I was reading along, enjoying myself and taking mental review notes and then I saw Deathscythe. Aiiiiieee. I laughed. Deathscythe's whole personality and then his appearance? ++100% It's perfect. Did you make Wing all primary colors on purpose or was it just random?
Wonderful writing as per usual. No, really. Wonderful. I love your dialogue to pieces.
There were a few spots that caught my eye. The first was the part with Relena (assuming that's her) was situationally a bit confusing. It was hard to get a picture of what exactly was going on. I'm still not quite sure why Wing was ignoring her. Granted, this could be reader!fail here.
The second was Duo commenting on Heero's cliff diving. It wasn't very clear on the first read through that Heero had dove off a cliff. Or why.
Once you really got going it flows beautifully. Wing biting Scythe was just full of cute. Scythe being so snarky...and built like a- something huge. :D
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Wonderful writing as per usual. No, really. Wonderful. I love your dialogue to pieces.
There were a few spots that caught my eye. The first was the part with Relena (assuming that's her) was situationally a bit confusing. It was hard to get a picture of what exactly was going on. I'm still not quite sure why Wing was ignoring her. Granted, this could be reader!fail here.
The second was Duo commenting on Heero's cliff diving. It wasn't very clear on the first read through that Heero had dove off a cliff. Or why.
Once you really got going it flows beautifully. Wing biting Scythe was just full of cute. Scythe being so snarky...and built like a- something huge. :D