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*flops*
Guess who's got writer's block again. =__= AAARGH. The only thing I can write on at the moment is a crack crossover thing I'm writing with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theninjakitty. And even then it's only because we switch POV every ten lines, and we have no real plot in mind.
It's entertaining crack, though. My bitchy, macho Teamwork!Sasuke and her bitchy, also macho and heavily pregnant SelfReliance!Sasuke. It's awkward for both of them and there's lots of pissiness and silence. They're so touchy. Mmmmmmmm. ♥
I kinda wouldn't mind clonesex. :D
Anyway, apart from that, I'm bored. Boooored. boredboredbored. I hereby declare this a spam post. ENTERTAIN ME, PEOPLE. ;_;
I want kittysuke smut. T_T
theninjakitty. And even then it's only because we switch POV every ten lines, and we have no real plot in mind. It's entertaining crack, though. My bitchy, macho Teamwork!Sasuke and her bitchy, also macho and heavily pregnant SelfReliance!Sasuke. It's awkward for both of them and there's lots of pissiness and silence. They're so touchy. Mmmmmmmm. ♥
I kinda wouldn't mind clonesex. :D
Anyway, apart from that, I'm bored. Boooored. boredboredbored. I hereby declare this a spam post. ENTERTAIN ME, PEOPLE. ;_;
I want kittysuke smut. T_T
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If I could wirte porn or draw, I'd be more help, but this is the best I could do. ;_; I'm sorry.
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However, I'm also trying to get my desktop computer back, so the most entertaining thing I have to offer at the moment is this: I was silly enough to put in a mix CD from a friend while waiting on hold, and of course the technician comes on while "Everyone else has had more sex than me" comes through the speakers. -_-;
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*nosebleeds all over the place*
FURRYSEX! OMG. Sasuke's expression. and the position. and the tails!! I love how fluffy naruto's is, and the way sasuke's circles naruto's arm. ohhh so sexy.
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it's here if you're interested.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1808273720725631796
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...XDDDD thank you so much. *dies* *watches it again*
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... *giggles* yeah, baaad idea.
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what about a webcomic? ^^ you could try this one called Alpha Luna, about a girl discovering she's a werewolf. it's REALLY well drawn, you might get a kick out of it.
http://alphaluna.comicgenesis.com/
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Furry Tumblers (http://kihitsu.livejournal.com/10009.html)
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Oh, and how do you do the tinyfont? I cant figure it out and damnit I want it.
Um... to be entertaining, heres a creation of mine:
:3 Paint/photoshop/whatever is my happy crack.
-_- But I dont get much practice in drawing stick figures, so you'll have to forgive me XDD
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strike. (strike) text(/strike), or just (s) text (/s). And here people are bothering with (font size = blahblah) XD.......O_O
*chokehackcoughsplutter* ...i think just ruptured my spleen laughing. XD
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Does it work?
o_o MEDIC!
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I'm afraid this isn't smut,
but at least it's crack.
Miss Saki is Missing!
- a parody [incomplete]
Miss Saki was the nicest teacher in the school.
She never yelled
and she always gave the easiest assignments.
She told her students to call her "Saki-nee-sensei."
She never told anyone about what happened in her classes,
not even the students' parents.
She was always smiling and graceful
no matter what her students did.
Her son, Uchiha Kou, was in her class, and she didn't treat him any differently from the other students.
Kou-chan didn't treat Miss Saki any differently than the other students did, either.
The children in Class 2-7 were misbehaving again.
Spitballs stuck to the ceiling.
Paper shuriken whizzed through the air.
They were the worst-behaved class in the whole school.
"Now settle down," said Miss Saki in a sweet voice.
But the class would *not* settle down.
They whispered and giggled.
They squirmed and made faces.
They were even rude during story hour.
"You're a mommy's boy," Ken-chan said when Kou-chan started to get
his homework out.
"I am NOT," Kou-chan said. He folded his homework into a paper
shuriken and sent it whizzing by Miss Saki's head.
The other children refused to do their homework, too.
And they always refused to do their lessons in class.
Kou-chan and Miss Saki walked home together after school.
"You should behave in class," Miss Saki said.
"I don't have to," Kou-chan said.
"Nobody else does."
"But you could," Miss Saki said.
Kou-chan looked at the ground.
He looked at the clouds in the sky.
He looked at the leaves in the trees.
He didn't say anything.
Miss Saki sighed.
Miss Saki and Kou-chan walked in the door of the Uchiha House.
"I'm home now," they said.
"Welcome back," said Uchiha Hinata.
"Welcome back," said Uchiha Sakura.
Kou-chan had four mothers.
Miss Saki was one.
Kou-chan and his brother and sisters called her Saki-mommy.
Ms. Hinata was another.
Kou-chan and his brother and sisters called her Hinata-mommy.
The third one was Ms. Sakura.
Kou-chan and his brother and sisters called her Mom.
So did some of the grown-ups.
Ms. Sakura was lying down on a futon.
"You look like I feel," said Ms. Sakura. "Was today hard?"
Ms. Sakura was going to have a baby.
She had been going to have a baby
for nearly ten months now.
She was very tired of having a baby inside her.
She was also just very tired.
Also her feet hurt.
"It was the same as always," Miss Saki said.
Miss Saki smiled.
"I will help with dinner tonight," she said.
"You are tired.
Hinata-chan is tired.
She has been looking after the young ones all day."
"We are not work," said the oldest of Kou-chan's little sisters.
"We are fun."
"You are so work," said Kou-chan.
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Now settle down," said Miss Saki in a sweet voice.
But they didn't.
"BE QUIET!" said Ms. Sakura.
Kou-chan and his sister crept very quietly out of the room.
"My throat hurts,"
said Ms. Sakura.
"My back hurts.
My feet hurt.
I cannot wait for this baby to be born."
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Kou-chan and his sister Inoko-chan kept shoving each other.
Their little brother told their father all about what they had done that day.
It was boring.
Their father told their little brother all about what he had done that day.
It was exciting.
The triplets bounced up and down in their playpen.
Hinata-mommy tried to feed them.
The triplets tried to throw food at each other.
The triplets thought throwing food
was much more fun than eating it.
Ms. Sakura had to sit sideways to the table
in order to reach her food.
Kou-chan's Dad
held up food where Ms. Sakura could reach it
when he remembered.
But he was telling his younger son all about his day
so usually he forgot.
Kou-chan's fourth mother spoke to Miss Saki.
The fourth mother was called Ino-mommy.
"Some of the policemen
at the station where I work," said Ino-mommy,
"look forward to going home.
They like the peace and quiet at home.
I look forward to going to work.
I like the peace and quiet there."
Miss Saki looked at Ino-mommy.
Miss Saki looked at the dinner table.
Miss Saki looked at Kou-chan.
"Something will have to be done," said Miss Saki.
The next morning Kou-chan went to breakfast.
Miss Saki wasn't there.
"Where is Saki-mommy?" said Kou-chan.
"She left already," said Hinata-mommy.
"She left us a note."
"Oh," said Kou-chan.
Kou-chan's Dad was helping Hinata-mommy feed the triplets.
"You had better run," said his Dad.
"You will be late to school."
Kou-chan ran out of the house.
Then he walked to school.
He was late.
Miss Saki was later.
Miss Saki did not come to school.
"Wow!" yelled the children. "Now we can *really* act up!"
They began to make more spitballs and paper shuriken.
"Today let's be just terrible!"
WHACK.
All of the paper shuriken
were suddenly nailed to the blackboards and window frames
by kunai.
"Not. So. Fast," hissed a deep voice.
A man in an ugly black outfit stood before them.
The cloth hood attached to his hitai-ate was black.
The mask covering his face and throat was black.
His shirt was black.
His hand wrappings were black.
His trousers were black.
His leg pouch was black.
His foot wrappings were black.
His soft shoes were black.
Everything about him was black except for his kunai and hitai-ate,
which were metal, and his chuunin vest,
which was an ugly shade of green.
"Listen up, you repulsive little maggots," he snarled.
"I am your new teacher, Uchiha Sasuke.
You will call me 'Mr. Uchiha, *SIR*'."
"Where is Miss Saki?" the children asked.
Mr. Uchiha formed some hand seals and sent a volley of fireballs over the children's heads. They hit the 'How to Write Kana with Nanako Cat and Ichirou Dog' posters over the back blackboard, and burned them all up.
"Where is Miss Saki, Mr. Uchiha, sir?" Fuuko-chan asked.
"Never mind that!" snapped Mr. Uchiha. "Open up those arithmetic
books!"
The children in Class 2-7 did as they were told.
They could see that Mr. Uchiha was a real oni.
He meant business.
Right away he put them to work.
"We'll have no story hour today," said Mr. Uchiha.
"Keep your mouths shut," said Mr. Uchiha.
"Sit perfectly still," said Mr. Uchiha.
"And if you misbehave, you'll be... sorry," said Mr. Uchiha.
And he loaded them down with homework.
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Kou-chan pushed the door open with his foot.
His arms were full of schoolbooks.
"I'm home now," he said.
"Welcome home," said his sister Inoko-chan.
Inoko-chan looked at Kou-chan.
Inoko-chan looked behind Kou-chan.
Nobody was there.
"Oh, it's just you," said Inoko-chan. "Never mind."
"Where are our mothers?" said Kou-chan.
"Hinata-mommy is sitting down," said Inoko-chan.
"She has a headache."
"Where are our other mothers?" said Kou-chan.
"Mom started to have the baby right after you left," said
Inoko-chan,
"so Dad took her to the hospital.
And he called and said she hadn't had it yet,
so everyone but Hinata-mommy would come over to the hospital to wait
for her,
so they would all come home together.
I suppose Saki-mommy went straight there?"
"I guess she must have," said Kou-chan. "She wasn't at school
when I got there."
"Then she must have," said Inoko-chan. "You were probably so late
she left before you even got to school.
And nobody's called back,
so Mom must still be having her baby."
"She should have had it by now," said Kou-chan.
"Well, she HASN'T," said Inoko-chan.
Somebody knocked on the door.
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eeee! that's a take off of a children's book i know, am i correct?
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2005 款新型跑車上市，震憾!
It's like, the perfect thing to stare at for hours when you're bored.
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(It was also the first series where I accidentally indulged in the since-common habit of reading the sequel BEFORE the first book.)
But since it was the first thing that jumped to mind when someone mentioned Saki-chan as a teacher, I figured I'd write that parody.
(Although Viola Swamp never got to throw kunai. I think the boys would have been more interested in that book if she had.)
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Re: I'm afraid this isn't smut,
Re: 2005 款新型跑車上市，震憾!
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http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c271/askerian/sasukittynarufox_nsfw2b.gif
^___^
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(I tend to get behind on webcomics and then read them in huge gulps, so a few days ago I managed to mainline Kesandru's Well, Holiday Wars, and That Which Redeems in one long sitting. Wow. After that, I'll forgive the guest comics during and some of the slower filler afterwards -- besides, Oceans Unmoving is probably better read en masse anyway.)
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And you're welcome, by the way! ♥ I like drawing things for people. (It gives me a valid excuse to draw a catboy getting a blowjob. XD)
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Obviously this must be remedied ASAP.
Thank you!
Re: 2005 款新型跑車上市，震憾!
(I thought it was funny. ._.)
(But seriously. You can stare at it in shock for hours...)
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