ext_11654 ([identity profile] solitude1056.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] askerian 2005-01-06 01:58 am (UTC)

excuse me while I come dangerously close to wibbling.

ahem.

one thing: "Duo nodded, and lay his arm over Heero. It should have felt restrictive, claustrophobic even, but it didn't. It wasn't quite comfortable, but he could ignore the nagging impulse to push him off easily."

'Easily' is modifying 'ignore the nagging impulse' not 'to push him off' so you might want to move 'easily' to "he could easily ignore the..." -- currently it reads like he's able to ignore the fact that it'd be easy to push Duo off--which given Heero's strength, it would be, there's no question of that.

I saw one or two others but I can't remember them now...back to bed for me.

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