askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
In Which A Secret Mutantblood Unknowingly Picks Up A Member Of The Nobility In A Bar Of Ill-Repute, After Which They Proceed To Have Sex, Fall Asleep, Then Have Sex Again While The Mutant Desperately Tries To Hide His Blood Color And Not Laugh At The Blueblood's Deplorable Jokes. Contains References To Ashen Pornography, A Somewhat Pitiable Inability To Handle The Gloriousness Of War, And Mentions Of Conciliatory Perversions Unsuitable For Trolls Aged Eight Or Under.

((btw I’m going with indigo-Equius, purple-Gamzee, violet-Eridan.))

--

"Dude," someone mutters against his neck. "Dude, your communicator is beeping."

Karkat blinks away the afterimage of his dreams -- some boring cliché horsebeastshit about wading through a mess of alien larvae during a mission. It's dark in the recuperacoon, but a faint greenish glow comes from outside.

The slime isn't great, but better than they get in the barracks; it would be easy to sink back into its embrace...

He doesn't care about the dream (terrified pupae, gore squelching under the tread of his combat boots) and he does vaguely want to find out if the other troll pressed against his side would let him sink into his arms again (maybe his nook, even, shit, that part of yesterday was good.) Hey, the guy didn't steal Karkat's wallet or cull him during the day, Karkat likes his odds.

"Dude," the man mumbles, eyes entirely closed, and disappears under the surface with a quiet glop. His horns emerge from the orange up, two windswept, rolling curves that Karkat is almost (vaguely, entirely) sure he had his hands on at some point...

Karkat grabs the edge with both hands and fits his feet in the holds and executes a smooth-as-hell roll through the round opening.

(He lands on his heels and stumbles back, but the wall of the recuperacoon breaks his fall before he can get very far.)

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

*eyes fic*

... Eh, I've written pornier.

I'm sure. Somewhere.

novidactyl asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair♥) 2.Flush 3.Pornstar AU w/ smuppets for Bro's website (humanstuck or normal species are both fantastic)
--

"And really, in the digital age, with shit like tumblr and reddit around, what's going to touch the most people, boring long-ass sermons, or streaming free porn clips that fuck with hemocastist expectations and contain gleeful and unapologetic quadrant-smearing?"

On the other side of his bed, unzipping his pants, Signless laughed quietly. "Bro, I've already agreed to film this movie with you."

Bro shrugged, nodded, kept ogling. The guy's pants would be hilarious if he didn't fill them so well. Bro was also a fan of the zipper being placed on the side, from under the arm to the hip; the way it unveiled him as the cloth fell away was especially interesting.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
For cyphercat/Laylah's birthday! Sequel to Uniform Kink, a Karkat/Equius D/s pesterlog.

This fic contains Dom/sub dynamics, consensual verbal humiliation kink, boot/foot worship, xeno, and self-penetration, and is most def. not safe for work. 6500 words.

It hasn't been betaread yet, so please forgive any mistakes you may find (but if you feel like telling me where to find 'em so I can fix 'em, that'd also be awesome.)

--

The first thing Karkat thinks after the body has rolled off the edge of the dinner table and landed with a jarring thud on his boots is oh well, Equius will be happy; the second is Wonder if I should let him, don't know where this asshole has been.
Breaking to Saddle )

And a coda/epilogue, because I could.

Coda )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
(not that this is the only chapter that contains porn, just that it's the only chapter that contains nothing but. reminder that this is xeno.)

--
Dave is in the process of cleaning after lunch (read: putting takeout boxes inside each other in order of size, with dirty paper napkins stuffed in the cracks) when his phone rings.

"Don't quit police work for journalism," is the first thing his brother tells him.

"Wow, I love you too, Dirkiepoo. My article on the buying habits of demons in grocery stores was a success and everyone knows it."

Karkat looks up at hearing the word; Dave shrugs at him. His demon is elbow-blade-deep in a marshmallow bag. It's already half empty. On second thought perhaps Dave shouldn't have let him choose the one he wanted.

"We got complaints from the vendor, you scared his other customers off."

"Pff, he'll sing another tune when everyone wants to buy shit from his store because it was once patroned by the illustrious Karkat Vantas. Also I asked him if it was okay before coming in and he said yes, so hey, it's all on him."

"You said 'service animal', you asshole," Karkat says, loud enough for the phone to pick up. Dirk scoffs. "You said, 'hello, Detective Strider, do you mind if I come in with my service animal, don't want to leave him in the street.' I should have chosen a bigger bag."

"There was no bigger, Jesus, Karkat, you could stuff your head in that and still have room for a shoulder. Anyway, Dirk, what do you want, answer is no, I'm on leave. Captain said so, you can't make me."

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
The first coherent thought Dave has upon waking up is fuck yeah three days' leave, so he goes straight back to sleep.

The second coherent thought he has, about a hour later, is shit want to pee don't want to brave the ladder dilemma.

The third is old soda bottle in the corner? And the fourth is Rose will know somehow, I'll never live it down.

At any rate, he is awake. He cracks open his eyes, gazes at the slanted ceiling, stretches his legs. Shit yeah futon. Missed you, buddy. His back hardly hurts today.

Of course he kind of hurts everywhere else. But it's a low-grade, stealthy kind of soreness. He figures so long as he doesn't move an inch it'll have no reason to get worse. Maybe he can get Karkat to fetch stuff for him.

Something is breathing nearby.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
What Asuka wanted: a quick silly smut-tastic xenolicious demon summoner/demon davekat AU pr0n thing.

What Asuka got: every character ever telling her who they were and what they were doing in this AU EVEN ALPHA DAVE AND ROSE SERIOUSLY???, three tons of setup, shiny shiny “what this demon character wants/needs sacrificed to offer their services” oh dear lord meulin’s is EVIL, Dave and Latula bonding, Kankri???, a war between hell dimensions and the ~mortal plane~, and only the quickest bit of tease followed by OH WELP I JUST REMEMBERED THIS WOULD BE V.V. DUBCON AND I AM NOT A DOUCHE LET ME SET THIS UP TO ANGST LONG AND HARD AT LATER DATE.

but oh lord do I love urban fantasy and potential apocalypses. awgh. Also Rose and her stable of demons aaahhh. Also the potential for “why is this hoooot” whimpering from Dave when Terezi-wearing-Rose hits on him.Also the Rose/Sollux. Also the Rose/Vriska why does she get all the bitches.

*kicks at the bunny hutch* STOP BREEDING YOU HORNY MOTHERFUCKERS.

Wonder if i could just go with “hey okay i needed the set up NOW I CAN TURN THIS INTO A PORN ‘VERSE”… *squints thoughtfully*


So... this. Pure silly self-indulgence, also a teaser, no promise that i'll continue it because i'm evil and also i have no plot and am just typing along. >__>;

Warnings: Dave/Karkat, a BIT more xeno than xeno usually means in this fandom (there’s no porn yet, i hope soon, but when it does i’ll certainly be dubcon.) Somewhat Master/slave dynamics. (if petstuck fics bother you this is probably going to hit the same buttons.)

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
And this one I am posting separately because 1) SURPRISE PORN WTF? and 2) 4000 words long what i said short, anon.

Anonymous asked you:
dave/karkat, mortifying teenagers

--

Karkat liked the god village relatively well, for all that the amenities had been built by people who thought a hole in the ground with a plank across it was fancy for a loadgaper.

Okay, he was being unfair.

Fuck being unfair.

Today he liked the village for one thing only. Not the defensibleness or the gorgeous view or the lack of monsters or the pleasant, not charbroiling sunlight.

His hive's backdoor was only thirty steps away from Dave's, and he could even do most of the trip behind some bushes, in case of nosy neighbors. At an angry stomp he crossed them decently fast.

BANG BANG BANG. "Strider! Drag yourself off your depraved concupiscent platform and ooze your way to the sadly nonfucking, celibate door now before I take it off its hinges! It'll be a poor virgin door for life, Strider, and your house will have a hole in it for the dust and the birds to fly in and I will laugh, Strider! I will fucking laugh! I'll laugh so hard I might break a vocal vibratory string and will have to continue pouring wisdom and orders in thine ears at point blank fucking range, are you looking forward to that because I sure am, Strider!"

"'sup," said a slice of Strider, appearing in the barely cracked-open door from eye down to a hint of hip. "It wasn't locked, you tool."

"Some of us are afflicted with this sickness called politeness that means we don't just waltz into other people's hives," Karkat replied, because of course he hadn't thought to check the handle. Dave rolled red eyes at him.

Oh hey no shades today. Huh. ... Huh.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
Summary: Magnetic Wodka has more side-effects than you'd expect. Fortunately, John and Jade are enterprising and adventurous souls willing to help Karkat explore them.

Contains: A threesome (F/M/M) - porny xeno shenanigans (tentabulge + nook combo w00t) - double penetration (:3) - underage drinking - a horrific strap-on - being silly with video game mechanics - a Dreambubble. (Does not contain twincest.)

10 500 words.

One minute Karkat was shuffling random odds and ends out of a cupboard in the meteor's lab-kitchen looking for that mythical last package of Instant Grubcorns, the next he was standing like a dumbass on space-black brittle rock, a bottle of Magnetic Wodka in hand and lakes of blood all around.

Pulse and Haze. Joy. )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
Summary: Magnetic Wodka has more side-effects than you'd expect. Fortunately, John and Jade are enterprising and adventurous souls willing to help Karkat explore them.

Contains: A threesome (F/M/M) - porny xeno shenanigans (tentabulge + nook combo w00t) - double penetration (:3) - underage drinking - a horrific strap-on - being silly with video game mechanics - a Dreambubble. (Does not contain twincest.)

10 500 words.

One minute Karkat was shuffling random odds and ends out of a cupboard in the meteor's lab-kitchen looking for that mythical last package of Instant Grubcorns, the next he was standing like a dumbass on space-black brittle rock, a bottle of Magnetic Wodka in hand and lakes of blood all around.

Pulse and Haze. Joy. )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
The Kink Meme strikes again!

(Btw it now has moved to dreamwidth. Finding all those prompts I was planning to eventually fill will be awkward, and even reposting the old prompts, since the mods have apparentlyhidden all anon comments on LJ and most prompts ARE anon. argh. >:/ but nevermind.)

Prompt: delicious troll sandwich with human filling.
would love you forever, dear anons, if karkat was the one to suggest it but terezi makes it happen.
alien nook/bulge combo very much welcome.
DP isn't required, but if it is a thing that happens, loud dave losing his cool would make this 1000000 times hotter.
bonus - feel free to make multiple orgasms a thing. don't mind realism for humans here. (or just insert explanation of how it is possible thanks to some alien thing, either works). and troll stamina.
double bonus is dave is used as a bucket and it's treated as a lewd kink that turns the troll on even more


There is no actual porn in this part of the fic. I'm going on vacation for two weeks on monday and won't have internet access, so IDK if I'll have it finished before I go and once I'm gone not much writing might happen and there will definitely not be posting. ;_;

So today you only get the lead-up pesterlog, which might also be a standalone thing. Let's call it a prologue or a teaser or something. XD

GC: 1F YOU GUYS FORC3 M3 TO FL1P 4SH3N 4ND TH3R3FOR3 D3PR1V3 M3 OF 4LL TH4T 4CROB4T1C S3XU4L CONGR3SS W3 S1GN3D ON FOR *TH3 PUN1SHM3NT SH4LL F1T TH3 CR1M3 3X4CTLY*
GC: BY WH1CH 1 M34N MY C4N3 H1D3S TWO R3C3NTLY-SH4RP3N3D BL4D3S 4ND 1T S3R3ND1P1TOUSLY H4PP3NS TH4T B3TW33N TH3 TWO OF YOU YOU GUYS H4V3 TWO BON3BULG3S
GC: WH1CH M1GHT NOT ST4Y TH3 C4S3 LONG

Clusterfuck )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For a prompt on the Kink Meme. prompter asked for a troll/kid pairing where the troll was actually seen as intimidating/potentially dangerous (no abuse though!). 700 words of John thinking about what he finds sexy. Woo. Alas no onscreen smut, but suggestive.

You're pretty sure he was cuter three years ago. )

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