I'm scaling down the badassness to more vaguely human abilities. Burt is extremely quick to move for a baseline human, though that doesn't necessarily translate into an ability to race. He's fast on his feet in a straight line, but not olympic 200 meter-dash level.
Dave would pretty much break the world record if he was allowed to compete (the genetic enhancements make it illegal though. XD) Dirk and Roxy are tied for second fastest; Doc Lalonde was basing herself on Burt's particular muscular/nerve system setup to improve on all the clones and in Roxy it really showed, even though technically she's not related to Burt. She's been reworked using his floorplan if you will. Rose is last but mostly because she thinks before she acts. XD;; It's a bad habit she can never get rid of, alas.
(btw, in a battle royale between the four derse kids, the last man standing is always a battle between roxy and rose. XD Roxy throws herself into it with wild abandon and she's REALLY GOOD at hand to hand, once she's under your guard you're basically fucked, and Rose tends to wait until the others have eliminated each other since they so rarely manage to agree to gang up on her first and take her out; dave never wants to band with dirk since that's admitting a weakness, even if he has to lose for it. Sometimes dirk and roxy team up to get dave and rose out of the way, and then inevitably roxy backstabs him with an evil laugh and wins. XD he always knows it's coming and he can never predict quite when and how.)
This roxy-naming headcanon is a very good headcanon, I am going to take it home and call it George. Yes. Yesss.
Burt is not actually a porn actor! that was a joke since his name sounds like a porn alias. But I wouldn't be surprised if he's appeared in amateur porn. Actually considering the issues i've given him it is very likely he did. Oh my god Dirk would have his brain so beautifully broken -- "oh hey this is fucking hot, hits all my buttons hmm yeah, you OH HELL I KNOW THAT TATTOO." (then again burt has scars and tattoos in a lot of places so it's hard to see his body naked and not recognize him XD), though I bet that if Burt's done porn that he has told his kids about it. (Dirk's the only one of them who looks for male on male porn for non-trolling purposes, btw. Dave looks at it when it pops up but it doesn't ping him. I bet Jade's taken a couple of looks but she prefers drawn porn to real actors, and furry to human anyway. XD)
Burt indeed lives upstairs. There is indeed a sweet as hell gym, it takes up the whole top floor (the kids' common room is on floor 1 and their bedrooms on floor 2; mom and dad live on the same floors but it's mostly separated spaces like two different apartments). (yes. Burt lives in the gym. There's a little office off to a side with a glass-windowed door and he has a bed crammed in there and he's totes fine with it.) There's even a swimming pool and a jacuzzi of all things, but you can only use them after you've trained like hell, yup, totally. All the gym & health stuff takes up all the space the kids could have had for separate bedrooms. Whoops. XD (most of them don't really want separate bedrooms anyway, they're used to sharing and they don't really use the bedroom for anything but to sleep, but the introverts especially would not mind having a private space; sharing the common room gets old at times.)
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I'm scaling down the badassness to more vaguely human abilities. Burt is extremely quick to move for a baseline human, though that doesn't necessarily translate into an ability to race. He's fast on his feet in a straight line, but not olympic 200 meter-dash level.
Dave would pretty much break the world record if he was allowed to compete (the genetic enhancements make it illegal though. XD) Dirk and Roxy are tied for second fastest; Doc Lalonde was basing herself on Burt's particular muscular/nerve system setup to improve on all the clones and in Roxy it really showed, even though technically she's not related to Burt. She's been reworked using his floorplan if you will. Rose is last but mostly because she thinks before she acts. XD;; It's a bad habit she can never get rid of, alas.
(btw, in a battle royale between the four derse kids, the last man standing is always a battle between roxy and rose. XD Roxy throws herself into it with wild abandon and she's REALLY GOOD at hand to hand, once she's under your guard you're basically fucked, and Rose tends to wait until the others have eliminated each other since they so rarely manage to agree to gang up on her first and take her out; dave never wants to band with dirk since that's admitting a weakness, even if he has to lose for it. Sometimes dirk and roxy team up to get dave and rose out of the way, and then inevitably roxy backstabs him with an evil laugh and wins. XD he always knows it's coming and he can never predict quite when and how.)
This roxy-naming headcanon is a very good headcanon, I am going to take it home and call it George. Yes. Yesss.
Burt is not actually a porn actor! that was a joke since his name sounds like a porn alias. But I wouldn't be surprised if he's appeared in amateur porn. Actually considering the issues i've given him it is very likely he did. Oh my god Dirk would have his brain so beautifully broken -- "oh hey this is fucking hot, hits all my buttons hmm yeah, you OH HELL I KNOW THAT TATTOO." (then again burt has scars and tattoos in a lot of places so it's hard to see his body naked and not recognize him XD), though I bet that if Burt's done porn that he has told his kids about it. (Dirk's the only one of them who looks for male on male porn for non-trolling purposes, btw. Dave looks at it when it pops up but it doesn't ping him. I bet Jade's taken a couple of looks but she prefers drawn porn to real actors, and furry to human anyway. XD)
Burt indeed lives upstairs. There is indeed a sweet as hell gym, it takes up the whole top floor (the kids' common room is on floor 1 and their bedrooms on floor 2; mom and dad live on the same floors but it's mostly separated spaces like two different apartments). (yes. Burt lives in the gym. There's a little office off to a side with a glass-windowed door and he has a bed crammed in there and he's totes fine with it.) There's even a swimming pool and a jacuzzi of all things, but you can only use them after you've trained like hell, yup, totally. All the gym & health stuff takes up all the space the kids could have had for separate bedrooms. Whoops. XD (most of them don't really want separate bedrooms anyway, they're used to sharing and they don't really use the bedroom for anything but to sleep, but the introverts especially would not mind having a private space; sharing the common room gets old at times.)