Man, I just wanna pile up all the macho-manly pissing-contest vibes and roll around in it. Is that wrong?
Honestly I think my favourite part of all this is Duane wanting so bad to be an antagonist but knowing that he has to be peacekeeper. And then being an antagonist anyway xD Also Tyr's intensity, especially in this scene is just so delicious!
I am more than willing to ignore the technical aspect until after you've finished fleshing out the plot and character parts of it. Though I have to admit the mental image of a human mouth full of dog teeth is just horrific and vivid :D
Also, I know this isn't the time or place for it but when you're doing rewrites I think the narrative of this scene needs some work. Dunno if it was just me but for a while there I was having issues following the physical aspect of it all, ie. where everyone was and what they were doing. The emotions and tension came across really well but what happened to Dave? For some reason I though he was in the alley with them.
no subject
Honestly I think my favourite part of all this is Duane wanting so bad to be an antagonist but knowing that he has to be peacekeeper. And then being an antagonist anyway xD Also Tyr's intensity, especially in this scene is just so delicious!
I am more than willing to ignore the technical aspect until after you've finished fleshing out the plot and character parts of it. Though I have to admit the mental image of a human mouth full of dog teeth is just horrific and vivid :D
Also, I know this isn't the time or place for it but when you're doing rewrites I think the narrative of this scene needs some work. Dunno if it was just me but for a while there I was having issues following the physical aspect of it all, ie. where everyone was and what they were doing. The emotions and tension came across really well but what happened to Dave? For some reason I though he was in the alley with them.