askerian | at school AGAIN.

Current Mood: boooooooored

at school AGAIN.

i really need to vary these entries. I mean WTF, i'm probably going to be put on the computer for the last two or three weeks of the school thingie. At least i have free afternoons today and tomorrow. But still. God SO BORED. And Alex isn't even here so I can snark at him. *sigh*

(farid isn't here either, which is a blessing. I guess Sandra is still in bed with a bad back ache -- something that worries us because she's barely 18, and she's already getting bad pains in the lower back and no one can tell what it is. She's not even slightly overweight, so that can't be it, and she definitely doesn't have the same kind of back aches i get from having way too huge breasts. Hnnn. *worryworry*)

I have taken fics with me, but it's hard to concentrate (especially with teacher just behind me) and I'm not feeling any scene with great intensity, which means i'll probably add a few lines here and there, but that's it. If anyone has funny sites, or pics to share (WORKSAFE ONLY PLZ), i'll really love you if you send them to me. I'm not allowed to play games or use IM programs. LJ is already pushing it. :'(

if you want to ask fic questions or even just shoot the breeze, I'm here for two hours and a half, so LOVE ME. ;__;

(oh, and i'm still seeking the perfectest itasasu icon, so...)

edit: WHEE TIME TO GO HOME YAY. *runs off*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe she should go see a chiropractor.

It's not that kind of pain -- or if it is, we don't know it yet. She had a -- argh what's the word. kyst? cyst! well she had one a few years ago, and it might be that -- anyway, she can barely move, but it's not a sharp pain, more like a constant throb or something. And the doctors say they're not finding anything wrong, fuckers. XP

anyway. ENTERTAIN ME. the end of that sand fic would do nicely. ^-^

But that might not be worksafe.

Hm, well. I'll see what I can do. I feel like doing the after-conversation anyway...

if it's writings, it's okay. no one here speaks good enough english to get it, and my teacher, who might, promised not to read my LJ. ^_^ so it's okay, really.

NOW GIMME.

"Geez, sorry." Ed waved the apology aside impatiently. "Fine, call it a matter of survival. If you don't clean up, I'll kill you myself."

I stared steadily at him, until he began to fidget; however, he showed no signs of backing down. "Fine."

With only one arm, and that not working all that well, I was humiliatingly unable to care for myself. Ed pushed his way in without asking, grabbed the washcloth, and briskly scrubbed my back for me. Glares and judicious threats did nothing to sway him, or drive him away.

Keeping my body from reacting in an all too obvious way was an entirely new kind of penance.

The wind was picking up, towards evening, peeling the tops and sides of the dunes to the east and carrying them away, in twisting towers and spirals of sand. Here, fortunately, the wind kept down to a stiff breeze that quickly dried my skin and hair. It did feel good to be clean; one more step towards feeling human again.

A long, slow road.

Edward came out and plopped down beside me, hair unbound, raking the fingers of his human hand through it in an effort to get the water out. "Man, I'd kill for a bar of soap," he grumbled, and shook his head. Drops of water went flying, hit the ground and were immediately swallowed.

I looked at him and for the first time it was like a switch was turned, and it was no longer the Fullmetal Alchemist that I saw. The image of him before had always been of the State Alchemist, enemy and victim; and then the image of Alphonse Elric's older brother, shadows and shades of my own. My own brother, whom I had loved and hated and admired and despised, who was something crazy, but never wrong.

This would be the first time I had ever looked at him and seen nothing but a teenaged boy, all the affectations of adulthood which only served to cover up the frightening insecurity of adolescence underneath.

He shook his hair out again, and bent forward to redo the plait. The sight of him seared my eyes, and I had to look back to the sunset.

"You keep doing that," Edward grumbled, looking up at me from under his bangs.

"What?"

"I've seen you look right into the sun and not even flinch," Edward complained, straightening up again as he pulled the plait over his shoulder. "But for some reason, every time you look at me you squint like you need sunglasses."

ooooh. descriptions of the desert = LOVE. I really like the POV too, weirdly. the tone is just right for that stoic fanatic guy X3 but AHHHH WHY DID YOU STOP HERE. more. moooore.

"I've seen you look right into the sun and not even flinch," Edward complained, straightening up again as he pulled the plait over his shoulder. "But for some reason, every time you look at me you squint like you need sunglasses."

"Mm." It was strange, really; in the rainy West I had worn glasses to hide my eyes from prying eyes. Here in the desert, where the sun was strongest, I had no need of them at all.

Except for Edward. For some reason, the light of him blinded me.

I woke in the dead of night to a weight on my chest and a hot mouth over my own. I opened my lips to gasp, and Edward apparently took that as an invitation; his tongue slipped into my mouth and stroked along the underside of my palate. The touch sent tingles racing through my body, down my spine.

Startled, I tried to move, to sit up and push him off me; but he had leverage and strength and I had neither. Sometime before my wakening he had shed his pants, the last of the clothes left between us, and every inch of his skin against mine was glowing heat.

I had not much experience with kissing. Edward took the lead, drawing downa nd following an abortive move to pull away; he knew how to do things with his lips and tingue that I couldn't have imagined. His hands swept over my chest, searching. The touch roused me, in more ways than one; I freed my hand from where it had lain trapped between our bodies, and grabbed his wrist as his metal hand reached for me.

I still could not feel much through the fingers of that hand. It was hard to say which, metal or flesh, was the more artifical limb, but it served me, and I resisted his pull. After several seconds, he shifted his weight and rose up above me, hair hanging down in a tangled curtain, obscuring his face in the moonlight.

"Why'd you do that?" he whispered, tugging against my grip. "Are you saying you don't want this?"

I held my tongue. There was no right answer. "No" would be a blatant lie, considering the fire still dancing in my mouth and my groin; but "yes" would be unforgiveable.

Ed grinned. I saw the flash of moonlight off his canines. "There's nobody else here but us," he said quietly. "And after all that's happened, what's one more sin?"

....and. uh. either I cut most of the smut short here and leave the rest vague, or I take a time out to search for smutty inspiration. >.>;

*o* HAWT. damn you, woman, you make scarxed hot!!! XPPPP (tho right now it's more the other way around. heh. go ed!!!)

... cut it short now so i get more fic right now, then come back later to add smut in. XD

Hai, hai. :D

*waits* ^^

When he came, he shouted his brother's name in my ear.

"Look, I already apologized. Stop being mad."

I didn't turn around. "Go back to sleep, Fullmetal."

A growl, and a thump like a fist striking stone. "Oh, so now I'm 'Fullmetal,' am I?"

"I'm not Alphonse."

No, I wasn't Alphonse. And he wasn't my brother. But that did not make what we had just done one whit less shameful.

I was more angry at myself than at him. For my weakness. For my desires. Edward was a teenager, confused and lonely and hormonal; I was not any of those things.

I was not most of those things.

I wasn't hormonal, at least. I should have known better than to give in to temptation, give Edward what he thought he wanted. It wasn't me; I knew it wasn't me. Bad enough to give in to debauchery, knowing that neither of our hearts were here.

"I know that! Geez! It's not what you're thinking, okay? I don't want to fuck Alphonse."

"Shut up." I didn't want to hear it. "Go back to sleep."

"Like hell. Just listen to me, will you? I don't want to have sex with Alphonse. He's my own brother, for God's sake. And besides that, he was like... he was twelve when I last saw him -- really saw him, I mean. I know I'm messed up, but I'm not that sick, okay?"

I stared up at the moonlight, and didn't answer.

"I'm serious." Edward swore with frustration, then sighed. "I wasn't imagining that I was doing stuff with him. All right? I was just... thinking abut him."

I turned my head. "Thinking about him."

"Yeah." I could see him out of the corner of my eye; he frowned, and wrapped his arms over his chest.

"You think about your brother during sex."

He stared at the ground; his voice, when it came, was surprisingly soft. "I think about him during everything."

It was my turn to stare. He ran his hand through his hair, then clenched his fingers in the strand. "I think about him day and night. Worrying about him. Wondering where he is. Wanting him back here. I can't stop it. I try to think of other things, but it just never goes away. I have to think about other things or I'll go crazy. But I still -- can't -- stop."

wahhhhh *sobsobsob* ;__; *cuddlepets ed*

haha, scar is acting like a woman. XD

Dude, what would you do if you were banging a guy and he yelled his sister's name? o_o;

*giggle*

It was my turn to stare. He ran his hand through his hair, then clenched his fingers in the strands. "I think about him day and night. Worrying about him. Wondering where he is. Wanting him back here. I can't stop it. I try to think of other things, but it just never goes away. I have to think about other things or I'll go crazy. But I still -- can't -- stop."

Being a distraction was not all that great a promotion from being a substitute, but Edward's misery was palpable. "Go to sleep, Edward."

Ed gave a shaky, unsteady laugh. "Oh, so now I'm Edward again?"

His words were flippant but his tone was wretched. With a small sigh, I levered myself up again and returned to the cave. My shadow filled the entrance, blocking off the rest of the light; I could only pick out Edward by his own glow. I sat on the end of the mattress, legs folded under me, and reached out to touch his hair. "Go to sleep."

"I should have known better than to try and get any sense out of you. It's like talking to a parrakeet." He crawled forward, dragging the blanket with him. "Fine. I'll beat a better answer out of you in the morning, then."

He pillowed his head on his thigh, and closed his eyes. When his breathing had evened and slowed, I put my hand on his head and stroked his hair.

The last time I had put my hand on his hair, it was soaked from the rain, and the air was full of screams and bood and gunpowder. I had killed five men that day already and Edward was just another name on my list.

His eyes were the first that had held mine, unafraid, as death came for him, but that would not have stopped me, back then. I could have killed him in an instant, then, if not for the pleas and cries of his brother in the background, begging him to run and save himself, begging for his life. Begging for his older brother to be saved.

You saved me...

Edward slept. I did not. I watched the sky creep towards dawn, and searched the horizon for a smudge of red.

wahhh ;_;

is that the end? NOOO they have to get al back!!!! ;_;

... equivalent trade. ...I am scared.

Nope, there's more coming. Scar has to come clean. :D

When Edward woke, it was hard to tell which he missed first: my presence, or the Stone.

Either way, he gave a shout and a moment later came scrambling out of the entrance to the cave, hair and eyes wild and his pants still not on. He looked thoroughly dishevelled, not that I was in any mood to enjoy the view.

Edward stopped short when he saw me, facing the sunrise and holding the Stone in my hand. I could feel it, barely; slightly warm and far too slick to be natural stone, more like oiled steel than glass. It didn't matter. I had known the moment I touched it, known what I had suspected all along; what Edward, too, must know, even as he fiercely denied it with all of his strength of will.

"I intended to die in Lior."

That stopped Edward in his tracks. I didn't look up, keeping my eyes on the center of the Stone.

"My brother had sealed his power into his own body, and then into mine. The array would have used that body as a focus, and the Stone would have crystallized inside my heart."

Edward's mouth dropped open, and he took a step forward. "But," he said, in a strangled tone, "that didn't happen -- I mean, obviously it didn't. You, you didn't die."

"I did."

"But --" A sharply indrawn breath "Then that means -- you must have seen -- the Gate?"

"Is that how you see it?" I glanced up at him, bemused, then back down. "If that's your word for it... then yes. I did pass through those doors. I died and I would have remained dead if Alphonse had not intervened."

"Al?" Ed whispered. "How?"

"The Crimson Alchemist had transmuted the metal of his body into a bomb," I said. "He told me that the only way to save him was to transmute his body into something else.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. MOREMOREMORE

eee nekkid ed. X3

%^@(^&!@*(&!@

Stupid computer rebooted out of nowhere. Thankgod I'd been posting here and can recover all of this section. ;_;

"Al?" Ed whispered. "How?"

"The Crimson Alchemist had transmuted the metal of his body into a bomb," I said. "He told me that the only way to save him was to transmute his body into something else.

"As I told you before, I am not an alchemist. And by this time the soldiers were already moving into the city, fully willing to kill anyone and anything that crossed their path. I did the only thing I could do. I prepared the only transmutation I knew how. I sealed my arm into his body; I made him into the focus of the Array."

I looked up at last, at the end of this. Edward was pale, his eyes terrible and terrified. I thought he might kill me then, just to stop from hearing what I said next.

"It was your brother, not I, who received the power of the Stone; he chose to use this power to return me to life."

"But -- Al?" Ed was begging, now. "What happened to Al?! Where did he go!"

"He didn't go anywhere, Edward." I made my voice as soft as I could; harsh as the desert wind, that wasn't much. "He has been with you. You've known it all along."

"NO!"

"You've known it," I interrupted, pushing on past his anguish, "or else you would not have kept the Stone close to you, every moment waking or sleeping; you would not be so desperate to hide the Stone from the eyes of anyone who would want to use it. You would not have buried your head in the sand and refused to look at the truth."

"You're lying," Ed said desperately, "you're lying, you have to be --"

Edward: I think about him day and night. Worrying about him. Wondering where he is. Wishing I could hear his voice again. Wishing he was somehow near. Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow he would be here. Try to forgive, teach me to live. Give me the strength to try.

Scar: You are fucked up, boy. I'm sleeping outside today.

I bring entertainment. Sort of. YAY.

Make dolls! (http://elouai.com/doll-makers/candybar-doll-maker.php)

Things that move!

Or just let your brain FRY (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/ShiSachi/Random%20things/optical-illusion-wheels-circles-rotating.png)!

*ded of lmao* thanks, love. :33333 *stares* *fascinated*

For some reason, I keep staring to try and figure out if that chick with the legs is wearing underwear or no.

Yeah, she is. I can see the little white line between her thighs when she kicks.

^_^* I, too, stared and wondered.

i'm probably going to try to dance like they are now, just so you know. XD

~Sam

._. well you want something to think about?

okay. so there's this guy, who i like. a lot. like...LIKE like. *o* and i just today told my sister about how we've been flirting online(i know him irl first, tho.) so i have to get in contact with him...

=._.= so nervous.

o_o oooooooohhhhhh. *huggleloves* courage!!! *crosses fingers* will be thinking good things for you. so go and get him, muahahaha.

And now i go home, fwee!

Aww, too bad. Having an audience was good for me. ^^;

Oh, well, see you later!

Well. I went through my others' icons folder to see if I could find one for you, and discovered that I have an absurd amount of NaruSasu icons and one lone ItaSasu-ish one. Go figure.

So, there's just this one:

It was made by

insomikat, and it doesn't look like she's using it at the moment, so if you like it you could probably ask her. Otherwise, I got nothin'. *grin*

I had no idea I had so much NaruSasu stuff....

insomnikat

One of these days, I will learn how to spell.

ooh, pretty ^____^ Hm, but i'm searching for a more violent one (because i'm twisted like that XD) seeing as i can't find it, I'll probably make my own (even though i suck at icons. oh well). if you know where to find screencaps of itachi shoving sasuke against that wall, can you link me? ;_;

insomnikat also had a small icon website where she had this image:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y179/empyreal/icons/n057.jpg

And I found this just by googling:
http://www.davidslife.com/anime/reviews/images/naruto_85_1.jpg
Not sure if that's what you wanted.

I give up on html coding for tonight...><;

And I give up on web addresses: http://www.davidslife.com/anime/reviews/naruto_85.php
hopefully that works.

your icon. *grin*

*cuddlepurrs* rawrr :3

Hm. There's this (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/26063669/970641) one that

naanima's still using, but on the screencaps I'm clueless. *scratches head* I've seen several using that bit, but I don't have any saved/cited (my computer won't right-click-save gif files).

Ah! There's this one (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/22699067/2806244) based off of that, made by somebody named Nayla but...mm, it's not one of the best ones I've seen.

There's also this one (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/25465741/2806244), also made by

insomnikat, and I've seen several people with it, so I think it's up for grabs.

This (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/22934973/3759523) may be more what you're looking for? It was made by someone called Djynn, but you might have to find them through

sintari. There's also this one (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/20874079/3759523) by tsunade115, also found through Sintari, but it lacks the violence factor.

This (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/31009636/880295) is a fanart by

evercool and it also lacks violence, but it has Sasuke in a collar and chain. That's gotta be worth something, right? In fact, she has a few ItaSasu icons, if you want to skim her userpics (http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=evercool).

I hope this is somehow useful. *grin*

*loves on you* X333333

*grin* Glad to be of service.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

at school AGAIN.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

So much html....

Re: So much html....

Re: So much html....