*shakes the bunnies*

[askerian]

I can't write. Still. I've spouted out a Sakura ramble (not even a proper one-shot as she can't stay with one subject -- started with her relationship with Tsunade and, of course, ended up Team Seven) but it needs serious tweaking (rewording, condensating, and more rewording) and I can't find any motivation to do so. Teamwork is staring at me and grinning and not saying anything, the bitch. And all my other fics are playing dead.

Maybe I need to blackmail myself into writing. Yeah, it's hot, yeah, I'm feeling lazy, yeah, the canon isn't being very engaging right now. But damn it. *prods self with stick*


Also, I've wanted for the last six months to write filthy, filthy porn. Preferably of the Naruto's Harem variety. Alas. I NEED A GODDAMN PLOT. Also, to keep them IC.

Yeeah. Believable-yet-porny-porn. That's all me. *flops* =_=

Comments

[askerian]

if I don't like writing horrid cliches or remakes of my old scenes, I don't. I don't like to repeat myself, and I definitely hate to be boringly common. I do include context when I say "lemon", not just the pure sexual acts; but guess what, even most of those are cliches, so long as I want a one-shot where the actual getting it on is at least half or majority of the fic.

I don't give a damn if the sentences are pretty, I'm still not touching any "they both crushed on each other in secret, then they get drunk and admit to their mutual love and have sex" bunny with a ten-feet long bazooka (I'd rather avoid Seme/uke kisses-blowjob-one-finger-two-fingers-three-fingers-cock, too). 1) because originality is a part of engaging stories and 2) because routine kills the hawt, seeing the same thing too many times makes the boner go flop, and when i've seen this lemon before, and before, and before? yeaaah, it's skipping-to-get-to-the-rest-of-the-plot time.

So I guess i'm cursed. ZOMG porn with plot.

[complexphoenix.livejournal.com]

"they both crushed on each other in secret, then they get drunk and admit to their mutual love and have sex" bunny with a ten-feet long bazooka (I'd rather avoid Seme/uke kisses-blowjob-one-finger-two-fingers-three-fingers-cock, too)

I didn't mean the bad cliches, and I never suggested you should write something you hate; sorry if I came off badly or sounded stupid. What I meant was that putting too much emphasis on originality really puts an author in a cage of their own making, and just because it's been done doesn't make it bad.

[cindelius.livejournal.com]

I'm still not touching any "they both crushed on each other in secret, then they get drunk and admit to their mutual love and have sex" bunny with a ten-feet long bazooka (I'd rather avoid Seme/uke kisses-blowjob-one-finger-two-fingers-three-fingers-cock, too)
Hahaha. I thank goodness for this. There's certainly enough of that out there already. Your wording gets the, "OMG YES!" in both accurate summarization and humor. Ever consider writing parody?

because routine kills the hawt, seeing the same thing too many times makes the boner go flop
Agreed. Have the characters learned this yet, though? *g* I've yet to see a fic in this fandom in which an established couple or group discover that they need a bit more excitement, variation, and originality in bed. Then again, most of the fics that I read involve Naruto, who is a bundle of surprises and probably wouldn't drop this in the bedroom. I suppose he'd have to be more of the fun friend (with deeper attachments and undying trust) who gets invited to bed to spice (and complicate) things up.

So I guess i'm cursed. ZOMG porn with plot.
Not cursed, just very conscious of your own expectations and goals. The pressure that you've put on yourself to write good smut is tiring, yet is also part of the distinction that makes your fics your own and so worth the read, imo. I offered some suggestions above, but I think that this is one of those things that works itself out on its own. You may work through it as a result of long writing sessions and conscious plotting, or you may suddenly get up from the dinner table and yell out, "The mental boner's back!", rushing off to start writing. When it returns, a mental cock ring may be in order as payback for your current frustration. ;o)