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Teamwork (narusasusaku) chpt 6 part 1
as always, notify me if you see weird grammar, weird spelling, weird explanations, weird anything. and if you don't get something, ask yourself if sakura gets it first XD because it's normal that there are some things she's not understanding; it will be answered later.
I wrote that while fighting back sleep, so the writing's probably not that good by the end-- i know i have a lot of repeated words and i dont like that, but i havent had the time to track them down and change them. suggestions?
Sakura woke up with a muscular arm thrown over her chest again. The air was damp and a bit cold, and a few birds were trilling -- some directly over her head. Maybe she could sic Naruto on them, that would take care of breakfast.
Grunting in annoyance, the girl squirmed and buried herself in the embrace of her closest boy. Mmm, warm. She fell right asleep.
Only to be awakened a few seconds later by a shrill bird whistle in her ear.
/ARGH GODDAMN FUCK--/
"Rrrrrgh, shaddap, stupid son of a hen and a pigeon..." Naruto snarled as he unwrapped the arm around Sakura's waist to throw something toward the source of the noise. There was the sound of wings beating frantically and then a thud as a little body hit a branch. Sakura smiled beatifically.
It was a bit weird, when she thought about it, to be in Naruto's arms, because it was still weird to see him as anything else than a (sometimes rather annoying) friend, but in her fuzzily sleepy brain, it was easier to admit that at least he had nice arms. The situation was bizarre, really, and she felt like she should have freaked out, and would freak out if only she was given the option later in the day, when she was more awake, but he was so very warm -- really, he would be just fine to cuddle with during winter. Sasuke's skin was a lot cooler; she could --she blushed as she imagined daring to do that, and even more, having the permission to-- cuddle him during summer...
... now that she thought of it, maybe he was a bit too cold. As usual, he'd pulled away a little; he couldn't huddle close if his life depended on it, the /infuriating standoffish prick/ mysterious, aloof loner. She didn't want him to get sick.
"Sasuke?" she whispered as she nudged him gently.
He didn't react.
"Sasuke?" she asked again, frowning in confusion. Was he ignoring her?
His forehead was damp, his cheeks pale -- a lot paler than his usual shade, which would have seemed impossible to her.
"Sasuke?" she repeated a third time, sitting up. Naruto grunted a protest as she pulled away from him, and she resolutely ignored he blush wanting to creep on her cheeks. She would feel embarrassed later. For now, Sasuke worried her. At a glance, she could see the vein at his throat fluttering from way too rapid heartbeat, and when she reached out and took his wrist, it was just as if he didn't have a bone in his body, and he was cold. His pulse was weak, too quick.
She crouched at his side, falling back on her training and ruthlessly smothering the part of her that wanted to cry out and sob and plead Sasuke to be okay -- she'd learned better in the last years.
"Naruto, check the perimeter," she snapped without looking back at the blond, who immediately stopped rubbing his head sleepily. A second later he'd disappeared from the branch, and she could feel his chakra building, gathering as he weaved his way through the branches.
She didn't like the way Sasuke was breathing at all. It was as if every breath he took pained him, and the little hissing noise it made... no, she didn't like it at all. She lifted one of his eyelids /damn these Uchiha for having such dark eyes, how the fuck am I supposed to see his pupils?!!/ checked his limbs and neck for signs of needles or scratches -- he could have been poisoned -- then not finding any, lifted Sasuke's shirt gently to glance at his body.
And gasped. No need to look anywhere else. His chest was one big, ugly bruise. When had that happened? How ? Why hadn't he-- no, scratch that, she knew why he hadn't said anything before. Probably thought he could be strong and manly and wait the pain out instead of disturbing her -- them-- when there was such an important decision to make.
She brushed her fingers against his ribs tenderly, maybe a bit too fast -- she saw him shudder weakly, but she couldn't guess at a glance whether his ribs were in one piece or not. But the flesh was swollen in a way that implied more than surface damage.
His stomach and abdomen were ... Hard. As if he'd clenched his muscles, but he was still perfectly limp, and she searched for the diagnostic, she could almost remember it --
"Perimeter secure," Naruto informed her. His chakra was actually radiating warmth, and Sasuke started to shiver anew when a gust of hot wind caressed his skin, to be replaced a second later with the damp, cold atmosphere of the forest.
"The fire. Poke it. Then sit on his other side." Sakura ordered as she pulled the orange sweater she was wearing over her head and threw it over Sasuke's chest.
"What's wrong with him?" Naruto asked; there was a hint of a whine in his tone, and she almost snapped at him to shut up and let her think, but she knew that he was worried too.
"I don't know," she replied instead, and if it sounded like a growl, it was much more from her powerlessness than any resentment toward Naruto.
"Yesterday he said his ribs were cracked," the blond offered, his usually assured voice just a tiny bit wavering. "And Kyuubi leaned on his chest..."
"He did?!" she screeched back, though quietly. Why the hell did they never tell her these things?!! And why the hell hadn't she NOTICED?!!
/That might be the part with the self-pity and the cuddling up to strong males because you weren't able to deal on your own/ Inner Sakura offered, a lot less crude and a lot more grim than she usually was.
"But Sasuke said he was okay, that his ribs weren't broken, and he should know, we've broken enough ribs between the three of us!" Naruto replied, flinching at the rage in her voice. He looked guilty. Good, she thought with resentment. Maybe next time they'd think to communicate their status to their teammate!
"They're not broken," she replied tersely when watching Naruto cower stopped making her feel vindicated. "I think he has internal bleeding."
And it had been going on long enough that anyone else would probably be dead already, she thought, but it didn't help. Even on one of Naruto's frogs, and not counting the jounin no doubt posted between them and the village, Konoha was too far away and he needed urgent medical treatment, treatment that she wasn't qualified to give.
She looked up. She didn't need to say anything. Naruto's face was starting to mirror her own horror.
"Oh-- oh fuck..."
He started to reach out, stopped himself.
"Can we move him? I mean it won't make things worse, will it?"
She shrugged; she felt like crying. /He'll die here just as well as in your arms, idiot,/ she wanted to snarl back, but it would have been like kicking a puppy.
Naruto reached for Sasuke again to lift him -- and froze, eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring.
Without warning, she felt the scorching caress of the nine-tails' chakra, and then he disappeared with a snarl, only leaving the imprint of his feet in the bark.
A second later, she heard the twang of one of her tripwires and the faint sound of someone jumping aside to avoid her trap. It was not Naruto. Naruto would have crashed through the bushes, uncaring. She crouched protectively over Sasuke, kunai in hand. She didn't care that he was dying; she wouldn't let anyone hurt him!
"Yo, Haruno."
She had thrown her weapons before even recognizing the intruder.
Shikamaru was hanging upside-down from another tree, just a little above her level. His hands were in his pockets and he was scowling at her in that bored way of his. She was not about to trust that look on him. He was a chuunin; he was probably here on Konoha's business.
"Women are so jumpy, I swear... I come in peace, so relax," he drawled, rolling his eyes, then glanced at Sasuke and finally appeared to take the situation seriously. "What happened to Uchiha?"
"I don't know," she replied. She straightened; her hands were perfectly steady, but of course the second she noticed how well she'd held her composure, she started to shake. "He has internal bleeding though. He needs medical attention," she replied. She wondered why she was volunteering the info; maybe hoping he'd help. They were sort of friends, weren't they? Or he was friends with Naruto, at least... Even if he was there to arrest them all, he wouldn't let Sasuke die, would he? "What are you doing here?"
He leaped onto their large branch, taking his backpack off as he advanced. "Hokage-sama sent us as negotiators. There are blankets and a thermos of soup in here," he added as he gave the pack away, not even watching her as he sat on his heels and stared at Sasuke's pale, sweaty face.
"To negotiate what?" she asked, even as she pulled a blanket out and covered Sasuke. She couldn't help caressing his forehead tenderly, pushing back his long dark bangs. They were sticking to his face, he had to find that uncomfortable.
"Word back at the village is that you were taken hostage by Naruto," he replied, his voice and his whole body language indicating that he couldn't care less. But he was watching her closely, she felt it, even as she smoothed the blanket and wetted Sasuke's lips with her water.
She was about to snap back that they'd come of their own wills, thankyouverymuch, but the godawful howl that tore through the forest just then kind of made her lose track of the conversation.
"That wasn't Naruto," she mumbled, eyes wide. The voice was different -- and she didn't think anything could make him scream in pain and sound that much like a beast.
"That was Kiba," Shikamaru replied in a tense voice as he scanned the forest.
"What's Kiba --" doing here? she didn't ask, because she shouldn't talk before thinking. She bit her lip. He'd probably come with Shikamaru. As one of Naruto's friends he was probably supposed to be the best tracker to find them quickly and not get killed too much in case Naruto had snapped. It made sense really. They probably hoped a team composed of his friends would prevent him from attacking, if they really were supposed to negotiate.
There was a crash and the sound of more fighting, but it only lasted a few seconds.
Then Naruto phased back on the branch.
At least... she thought it was Naruto. Because not only were his eyes red and his claws out, but he was on all fours and was dragging a struggling, suffocating Neji by the neck. A bruise was already blooming on the Hyuuga's jaw.
He saw Shikamaru and his upper lip curled up, baring thick fangs. "Back off, Shikamaru," he growled as he advanced slowly toward them. Sakura briefly hoped that Neji's shorts were thick, because it had to hurt to be dragged over the rough bark on his ass. /Hope he doesn't get splinters./
Slowly, very slowly, as if calming a feral animal, Shikamaru pulled his hands our of his pockets and showed them to him. "Naruto..."
"Get away from them!!!" the blond snarled, and she didn't know if that was truly Naruto any longer.
"Naruto, shut up!" she retorted, with more authority than she felt courage for. "Why are you dragging Neji like that? You're going to strangle him!!"
Shikamaru finally jumped to the trunk behind them to get out of Naruto's way, using chakra to cling to the vertical surface. Not even deigning to notice the white-knuckled grip Neji had on his wrist, the blond plopped the Hyuuga down on his ass facing Sasuke, a hand closed on his nape warningly, and crouched behind him as he leaned over his shoulder.
"Show me his Tenketsu."
Neji actually blinked, and while he still faced her and Sasuke, Sakura had the unpleasant feeling that he was staring at Naruto through his own skull. "... what?"
"The points where his chakra leave his body. Find them for me. There," Naruto added as he tore the blanket and the sweater off Sasuke and threw them behind him without even looking where they landed. Sakura swallowed a cry of protest.
"... There's blood filling up his thoracic cage and abdomen," Neji stated, jaws clenched.
The blond snarled low, threateningly, baring his fangs. A drop of blood trickled down Neji's neck where his claws had pierced the skin.
"I asked you," he purred softly, threateningly, "to show me his chakra exits. So do it."
Slowly, reluctantly, Neji activated his byakugan, then reached out and brushed his fingertips over the pinpoints Naruto had asked him to find.
Sakura watched, heart in her throat. She didn't know what Naruto was doing, or why, but she was clinging to her trust in him and her hope that somehow, he would make it alright through the sheer force of his conviction.
"And they lead to the damaged organs?"
"Yes," Neji replied. He didn't sound as resentful, now; he just sounded cold and watchful, waiting for the occasion to free himself probably.
Without replying, the blond shoved Neji out of the way to kneel at Sasuke's side. Neji just barely managed to catch himself on the next branch underneath and quickly sprang higher in the trees, out of reach. Sakura saw him pull out a kunai, and she tensed, but behind her Shikamaru made a quick 'back off' motion. The Hyuuga reluctantly stilled his attack, and mildly relieved, Sakura went back to observing Naruto.
His face was bathed in red light as his chakra crawled over his body, danced on his arms. She wanted to ask what he was doing, but there was a look of such concentration on his face that she didn't dare disturb him.
He put his fingers on the designated points, and slowly, the red chakra flowed down his hands and danced briefly on Sasuke's skin... and inside him. She watched, not understanding what he was doing, only able to wait and hope.
Finally, he lost his hold on the chakra and it flickered out, leaving him to slump and sigh loudly.
She liked him better when he wasn't bathed in flames, she decided, and when his eyes were as blue as they should be.
"Neji," Shikamaru called in a low voice as he stared at Sasuke and Naruto. The blond was panting, but Sasuke actually looked a bit less pale.
Or maybe it was wishful thinking, Sakura told herself as she tried not to hope, and looked up at Neji for confirmation.
"... Blood loss has slowed down," he admitted grudgingly. "But your chakra scalded his pathways. You won't be able to do it again."
"Don't care, so long as it buys enough time to get him to a hospital," Naruto shot back, still panting.
woulda written more, but am tired as hell.
I wrote that while fighting back sleep, so the writing's probably not that good by the end-- i know i have a lot of repeated words and i dont like that, but i havent had the time to track them down and change them. suggestions?
Sakura woke up with a muscular arm thrown over her chest again. The air was damp and a bit cold, and a few birds were trilling -- some directly over her head. Maybe she could sic Naruto on them, that would take care of breakfast.
Grunting in annoyance, the girl squirmed and buried herself in the embrace of her closest boy. Mmm, warm. She fell right asleep.
Only to be awakened a few seconds later by a shrill bird whistle in her ear.
/ARGH GODDAMN FUCK--/
"Rrrrrgh, shaddap, stupid son of a hen and a pigeon..." Naruto snarled as he unwrapped the arm around Sakura's waist to throw something toward the source of the noise. There was the sound of wings beating frantically and then a thud as a little body hit a branch. Sakura smiled beatifically.
It was a bit weird, when she thought about it, to be in Naruto's arms, because it was still weird to see him as anything else than a (sometimes rather annoying) friend, but in her fuzzily sleepy brain, it was easier to admit that at least he had nice arms. The situation was bizarre, really, and she felt like she should have freaked out, and would freak out if only she was given the option later in the day, when she was more awake, but he was so very warm -- really, he would be just fine to cuddle with during winter. Sasuke's skin was a lot cooler; she could --she blushed as she imagined daring to do that, and even more, having the permission to-- cuddle him during summer...
... now that she thought of it, maybe he was a bit too cold. As usual, he'd pulled away a little; he couldn't huddle close if his life depended on it, the /infuriating standoffish prick/ mysterious, aloof loner. She didn't want him to get sick.
"Sasuke?" she whispered as she nudged him gently.
He didn't react.
"Sasuke?" she asked again, frowning in confusion. Was he ignoring her?
His forehead was damp, his cheeks pale -- a lot paler than his usual shade, which would have seemed impossible to her.
"Sasuke?" she repeated a third time, sitting up. Naruto grunted a protest as she pulled away from him, and she resolutely ignored he blush wanting to creep on her cheeks. She would feel embarrassed later. For now, Sasuke worried her. At a glance, she could see the vein at his throat fluttering from way too rapid heartbeat, and when she reached out and took his wrist, it was just as if he didn't have a bone in his body, and he was cold. His pulse was weak, too quick.
She crouched at his side, falling back on her training and ruthlessly smothering the part of her that wanted to cry out and sob and plead Sasuke to be okay -- she'd learned better in the last years.
"Naruto, check the perimeter," she snapped without looking back at the blond, who immediately stopped rubbing his head sleepily. A second later he'd disappeared from the branch, and she could feel his chakra building, gathering as he weaved his way through the branches.
She didn't like the way Sasuke was breathing at all. It was as if every breath he took pained him, and the little hissing noise it made... no, she didn't like it at all. She lifted one of his eyelids /damn these Uchiha for having such dark eyes, how the fuck am I supposed to see his pupils?!!/ checked his limbs and neck for signs of needles or scratches -- he could have been poisoned -- then not finding any, lifted Sasuke's shirt gently to glance at his body.
And gasped. No need to look anywhere else. His chest was one big, ugly bruise. When had that happened? How ? Why hadn't he-- no, scratch that, she knew why he hadn't said anything before. Probably thought he could be strong and manly and wait the pain out instead of disturbing her -- them-- when there was such an important decision to make.
She brushed her fingers against his ribs tenderly, maybe a bit too fast -- she saw him shudder weakly, but she couldn't guess at a glance whether his ribs were in one piece or not. But the flesh was swollen in a way that implied more than surface damage.
His stomach and abdomen were ... Hard. As if he'd clenched his muscles, but he was still perfectly limp, and she searched for the diagnostic, she could almost remember it --
"Perimeter secure," Naruto informed her. His chakra was actually radiating warmth, and Sasuke started to shiver anew when a gust of hot wind caressed his skin, to be replaced a second later with the damp, cold atmosphere of the forest.
"The fire. Poke it. Then sit on his other side." Sakura ordered as she pulled the orange sweater she was wearing over her head and threw it over Sasuke's chest.
"What's wrong with him?" Naruto asked; there was a hint of a whine in his tone, and she almost snapped at him to shut up and let her think, but she knew that he was worried too.
"I don't know," she replied instead, and if it sounded like a growl, it was much more from her powerlessness than any resentment toward Naruto.
"Yesterday he said his ribs were cracked," the blond offered, his usually assured voice just a tiny bit wavering. "And Kyuubi leaned on his chest..."
"He did?!" she screeched back, though quietly. Why the hell did they never tell her these things?!! And why the hell hadn't she NOTICED?!!
/That might be the part with the self-pity and the cuddling up to strong males because you weren't able to deal on your own/ Inner Sakura offered, a lot less crude and a lot more grim than she usually was.
"But Sasuke said he was okay, that his ribs weren't broken, and he should know, we've broken enough ribs between the three of us!" Naruto replied, flinching at the rage in her voice. He looked guilty. Good, she thought with resentment. Maybe next time they'd think to communicate their status to their teammate!
"They're not broken," she replied tersely when watching Naruto cower stopped making her feel vindicated. "I think he has internal bleeding."
And it had been going on long enough that anyone else would probably be dead already, she thought, but it didn't help. Even on one of Naruto's frogs, and not counting the jounin no doubt posted between them and the village, Konoha was too far away and he needed urgent medical treatment, treatment that she wasn't qualified to give.
She looked up. She didn't need to say anything. Naruto's face was starting to mirror her own horror.
"Oh-- oh fuck..."
He started to reach out, stopped himself.
"Can we move him? I mean it won't make things worse, will it?"
She shrugged; she felt like crying. /He'll die here just as well as in your arms, idiot,/ she wanted to snarl back, but it would have been like kicking a puppy.
Naruto reached for Sasuke again to lift him -- and froze, eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring.
Without warning, she felt the scorching caress of the nine-tails' chakra, and then he disappeared with a snarl, only leaving the imprint of his feet in the bark.
A second later, she heard the twang of one of her tripwires and the faint sound of someone jumping aside to avoid her trap. It was not Naruto. Naruto would have crashed through the bushes, uncaring. She crouched protectively over Sasuke, kunai in hand. She didn't care that he was dying; she wouldn't let anyone hurt him!
"Yo, Haruno."
She had thrown her weapons before even recognizing the intruder.
Shikamaru was hanging upside-down from another tree, just a little above her level. His hands were in his pockets and he was scowling at her in that bored way of his. She was not about to trust that look on him. He was a chuunin; he was probably here on Konoha's business.
"Women are so jumpy, I swear... I come in peace, so relax," he drawled, rolling his eyes, then glanced at Sasuke and finally appeared to take the situation seriously. "What happened to Uchiha?"
"I don't know," she replied. She straightened; her hands were perfectly steady, but of course the second she noticed how well she'd held her composure, she started to shake. "He has internal bleeding though. He needs medical attention," she replied. She wondered why she was volunteering the info; maybe hoping he'd help. They were sort of friends, weren't they? Or he was friends with Naruto, at least... Even if he was there to arrest them all, he wouldn't let Sasuke die, would he? "What are you doing here?"
He leaped onto their large branch, taking his backpack off as he advanced. "Hokage-sama sent us as negotiators. There are blankets and a thermos of soup in here," he added as he gave the pack away, not even watching her as he sat on his heels and stared at Sasuke's pale, sweaty face.
"To negotiate what?" she asked, even as she pulled a blanket out and covered Sasuke. She couldn't help caressing his forehead tenderly, pushing back his long dark bangs. They were sticking to his face, he had to find that uncomfortable.
"Word back at the village is that you were taken hostage by Naruto," he replied, his voice and his whole body language indicating that he couldn't care less. But he was watching her closely, she felt it, even as she smoothed the blanket and wetted Sasuke's lips with her water.
She was about to snap back that they'd come of their own wills, thankyouverymuch, but the godawful howl that tore through the forest just then kind of made her lose track of the conversation.
"That wasn't Naruto," she mumbled, eyes wide. The voice was different -- and she didn't think anything could make him scream in pain and sound that much like a beast.
"That was Kiba," Shikamaru replied in a tense voice as he scanned the forest.
"What's Kiba --" doing here? she didn't ask, because she shouldn't talk before thinking. She bit her lip. He'd probably come with Shikamaru. As one of Naruto's friends he was probably supposed to be the best tracker to find them quickly and not get killed too much in case Naruto had snapped. It made sense really. They probably hoped a team composed of his friends would prevent him from attacking, if they really were supposed to negotiate.
There was a crash and the sound of more fighting, but it only lasted a few seconds.
Then Naruto phased back on the branch.
At least... she thought it was Naruto. Because not only were his eyes red and his claws out, but he was on all fours and was dragging a struggling, suffocating Neji by the neck. A bruise was already blooming on the Hyuuga's jaw.
He saw Shikamaru and his upper lip curled up, baring thick fangs. "Back off, Shikamaru," he growled as he advanced slowly toward them. Sakura briefly hoped that Neji's shorts were thick, because it had to hurt to be dragged over the rough bark on his ass. /Hope he doesn't get splinters./
Slowly, very slowly, as if calming a feral animal, Shikamaru pulled his hands our of his pockets and showed them to him. "Naruto..."
"Get away from them!!!" the blond snarled, and she didn't know if that was truly Naruto any longer.
"Naruto, shut up!" she retorted, with more authority than she felt courage for. "Why are you dragging Neji like that? You're going to strangle him!!"
Shikamaru finally jumped to the trunk behind them to get out of Naruto's way, using chakra to cling to the vertical surface. Not even deigning to notice the white-knuckled grip Neji had on his wrist, the blond plopped the Hyuuga down on his ass facing Sasuke, a hand closed on his nape warningly, and crouched behind him as he leaned over his shoulder.
"Show me his Tenketsu."
Neji actually blinked, and while he still faced her and Sasuke, Sakura had the unpleasant feeling that he was staring at Naruto through his own skull. "... what?"
"The points where his chakra leave his body. Find them for me. There," Naruto added as he tore the blanket and the sweater off Sasuke and threw them behind him without even looking where they landed. Sakura swallowed a cry of protest.
"... There's blood filling up his thoracic cage and abdomen," Neji stated, jaws clenched.
The blond snarled low, threateningly, baring his fangs. A drop of blood trickled down Neji's neck where his claws had pierced the skin.
"I asked you," he purred softly, threateningly, "to show me his chakra exits. So do it."
Slowly, reluctantly, Neji activated his byakugan, then reached out and brushed his fingertips over the pinpoints Naruto had asked him to find.
Sakura watched, heart in her throat. She didn't know what Naruto was doing, or why, but she was clinging to her trust in him and her hope that somehow, he would make it alright through the sheer force of his conviction.
"And they lead to the damaged organs?"
"Yes," Neji replied. He didn't sound as resentful, now; he just sounded cold and watchful, waiting for the occasion to free himself probably.
Without replying, the blond shoved Neji out of the way to kneel at Sasuke's side. Neji just barely managed to catch himself on the next branch underneath and quickly sprang higher in the trees, out of reach. Sakura saw him pull out a kunai, and she tensed, but behind her Shikamaru made a quick 'back off' motion. The Hyuuga reluctantly stilled his attack, and mildly relieved, Sakura went back to observing Naruto.
His face was bathed in red light as his chakra crawled over his body, danced on his arms. She wanted to ask what he was doing, but there was a look of such concentration on his face that she didn't dare disturb him.
He put his fingers on the designated points, and slowly, the red chakra flowed down his hands and danced briefly on Sasuke's skin... and inside him. She watched, not understanding what he was doing, only able to wait and hope.
Finally, he lost his hold on the chakra and it flickered out, leaving him to slump and sigh loudly.
She liked him better when he wasn't bathed in flames, she decided, and when his eyes were as blue as they should be.
"Neji," Shikamaru called in a low voice as he stared at Sasuke and Naruto. The blond was panting, but Sasuke actually looked a bit less pale.
Or maybe it was wishful thinking, Sakura told herself as she tried not to hope, and looked up at Neji for confirmation.
"... Blood loss has slowed down," he admitted grudgingly. "But your chakra scalded his pathways. You won't be able to do it again."
"Don't care, so long as it buys enough time to get him to a hospital," Naruto shot back, still panting.
woulda written more, but am tired as hell.
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weird to see him as anything else than a (sometimes --This is a little grammar thing. I think "other than" instead of "else than" would probably sound more natural.
Other than that, very cool. I look forward to more, believe me. :)
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I couldn't find anything wrong! Not even any petty grammar mistakes. The only bad thing is that there isn't more. *whines* Good luck with the continued writing!
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"Sasuke?" she repeated a third time, sitting up. Naruto grunted a protest as she pulled away from him, and she resolutely ignored he blush wanting to creep on her cheeks.
Missed the 't' in 'the.' That's the only thing I noticed, though sarolynne's suggestion does have a smoother flow to it.
Loved Kiba's scream. Sends pretty little scenarios running through my imagination. Someone will have to help him while he heals, yes? Thank you for the nice pondering material that shall definitely help me get to sleep. ^_^ May you be blessed with yaoi-ful dreams
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*types more* slave drivers everywhere, i swear... XD
(hear me complaining when poked by readers, as if the scene wasn't pulling to get out x_x)
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This means you shall review every teamwork tidbit I post, now, you do realize that? *rubs hands and laughs evilly*
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corrected, thank you! ^^
ahh, kiba's not THAT badly hurt.
I think. lemme think of the ramifications. *ponders*
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Good luck with writing the rest of the chapter.
May your muses not be like mine an send you on a mad google search for the names of weapons. Like, watch are those short knives called? Because "knife" would be too vanilla a word. And what's a ninja sword called? As I recall, it's not just a katana. I can't write when I need to find these things out!
(It's a tanto, by the way, unless it doesn't have a hand guard, or a woman is using it. And the sword is either a ninja-to, or a shinobiagatana. Horay for google!)
Er. *takes her babbling elsewhere* Have fun writing! Good luck with the next scene.
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"Kiba, there's not any blood."
"Shut up, Shino! He bit me! Acted like I was some pup to disiplin!"
"Kiba-kun? Your neck is," Hinata trailed off with a blush staining her pale cheeks.
"Ah! Stop smirking, Shino! I know you're doing it even if I can't see it! What if I bit you?"
. . .
Rawr. ^_^ I'm all done. You kept me up last night, and now you somehow made me a fan of Team 8. Not as cool at Team 7, but.. still holds the possibility for lots of fun.
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(Hm... Asuka, where can I dl the series? I've got all this space and a nifty CD burner, I may as well use 'em...)
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NarutoFan (http://www.narutofan.com/) is the best place I've found to dl the manga and/or torrent the anime.
*pokes at her previous note* Silly me, spelling things all wrong again. Oh well! I'm going to go entertain the thought.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
askerian, thanks again! I enjoy your writing so much. ^_^
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Ninja-to looks much easier to remember. XD luckily neither of the team seven members use one. *snerk* (well, except in the credits, i guess...)
And the next scene is... hnn. weird. i hate writing Neji, just so you know.
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I like team shika better. *snerks self to death*
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I'm I the biggest perv for getting all hot and bothered when Naruto goes all feral and territorial over his lovers?
Sasuke is an idiot, but at least, he is only a macho idiot in this fic as opposed to being such an ass in the series and the manga at the moment.
I adore Sakura's inner monologue, her inner bitch is alot more enertaining that the latest D.I.D. she has been playing in canon.
//infuriating standoffish prick//, yup, love might be blind but it is not deaf and dumb.
Naruto as a winterwarm cuddle buddy, another reason never to get out of bed.
*We should get up*
/Five more minutes, Sakura-chan/
*You said that ten minutes ago, Naruto*
/But I don't wanna...too comfortammhhh/
*stop that... it tickles when you do that..*
/... you smell so sweet and nice and warm, I like waking up like this/
*We should really get up*
/Five more minutes, Sakura-channn/
*humph... more over, Naruto*
/............../
*..............*
/............../
*.....we should get up, you know Naruto.*
/............./
*Naru-...Naruto arr you listening to me?*
/........then get up...i'm..still...sleepinmhh./
*I don't want to*
/....Then why do you keep saying we need to?/
*I said we SHOULD get up, not that I want to. It is too cold, besides*
/Then I'll keep you warm./
*what naru-Naruto.. you big oof!*
/Better?/
*hump, better, yeah*
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Cheers,
Liz