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Je suis une guerrière.
You are in a cheap little camping in Menton, last French town along the Mediterranee sea before Italy. The temperature is very warm and there is only the faintest hint of a breeze.
> Go to the pool
There is no pool. There is no shade either. Just so you know.
> Go to the beach
You get a sunburn. ( ITEM: sunburn x 1)
> Read e-books on Father-Dear's electronic agenda / pocket computerthing to distract self from sunburn. (mmmm iPAQ. ♥)
You would get the same "distraction" result from washing the dishes, hint hint, and also telling the inquisitive flies and intrigued bees that you're in the middle of the last evil mastermind battle does not actually chase them off. Also I want to play that card game, so hand over the iPAQ. So Sayeth The All-Father. ( ITEM: pile of dirty dishes x 1)
...it was time to go home for me -- my parents are staying another week, which means I'd have the house to myself for a week. I had a meeting-interview thing, which I might have been able to wriggle out of if I'd mentioned I would be out of town, but since I didn't actually want to be out of town too long I kind of forgot to explain that to my dearest father. >__>;; Because "One week of camping is okay, it's just enough time to go see what there is to sightsee and swim a couple of times in the sea, but FIFTEEN DAYS WOULD KILL ME WITH BOREDOM AND WOE I DO NOT LOVE THE OVERCROWDED BURNING-HOT BEACH THAT MUCH" is something he just doesn't get.
I'm kind of... twenty-eight now. I should be able to decide I want to spend a week with the apartment to myself and I won't die of hunger or buried under the dirty laundry that would mysteriously pile up if I were to be without adult supervision. Nrgh. -__-; (oh my god only two more years until the big thirty. I can't wrap my head around that. You'll ask my age and depending on the day I'll hesitate between 18 and 22. ... it's still plenty old enough to be allowed to do things on my own for fuck's sake. But that's how my father is. My younger brother Julien moved in with his girlfriend two years ago and Dad still tells him how to drive his car and shit.)
I'm pretty safe from the evil laundry anyway because it's so hot in here i'm going in my undies as often as I can get away with. Which is all the time except when Julien drops in. I'm sure you all wanted to know that. :3
... Why am I talking about that when I wanted to talk about my return trip. Anyway.
Sunday:
-9 AM: OMG YOU HAVEN'T PACKED YET ASUKA DAMN IT. WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING INSIDE YOUR TENT I ALREEADY JUST KNOW IT'S GOING TO TAKE HOURS. YOUR TRAIN IS AT FOUR THIRTY PM YOU WILL NEVER BE READY OMG.
-9.20: Here, I'm all packed. You were saying?
-10 AM: ... Well then let's go to the beach!
the sunburns on my sunburns still hurt. ... why not. I mean it's not like the beach will be even more busy on a sunday!
*it is. Gasp.*
-11 AM: let's look for a supermarket that's still open so I'll have dinner foods on the train! What do you mean most people don't work on sundays around here. WHAT ABOUT MY SANDWICHES ;___; -- aha! yay sandwiches. Salmon! :DDD
-5 PM: in the first train. THERMIC SHOCK. w-w-w-who stuck the AC on "south pole at night". *shiver shiver*
-6 PM: yay time to switch trains! Hello nice helpful train employee lady, can you please tell me where to lug my huge suitcase all up and down those not moving staircases? Why, thank you very much. :D
-6.30 PM: AAAAAA WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER DO NOT TELL ME THAT TRAIN BUTT DISAPPEARING IN THE DISTANCE IS MY TRAIN.
*she does.*
... shit shit and shit. I'll switch my ticket to the next train and then call my uncle who was supposed to pick me up because for some reason he doesn't like me to take buses at 11 at night. They're almost perfectly safe! (but, there's also something like one bus a hour at this time of evening, so yay anyway.)
-7 PM: ... I hate waiting in line HEY HELLO MISTER TRAIN EMPLOYEE I WOULD LIKE A what do you mean no more trains to Lyon until tomorrow morning.
-7 to 7.10 *very small and minor and totally controlled panic.*
You see, teh asuka does not carry a cell phone. And it turns out her phone booth card is outdated! and she cannot use her credit card for more monies and has to deal with what she already has in teh pocket! Some of which goes to buying another phone card. Turns out both Uncle and Father have their cell-phones turned off anyway so that's half the credit on that card gone for jack shit right from the start and no helpful advice to show for it. ahahaha. aaaaaaa. Asuka you are a big girl, no panic allowed. Nevermind that you have never been in Nice (pronounced niss >.>) and know no one there and couldn't contact them even if you did.
-7.30 : trek through the WAY TOO HOT streets, dragging luggage, trying to find a cheap hotel. And then a less cheap hotel. Cheap or not they're all full. Aaaaaaaaa.
Also I realize once it's way too late to go back that I totally forgot the bag of yummy unopened sandwiches at the train station. Hell shit fuck. T__T
-8 PM : is that another hotel, right there by that... ... sex shop...? D: *tiptoes up the narrow unlit stairs*
*the common room phone has a "out of service" sheet of paper taped to it. The tape is yellow with age.*
*The manager greets me in nothing but old soccer shorts and beach shoes. He has a most splendidly furry beer belly.*
Umm yes I was looking for a single room --
Well then you're outta luck!
oh hell not again. T__T
But actually I have something cheaper you're gonna love!
... D: um. ... and that is?
A co-ed dormitory! Great for making friends when adventuring in towns you know nothing about. One of them's a 19 year old guy and the other two are a couple! But I'm sure they'll be quiet. Unless you want them not to be. Har har har. *insert jokes about threesomes that somehow slide onto talking about gay bars*
...yeah. haha. umm okay let me think.
*The lock is shitty. It smells a bit weird in the corridor. The bathroom is unbelievably tiny and there's a full length window just in front of the shower/toilet and the door doesn't lock right. But the bed is miraculously clean! PARADISE.*
-8.30: *drags self back to train station to get tomorrow's tickets and call parental units* *manages to be all sunny and reassuring and OH WOW LOOK AT THAT MY PHONE CARD IS ALMOST EMPTY SORRY DAD I CANNOT LISTEN TO HOW MUCH I AND THE TRAIN COMPANY FAILED TODAY :D*
-9 PM: *bored* *also still full of nervous energy and that faint surprise that I actually managed to find a place to spend the night and have not been murdered yet.* *... goes exploring strange town that I do not know and have no maps for*
It's extremely strange. I'm the most routine-clinging person I know IRL. I don't like to be dragged out of the house by friends unless I have at least a week's warning to get used to the idea. I never get lost in Lyon but that's because I tend to only use streets I used before and I went to college there. And here I was, leaving my luggage (mostly dirty clothes and books i've read a hundred times, granted) in a shitty hotel in some small backstreet I might nevarrr!! find again, when night was already falling!
And then I went and blew some of my very small amount of cash left at a movie theater.
There was a choice between some romantic comedy shit that I didn't even register the name or content of, a horror flick, the latest Pixar movie with the house and the balloons and the old guy which I've heard tons of awesome thing about, and G.I. Joes.
So in the end it was a choice between great plot and great animation and moving story that would make me cry, and plot to mock + guaranteed annoying stereotypes + a shitload of ridiculous fight scenes and explosions.
I went to see GI Joes.
They killed the Eiffel tower, those bastards. But man I was laughing all along, even if sometimes it was of the "I cannot believe they forgot they couldn't have a DRAMATIC slow-mo rock slide with the remnants of that ice field on this poor, DOOMED underwater base because ICE IS WHAT ICEBERGS ARE MADE OF" variety. I would have understood if they'd called the base "titanic 2" or something. Maybe the weight of destiny would have helped the ice totally violate the laws of nature in order to fulfill that tragic rendez-vous~
I could rant for days about how ridiculous that movie was, from the plot to the character concepts and backstories to the stereotypes and science fail and cliche galores, but the fact of the matter is that I spent two hours grinning from ear to ear. ♥
-11 PM: McDonalds'. With the money I have left, I can't afford anything else, not and still have money for the bus home tomorrow. ... Assuming I don't miss my train AGAIN. I mourn my salmon club sandwiches. Those evil monsters at the train station destroy all and any food they find for sanitary reasons. They were pre-packaged! I hope some hobo found them first and had a good meal at least, because otherwise what a waste. *still mourning them a little even now ;_;*
-11.30 : oh hey mysterious male roommate with whom I am to share a smallish bedroom, how do you do -- oh, you're ... deustch. or. something. And you don't speak a word of french...
... And you're a socially handicapped recluse who can barely glance away from his laptop for fear of having to look a real person in the eye! MY PEOPLE. ^o^
We then proceed to have the most rewarding conversation EVER.
Me: *wriggling between the back of his chair and the bed to reach the bathroom* -- is that hotmail are you online.
Him: -- um. jeu neu parleu pa --
Me: internet?
Him: ...
... :) Wifi.
Me: BOOYAH. *throws self at dad's iPAQ*
We spent a most rewarding couple of hours totally ignoring each other as we ruthlessly tapped into some other hotel's wide-open Wifi access.
1 AM: bedtime. There's no AC and the layout of the building means either we leave the windows and blinds open, or we slowly cook alive in our sleep. There are restaurants and night-clubs in that street which are noisy as fuck.
It's so hot the sheets cling to my skin. I also have to admit that it's a little weird to have a strange guy shirtless in my bedroom.
I have no sleep wear. Just a short t-shirt and panties. I wrap myself in the sheet, because our beds are on opposite sides of the room, and if I don't, the first thing he'll see if he glances anywhere but toward his headboard is my ample ass.
2 AM: Still awake. fuck modesty, I'm melting. Fuck you, sheets, stop gluing yourselves to my skin. On the floor you go. Fuck you, limbs, making me warmer when I curl up. Starfish time! Oh, let him look if he wakes up. I'm just that hot. ... sadly not in the irresistable sense. In the "I have sweated out two litres of water on those sheets and it's not over yet."
3 AM: either the garbage truck is picking up something in the street that's trying to fight back, or one of the cars just went Transformers style and is busy stomping some other car down flat with grisly, wanton cruelty. I have no idea. The second one sounds more likely. I fall back asleep as I envision Wing Zero touching down in the street and administering a most satisfying beatdown.
4 AM: some guys are having an argument in Spanish. Oh hey I remember more of my high school lessons than I thought. Not enough to really understand more than a word here and there ... are they brothers and having a family explosion or breaking up? ... I decide both. Yeah.
5 AM: someone is walking up and down the hotel corridor. Quietly. After the noise from the street I think the furtive movements are what make me jump awake with "is someone touching the door lock" thoughts.
6 AM: ... might as well get up. ... hahaha i'm not even tired ;DDDD woohoo. train tiems train tiems nananaaaaa.
7 AM: I find the right train! DAMN IT DON'T CRANK THE AC UP SO HIGH. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M DRESSED FOR HIMALAYA WEATHER. It doesn't help the ebook I'm reading currently has them fighting through five feet of snow. Brr.
10 AM: I find the second train! Then I read some more ebooks.
At noon I was in Lyon, exhausted but still in strangely high spirits. I decided I might as well stay there instead of trying to go back home to eat and then race back for my 2 PM meeting thing. It was even hotter than down there at the camping, and by the time I got done dragging my luggage to the meeting I had blisters on my blisters and a rash in an unmentionable place, courtesy of my awesome!! new pants. You also wanted to know that, don't lie.
So the meeting was totally anticlimatic, and then I went home, locked the door behind me, checked that the blinds were all closed, and then I stripped on the spot and oozed to the bathtub where I comatosed for the rest of the day.
Two days later I'm still not caught up with most of anything and I still have that goddamn rash.
But my middle-brother and his girlfriend invited me over for birthday foods and mmmmm it was nummy and we had so much fun. And salmon. We had salmon. Well, mostly me. Oh god Julien you are my favorite brother from now on. Forever and ever. And my dearest father doesn't need to hear anything about my adventures except the fact that I found a cheap hotel room on my own and proceeded to take the next day's train with no further incidents.
> Go to the pool
There is no pool. There is no shade either. Just so you know.
> Go to the beach
You get a sunburn. ( ITEM: sunburn x 1)
> Read e-books on Father-Dear's electronic agenda / pocket computerthing to distract self from sunburn. (mmmm iPAQ. ♥)
You would get the same "distraction" result from washing the dishes, hint hint, and also telling the inquisitive flies and intrigued bees that you're in the middle of the last evil mastermind battle does not actually chase them off. Also I want to play that card game, so hand over the iPAQ. So Sayeth The All-Father. ( ITEM: pile of dirty dishes x 1)
...it was time to go home for me -- my parents are staying another week, which means I'd have the house to myself for a week. I had a meeting-interview thing, which I might have been able to wriggle out of if I'd mentioned I would be out of town, but since I didn't actually want to be out of town too long I kind of forgot to explain that to my dearest father. >__>;; Because "One week of camping is okay, it's just enough time to go see what there is to sightsee and swim a couple of times in the sea, but FIFTEEN DAYS WOULD KILL ME WITH BOREDOM AND WOE I DO NOT LOVE THE OVERCROWDED BURNING-HOT BEACH THAT MUCH" is something he just doesn't get.
I'm kind of... twenty-eight now. I should be able to decide I want to spend a week with the apartment to myself and I won't die of hunger or buried under the dirty laundry that would mysteriously pile up if I were to be without adult supervision. Nrgh. -__-; (oh my god only two more years until the big thirty. I can't wrap my head around that. You'll ask my age and depending on the day I'll hesitate between 18 and 22. ... it's still plenty old enough to be allowed to do things on my own for fuck's sake. But that's how my father is. My younger brother Julien moved in with his girlfriend two years ago and Dad still tells him how to drive his car and shit.)
I'm pretty safe from the evil laundry anyway because it's so hot in here i'm going in my undies as often as I can get away with. Which is all the time except when Julien drops in. I'm sure you all wanted to know that. :3
... Why am I talking about that when I wanted to talk about my return trip. Anyway.
Sunday:
-9 AM: OMG YOU HAVEN'T PACKED YET ASUKA DAMN IT. WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING INSIDE YOUR TENT I ALREEADY JUST KNOW IT'S GOING TO TAKE HOURS. YOUR TRAIN IS AT FOUR THIRTY PM YOU WILL NEVER BE READY OMG.
-9.20: Here, I'm all packed. You were saying?
-10 AM: ... Well then let's go to the beach!
the sunburns on my sunburns still hurt. ... why not. I mean it's not like the beach will be even more busy on a sunday!
*it is. Gasp.*
-11 AM: let's look for a supermarket that's still open so I'll have dinner foods on the train! What do you mean most people don't work on sundays around here. WHAT ABOUT MY SANDWICHES ;___; -- aha! yay sandwiches. Salmon! :DDD
-5 PM: in the first train. THERMIC SHOCK. w-w-w-who stuck the AC on "south pole at night". *shiver shiver*
-6 PM: yay time to switch trains! Hello nice helpful train employee lady, can you please tell me where to lug my huge suitcase all up and down those not moving staircases? Why, thank you very much. :D
-6.30 PM: AAAAAA WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER DO NOT TELL ME THAT TRAIN BUTT DISAPPEARING IN THE DISTANCE IS MY TRAIN.
*she does.*
... shit shit and shit. I'll switch my ticket to the next train and then call my uncle who was supposed to pick me up because for some reason he doesn't like me to take buses at 11 at night. They're almost perfectly safe! (but, there's also something like one bus a hour at this time of evening, so yay anyway.)
-7 PM: ... I hate waiting in line HEY HELLO MISTER TRAIN EMPLOYEE I WOULD LIKE A what do you mean no more trains to Lyon until tomorrow morning.
-7 to 7.10 *very small and minor and totally controlled panic.*
You see, teh asuka does not carry a cell phone. And it turns out her phone booth card is outdated! and she cannot use her credit card for more monies and has to deal with what she already has in teh pocket! Some of which goes to buying another phone card. Turns out both Uncle and Father have their cell-phones turned off anyway so that's half the credit on that card gone for jack shit right from the start and no helpful advice to show for it. ahahaha. aaaaaaa. Asuka you are a big girl, no panic allowed. Nevermind that you have never been in Nice (pronounced niss >.>) and know no one there and couldn't contact them even if you did.
-7.30 : trek through the WAY TOO HOT streets, dragging luggage, trying to find a cheap hotel. And then a less cheap hotel. Cheap or not they're all full. Aaaaaaaaa.
Also I realize once it's way too late to go back that I totally forgot the bag of yummy unopened sandwiches at the train station. Hell shit fuck. T__T
-8 PM : is that another hotel, right there by that... ... sex shop...? D: *tiptoes up the narrow unlit stairs*
*the common room phone has a "out of service" sheet of paper taped to it. The tape is yellow with age.*
*The manager greets me in nothing but old soccer shorts and beach shoes. He has a most splendidly furry beer belly.*
Umm yes I was looking for a single room --
Well then you're outta luck!
oh hell not again. T__T
But actually I have something cheaper you're gonna love!
... D: um. ... and that is?
A co-ed dormitory! Great for making friends when adventuring in towns you know nothing about. One of them's a 19 year old guy and the other two are a couple! But I'm sure they'll be quiet. Unless you want them not to be. Har har har. *insert jokes about threesomes that somehow slide onto talking about gay bars*
...yeah. haha. umm okay let me think.
this guy is the sleaziest sleaze who ever sleezed and coed dormitory doesn't bother me half as much as the fact we've got one key for four strangers and if I get my wallet or my father's iPAQ stolen I will be in such deep shit I do not have words for it.Alright! :D gimme key now now now i need to put away that luggage augh.
but it's like boiling hot in the streets.
it's boiling hot in here too!
There is nowhere else.
... well yes, there is that. But the wallpaper is peeling and there's no AC and I think if I ask to see the room first he'll kick me out--
He has funny goldfish!
-___-;; Okay, okay, let's trust. But only because it's cheaper and my feet are killing me.
*The lock is shitty. It smells a bit weird in the corridor. The bathroom is unbelievably tiny and there's a full length window just in front of the shower/toilet and the door doesn't lock right. But the bed is miraculously clean! PARADISE.*
-8.30: *drags self back to train station to get tomorrow's tickets and call parental units* *manages to be all sunny and reassuring and OH WOW LOOK AT THAT MY PHONE CARD IS ALMOST EMPTY SORRY DAD I CANNOT LISTEN TO HOW MUCH I AND THE TRAIN COMPANY FAILED TODAY :D*
-9 PM: *bored* *also still full of nervous energy and that faint surprise that I actually managed to find a place to spend the night and have not been murdered yet.* *... goes exploring strange town that I do not know and have no maps for*
It's extremely strange. I'm the most routine-clinging person I know IRL. I don't like to be dragged out of the house by friends unless I have at least a week's warning to get used to the idea. I never get lost in Lyon but that's because I tend to only use streets I used before and I went to college there. And here I was, leaving my luggage (mostly dirty clothes and books i've read a hundred times, granted) in a shitty hotel in some small backstreet I might nevarrr!! find again, when night was already falling!
And then I went and blew some of my very small amount of cash left at a movie theater.
There was a choice between some romantic comedy shit that I didn't even register the name or content of, a horror flick, the latest Pixar movie with the house and the balloons and the old guy which I've heard tons of awesome thing about, and G.I. Joes.
So in the end it was a choice between great plot and great animation and moving story that would make me cry, and plot to mock + guaranteed annoying stereotypes + a shitload of ridiculous fight scenes and explosions.
I went to see GI Joes.
They killed the Eiffel tower, those bastards. But man I was laughing all along, even if sometimes it was of the "I cannot believe they forgot they couldn't have a DRAMATIC slow-mo rock slide with the remnants of that ice field on this poor, DOOMED underwater base because ICE IS WHAT ICEBERGS ARE MADE OF" variety. I would have understood if they'd called the base "titanic 2" or something. Maybe the weight of destiny would have helped the ice totally violate the laws of nature in order to fulfill that tragic rendez-vous~
I could rant for days about how ridiculous that movie was, from the plot to the character concepts and backstories to the stereotypes and science fail and cliche galores, but the fact of the matter is that I spent two hours grinning from ear to ear. ♥
-11 PM: McDonalds'. With the money I have left, I can't afford anything else, not and still have money for the bus home tomorrow. ... Assuming I don't miss my train AGAIN. I mourn my salmon club sandwiches. Those evil monsters at the train station destroy all and any food they find for sanitary reasons. They were pre-packaged! I hope some hobo found them first and had a good meal at least, because otherwise what a waste. *still mourning them a little even now ;_;*
-11.30 : oh hey mysterious male roommate with whom I am to share a smallish bedroom, how do you do -- oh, you're ... deustch. or. something. And you don't speak a word of french...
... And you're a socially handicapped recluse who can barely glance away from his laptop for fear of having to look a real person in the eye! MY PEOPLE. ^o^
We then proceed to have the most rewarding conversation EVER.
Me: *wriggling between the back of his chair and the bed to reach the bathroom* -- is that hotmail are you online.
Him: -- um. jeu neu parleu pa --
Me: internet?
Him: ...
... :) Wifi.
Me: BOOYAH. *throws self at dad's iPAQ*
We spent a most rewarding couple of hours totally ignoring each other as we ruthlessly tapped into some other hotel's wide-open Wifi access.
1 AM: bedtime. There's no AC and the layout of the building means either we leave the windows and blinds open, or we slowly cook alive in our sleep. There are restaurants and night-clubs in that street which are noisy as fuck.
It's so hot the sheets cling to my skin. I also have to admit that it's a little weird to have a strange guy shirtless in my bedroom.
I have no sleep wear. Just a short t-shirt and panties. I wrap myself in the sheet, because our beds are on opposite sides of the room, and if I don't, the first thing he'll see if he glances anywhere but toward his headboard is my ample ass.
2 AM: Still awake. fuck modesty, I'm melting. Fuck you, sheets, stop gluing yourselves to my skin. On the floor you go. Fuck you, limbs, making me warmer when I curl up. Starfish time! Oh, let him look if he wakes up. I'm just that hot. ... sadly not in the irresistable sense. In the "I have sweated out two litres of water on those sheets and it's not over yet."
3 AM: either the garbage truck is picking up something in the street that's trying to fight back, or one of the cars just went Transformers style and is busy stomping some other car down flat with grisly, wanton cruelty. I have no idea. The second one sounds more likely. I fall back asleep as I envision Wing Zero touching down in the street and administering a most satisfying beatdown.
4 AM: some guys are having an argument in Spanish. Oh hey I remember more of my high school lessons than I thought. Not enough to really understand more than a word here and there ... are they brothers and having a family explosion or breaking up? ... I decide both. Yeah.
5 AM: someone is walking up and down the hotel corridor. Quietly. After the noise from the street I think the furtive movements are what make me jump awake with "is someone touching the door lock" thoughts.
6 AM: ... might as well get up. ... hahaha i'm not even tired ;DDDD woohoo. train tiems train tiems nananaaaaa.
7 AM: I find the right train! DAMN IT DON'T CRANK THE AC UP SO HIGH. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M DRESSED FOR HIMALAYA WEATHER. It doesn't help the ebook I'm reading currently has them fighting through five feet of snow. Brr.
10 AM: I find the second train! Then I read some more ebooks.
At noon I was in Lyon, exhausted but still in strangely high spirits. I decided I might as well stay there instead of trying to go back home to eat and then race back for my 2 PM meeting thing. It was even hotter than down there at the camping, and by the time I got done dragging my luggage to the meeting I had blisters on my blisters and a rash in an unmentionable place, courtesy of my awesome!! new pants. You also wanted to know that, don't lie.
So the meeting was totally anticlimatic, and then I went home, locked the door behind me, checked that the blinds were all closed, and then I stripped on the spot and oozed to the bathtub where I comatosed for the rest of the day.
Two days later I'm still not caught up with most of anything and I still have that goddamn rash.
But my middle-brother and his girlfriend invited me over for birthday foods and mmmmm it was nummy and we had so much fun. And salmon. We had salmon. Well, mostly me. Oh god Julien you are my favorite brother from now on. Forever and ever. And my dearest father doesn't need to hear anything about my adventures except the fact that I found a cheap hotel room on my own and proceeded to take the next day's train with no further incidents.
no subject
I have a kind of personal ew toward cellphones, which is why I don't have one, but I'm slowly being forced to admit that it would come in handy sometimes.
It's smoked salmon slices, cut into little bits, with crunchy vegetables. Not raw fish. XDD There's sandwiches with surimi bits too. Mmmmm.
no subject
That sounds very tasty. I was imagining something like a salmon fillet, or maybe a McDonald's fish sandwich only made with salmon instead of generic white fish, but smoked salmon is lovely. (Unless it is chopped up and mixed into cream cheese. Then it's just sad.) *mourns your lost sandwiches with you*