"--tell you, this was an advance war party, why else would they be so far from all troll territories, I know they roam but never in such big packs, there were over thirty of them!--"
"--hell, there was a reason we settled so far inland--"
"--they had humans with them, fucking pieces of shit trollsucking traitors, serve as guides no doubt--"
"... and I'm glad we're keeping them."
Nepeta's arm goes tight, claws pricking your biceps. For a second you almost expect her fucking purrbeast-ear-shaped horns to droop, that's how down she looks like.
That's how down you feel.
"Yeah," you mutter, and you look away. "I suppose I'm. It's. Probably better that way."
Nepeta's frown melts away and she smiles at you all crinkle-eyed and dimple-cheeked, it's disgusting. You put your free hand on her forehead and shove her off.
"For now! They might still choose to leave later. That'll be fine. Whatever."
You really should have kept the wagon, instead of leading it back to the village after the three humans on it had absconded at high speed, shouldn't have bothered trying to be good neighbors to those diarrhea-speckled ass-wipes. You admit the sixteen of you make for a pretty impressive strike force, but who'd ever believe Egbert's barkbeast friendliness hides murderous intent?
(Come to think of it he'd make a terrifying laughssassin.)
Anyway.
John was the most hurt. Jade was pained for a minute, you think, but you know she was raised alone by her lusus, so even if she has a human's social instincts, in short order she was cursing up and down their ancestor forest or bush or something like that (human reproduction is disgusting) and then she was over it. Rose and Strider are cynical, wary, pessimistic assholes who'd almost deserve to be trolls; you're sure they weren't even that surprised.
Anyway so John was the most hurt, at first, but Terezi and Spiderbitch stayed back to eavesdrop some more and apparently the towns farther to the west dealt with more trolls and were less hostile (that's apparently how you translate "trollsucker" from the native Speciesist Asswipe) and that was where you all wanted to be, and from that point on he was filled with ridiculous enthusiasm for those mythical places of equality and harmony.
"The lioness wonders why her crab friend looks so crabby. She says, he will have wrinkles before he's even ten sweeps old!"
And then she licks the pad of her thumb and tries to rub the spot between your brows like it's a smudge of dirt she can actually erase. You flail in protest and try to dodge, but while you were deep in thought Nepeta has reclaimed your arm. Again. How did you not notice, it is simply ridiculous. You are trapped, there is nowhere to go, and now you have catgirl spit on your face!
You flail your free hand in her direction a bit, though you don't get it too close in case she captures that one as well. "Stop slobbering all over me! That's disgusting, holy grubmunching fuck."
"Karkitty, why are you frowning." She scowls at you. It looks like a caricature of John's Serious Face, which already looks like a caricature in the first place.
"I'm not frowning, my face is just that way. It's a birth defect, okay, now shut up and go back to the despair pit of nerd hell you came from."
"Nyaa?" she says, and tilts her head like a dizzy, horn-shaken wiggler.
"No, seriously. There's nothing to frown about, everything's been going really well since --" You feel your frown deepening this time; you turn your face away; "--since then, no blisters, no food gone bad, we keep finding fresh streams to drink from, hopbeasts throw themselves in our path..."
"Yes! It's grrrreat, isn't it!"
"No it's not. It's suspicious as fuck! Shit happens. Shit happening is a constant in all of our lives. When shit is not happening it's because shit is happening in areas we have not come across yet and it's in the process of piling up high enough for a shit tsunami, which will conveniently start whenever we happen to walk by that lovely and insufficient shit dam. Welcome to MiddleOfExcrementLakeVille, Population: You."
no subject
"--hell, there was a reason we settled so far inland--"
"--they had humans with them, fucking pieces of shit trollsucking traitors, serve as guides no doubt--"
"... and I'm glad we're keeping them."
Nepeta's arm goes tight, claws pricking your biceps. For a second you almost expect her fucking purrbeast-ear-shaped horns to droop, that's how down she looks like.
That's how down you feel.
"Yeah," you mutter, and you look away. "I suppose I'm. It's. Probably better that way."
Nepeta's frown melts away and she smiles at you all crinkle-eyed and dimple-cheeked, it's disgusting. You put your free hand on her forehead and shove her off.
"For now! They might still choose to leave later. That'll be fine. Whatever."
You really should have kept the wagon, instead of leading it back to the village after the three humans on it had absconded at high speed, shouldn't have bothered trying to be good neighbors to those diarrhea-speckled ass-wipes. You admit the sixteen of you make for a pretty impressive strike force, but who'd ever believe Egbert's barkbeast friendliness hides murderous intent?
(Come to think of it he'd make a terrifying laughssassin.)
Anyway.
John was the most hurt. Jade was pained for a minute, you think, but you know she was raised alone by her lusus, so even if she has a human's social instincts, in short order she was cursing up and down their ancestor forest or bush or something like that (human reproduction is disgusting) and then she was over it. Rose and Strider are cynical, wary, pessimistic assholes who'd almost deserve to be trolls; you're sure they weren't even that surprised.
Anyway so John was the most hurt, at first, but Terezi and Spiderbitch stayed back to eavesdrop some more and apparently the towns farther to the west dealt with more trolls and were less hostile (that's apparently how you translate "trollsucker" from the native Speciesist Asswipe) and that was where you all wanted to be, and from that point on he was filled with ridiculous enthusiasm for those mythical places of equality and harmony.
"The lioness wonders why her crab friend looks so crabby. She says, he will have wrinkles before he's even ten sweeps old!"
And then she licks the pad of her thumb and tries to rub the spot between your brows like it's a smudge of dirt she can actually erase. You flail in protest and try to dodge, but while you were deep in thought Nepeta has reclaimed your arm. Again. How did you not notice, it is simply ridiculous. You are trapped, there is nowhere to go, and now you have catgirl spit on your face!
You flail your free hand in her direction a bit, though you don't get it too close in case she captures that one as well. "Stop slobbering all over me! That's disgusting, holy grubmunching fuck."
"Karkitty, why are you frowning." She scowls at you. It looks like a caricature of John's Serious Face, which already looks like a caricature in the first place.
"I'm not frowning, my face is just that way. It's a birth defect, okay, now shut up and go back to the despair pit of nerd hell you came from."
"Nyaa?" she says, and tilts her head like a dizzy, horn-shaken wiggler.
"No, seriously. There's nothing to frown about, everything's been going really well since --" You feel your frown deepening this time; you turn your face away; "--since then, no blisters, no food gone bad, we keep finding fresh streams to drink from, hopbeasts throw themselves in our path..."
"Yes! It's grrrreat, isn't it!"
"No it's not. It's suspicious as fuck! Shit happens. Shit happening is a constant in all of our lives. When shit is not happening it's because shit is happening in areas we have not come across yet and it's in the process of piling up high enough for a shit tsunami, which will conveniently start whenever we happen to walk by that lovely and insufficient shit dam. Welcome to MiddleOfExcrementLakeVille, Population: You."