Random scenes which will probably never happen but watch me plot them anyways! You infected my brain and this is my vengeance.
After a few weeks/months, Karkat starts grumping about how he's losing muscle mass, so John remembers "Oh yeah, we have a totally sweet gym," and things are fine for about a week, but Karkat can't really do anything but treadmill and push-ups and stuff because a bunch of gym things can be construed as too aggressive. Cue accidental-on-purpose chin-up competition, which sparks general competition between the guys and Karkat as to who can do things the best, which inevitably leads to wrestling, but only after they're more comfortable with each other and some boundaries have been established. When he punches Jake in the face Karkat freaks out worse than everybody else because AAAGH don't wanna go back to the labs! But Jake just shrugs it off and is disappointed because Dirk won't let them finish.
Sad one, John and Karkat are having an argument and John unthinkingly throws it in his face that he's never going to see Gamzee/Sollux/anyone he knows again. Karkat gets depressed and tries to kill himself, John wallows in self-blame for a little, then decides not thinking got him into it, so he'll do some serious thinking for a while. Nobody knows what they were fighting about, and now Karkat's strapped to a medic bed again and John's not talking to people, just being quiet and grim. It eventually goes away, but in the meantime it's scary because the optimistic, friendly guy vanished and the guy who shuts up and does what needs doing is at the forefront, which isn't a side of him they see off the battlefield. Especially unnerving for the parents and nosy higher-ups, because they don't even have the luxury of seeing him on the battlefield like that and have to take the other kids' word that yes, he gets like that when we're curb-stomping aliens, so yeah it's weird that he's got his game face on right after his alien captive almost killed himself because of what John said to him, surely he wasn't trying to get Karkat to off himself? Surely not?
On a different note: "Morning Karkat." "Morning Dad." Collective spit-take, Dad just raises an eyebrow and asks Karkat if he knows what that word means.
Really random pervy one! Comes after they get Karkat a tracking collar or something so he doesn't need 24/7 bodyguard. Like, immediately after, when he realized that hey, for the first time in months he's got some space and alone time to himself, just gonna pop off to the bathroom real quick while most of the kids are out/occupied. John's off enjoying his own freedom and visiting Warhammer, so it's up to Jake to notice that hey, he's been locked in there for a REALLY long while now, maybe check and see that he's okay, because he' making some really weird noises and holy crap is that blood splashing on the floor? Bust down the door, oh stars and garters it is blood, he's ripped his stomach out in a desperate suicide attempt, well not today buddy because Jake to the rescue! Jane! Get in here, we need medical attention! Hauls him out of the stall kicking and screaming and clawing, which gets his attention well enough to see no, stomach's intact, but pants are half-off. Um. Heh heh. Nevermind Jane! They later try to get him to fill out an incident report to explain why he started screaming for a medic and came out covered in claw marks, but he pleads section six of the guy code. Karkat refuses to speak to anyone or turn a color that isn't solid red for three days, and never masturbates again.
Attempts to include Karkat in the group by getting him to help with chores run into a similar roadblock. NO HE WILL NOT MOP WITH YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK HE IS?
And John randomly talking out loud in the middle of their conversations is always ripe for humor. "Karkat, please stop checking out Dirk's backside when I'm mind-melded with you. ...Karkat, please stop checking out Mr. Strider's backside when I'm mind-melded with you. ... ...Karkat, for the love of all that pure and decent in the world, please stop checking out Mr. Strider's frontside when I'm mind-melded with you."
no subject
After a few weeks/months, Karkat starts grumping about how he's losing muscle mass, so John remembers "Oh yeah, we have a totally sweet gym," and things are fine for about a week, but Karkat can't really do anything but treadmill and push-ups and stuff because a bunch of gym things can be construed as too aggressive. Cue accidental-on-purpose chin-up competition, which sparks general competition between the guys and Karkat as to who can do things the best, which inevitably leads to wrestling, but only after they're more comfortable with each other and some boundaries have been established. When he punches Jake in the face Karkat freaks out worse than everybody else because AAAGH don't wanna go back to the labs! But Jake just shrugs it off and is disappointed because Dirk won't let them finish.
Sad one, John and Karkat are having an argument and John unthinkingly throws it in his face that he's never going to see Gamzee/Sollux/anyone he knows again. Karkat gets depressed and tries to kill himself, John wallows in self-blame for a little, then decides not thinking got him into it, so he'll do some serious thinking for a while. Nobody knows what they were fighting about, and now Karkat's strapped to a medic bed again and John's not talking to people, just being quiet and grim. It eventually goes away, but in the meantime it's scary because the optimistic, friendly guy vanished and the guy who shuts up and does what needs doing is at the forefront, which isn't a side of him they see off the battlefield. Especially unnerving for the parents and nosy higher-ups, because they don't even have the luxury of seeing him on the battlefield like that and have to take the other kids' word that yes, he gets like that when we're curb-stomping aliens, so yeah it's weird that he's got his game face on right after his alien captive almost killed himself because of what John said to him, surely he wasn't trying to get Karkat to off himself? Surely not?
On a different note:
"Morning Karkat."
"Morning Dad."
Collective spit-take, Dad just raises an eyebrow and asks Karkat if he knows what that word means.
Really random pervy one! Comes after they get Karkat a tracking collar or something so he doesn't need 24/7 bodyguard. Like, immediately after, when he realized that hey, for the first time in months he's got some space and alone time to himself, just gonna pop off to the bathroom real quick while most of the kids are out/occupied. John's off enjoying his own freedom and visiting Warhammer, so it's up to Jake to notice that hey, he's been locked in there for a REALLY long while now, maybe check and see that he's okay, because he' making some really weird noises and holy crap is that blood splashing on the floor? Bust down the door, oh stars and garters it is blood, he's ripped his stomach out in a desperate suicide attempt, well not today buddy because Jake to the rescue! Jane! Get in here, we need medical attention! Hauls him out of the stall kicking and screaming and clawing, which gets his attention well enough to see no, stomach's intact, but pants are half-off. Um. Heh heh. Nevermind Jane! They later try to get him to fill out an incident report to explain why he started screaming for a medic and came out covered in claw marks, but he pleads section six of the guy code. Karkat refuses to speak to anyone or turn a color that isn't solid red for three days, and never masturbates again.
Attempts to include Karkat in the group by getting him to help with chores run into a similar roadblock. NO HE WILL NOT MOP WITH YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK HE IS?
And John randomly talking out loud in the middle of their conversations is always ripe for humor.
"Karkat, please stop checking out Dirk's backside when I'm mind-melded with you. ...Karkat, please stop checking out Mr. Strider's backside when I'm mind-melded with you.
... ...Karkat, for the love of all that pure and decent in the world, please stop checking out Mr. Strider's frontside when I'm mind-melded with you."