"so he grabbed a good hold" 'grabbed' seems a little awkward here, 'got' would sound better, or something. dunno, just seems off to me.
"a rope ladder wore down a long time" 'wore out' would be better here, in my opinion. 'Wore down' sounds like you're wearing down rock or something, 'wore out' is generally what's used with emotions.
...aaand the only other thing that I can think of is that I don't like 'flesh hand' when referring to Barret, but that's a personal peeve, not something that's worth fussing about.
And the pace doesn't feel slow at all, it feels proper for a non-action sequence, and then the family fight eradicates any slowness there might be. Nice work!
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"so he grabbed a good hold" 'grabbed' seems a little awkward here, 'got' would sound better, or something. dunno, just seems off to me.
"a rope ladder wore down a long time" 'wore out' would be better here, in my opinion. 'Wore down' sounds like you're wearing down rock or something, 'wore out' is generally what's used with emotions.
...aaand the only other thing that I can think of is that I don't like 'flesh hand' when referring to Barret, but that's a personal peeve, not something that's worth fussing about.
And the pace doesn't feel slow at all, it feels proper for a non-action sequence, and then the family fight eradicates any slowness there might be. Nice work!