he could think up - it involved his index fingers and his nostrils - and only then, let go of the henge, just in time to catch the oven mitt Sasuke had thrown at his head.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Sakura stomped out with her basket full of dirty laundry, leaving Naruto standing naked as the day he was born in the playful breeze coming from the open window.
Naruto quickly retreated to the most shadowy corner he could find, which wasn't very shadowy at all in that cheerful summer day. The problem there was that the drapes were currently drying on the lawn and going to lower the blinds meant exposing himself for a full two minutes as he twirled the crank thinger, and their neighbors had all gone to the Yamanaka school of gossip.
"SASUKE!" he yelled. No answer; but then again he didn't expect one before he yelled for the third time. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, YOU SELFISH BASTARD."
Sasuke thumped on the ceiling with, presumably, the handle of a broom or something. He'd been in the kitchen when the Sakura tornado hit. "What do you want? You're annoying."
"Get me clothes!"
Sasuke said something that was too quiet to be heard but that Naruto suspected had been "fuck that" or "yeah right" or something equally unhelpful.
"SASUKEEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOD SASUKE."
"WHAT."
"CLOTHES."
"NO."
"GET THE FUCK UP HERE WITH SOME CLOTHES OR I'LL HENGE INTO YOU AND SERENADE THE NEIGHBORS."
"FUCK YOU, NO."
"SASUKEEEEEEEEE."
There was a pointed, total lack of answer. Naruto fumed, naked in his corner.
Oh damn him, he'd asked for it. Naruto's hands joined into a seal. Two seconds later, a very naked Uchiha Sasuke was racing past the wide-open french doors and stomping down the stairs like an avalanche of small elephants.
"Hello! I'm Uchiha Sasuke and I'm a selfish, unhelpful bastard!" he sang as he raced down the corridor in Sasuke's own voice.
The living room was also empty of anything that could have been construed as clothes, including the couch pillows' pillowcases. The tablecloth was actually see-through plastic, to show off the wood. It might cut down on breeze-related shrinkage but Naruto couldn't put that on without showing the goods.
Granted, at the moment they were Sasuke's goods. He gave himself a little squeeze. Ehh. He was totally thicker, he didn't know what the asshole was on about.
"Take your hand off that and get away from the window right now," Sasuke's cold, cold voice ordered from the kitchen door.
Naruto blinked over his shoulder. Aha! There was the traitor. He stomped toward the kitchen, pretending he didn't feel his skin crawling from the no doubt dozens of binoculars the neighbors probably had pointed at his backside right now. "Gimme your shirt first! And I'll handle my junk if I want."
"Not when it's my junk," Sasuke snarled from some corner of the kitchen.
"I'll handle your junk if I want, too!" Naruto proclaimed, and then he stepped inside and realized it was gonna be a bit hard to shake him down for a shirt. Because Sasuke currently wasn't wearing any. Naruto could see cloth at his waist, but since he was at the other end of the table it was hard to see more.
"There's napkins in the closet," Sasuke growled. "Make yourself a skirt or something."
Naruto started snickering. "She got you too, huh?"
Sasuke let out a long, long sigh. "...Yes. Now close the door already."
Naruto did. The kitchen windows were frosted; he felt a lot safer there. He made his way to the cupboard and peered inside. Urgh. "Think if I make a kind of rope out of them I can make myself a fundoshi?" He'd seen a few drummers at the last festival with those traditional g-string things; maybe he could replicate that. Would be nice not to have his Little Naruto dangling in the breeze, though he wasn't too sure about the butt-rope.
Sasuke grimaced faintly. "So long as you burn those towels afterwards, yeah."
"Cool - oh, crap, they're all from Sakura's mom. Never mind then. I don't think she'd like if I made myself a nutsack sling outta her embroidered shit."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the mental picture. Will you stop looking like me already, it's disturbing."
Naruto sighed sadly, made the most horrible, ridiculous grimace he could think up - it involved his index fingers and his nostrils - and only then, let go of the henge, just in time to catch the oven mitt Sasuke had thrown at his head.