askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
second half is still halfway written. this is still a pretty nice chunk of fic, about 14k.

--

John reached the hangars at a dead run. Marcia was waiting with a pickup truck; he jumped on the open back and she floored the gas. He held onto the roof as she drove through piles of crates and past hurriedly backing off mechanics, riding the bumps and swerves.

"Flight suit!" she snapped, and grabbed a bundle of cloth on the seat beside her to push it through the cab's back window at John. He stuck it under his arm just as she swerved right, almost flinging him off, and then suddenly they were pacing Warhammer's immense, prone shape as it was moved onto rails toward the launch shuttle.

John didn't have time to put his flight suit on. He stuck a corner of it between his teeth, climbed onto the cab's roof; Marcia matched her speed to the flatcar and John jumped to Warhammer's wrist. He was running up the slope of its arm in the next second.

The rails made the whole frame vibrate, but not too badly. John threw himself in a controlled slide along his mech's chest plate, slapped a hand down on the cockpit door lock, and let himself fall backward through the opening, spine first into his seat.

Oof. Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
In Which Byrd Sprite Strider Chats in Logs, Fulfills Some Shipping Charts, and Discovers the Joys of Twincest (Not Really.) Not Suitable to Trolls of Seven Sweeps of Under for a Somewhat Libertine Approach to Feelings Jams.

--

TA: yeah your human poliice and mediiterrorii2t2 have them iin 2ome buiildiing2. but the healthy one2 are 2uppo2ed to be relea2ed 2oonii2h.
TA: 2orry ii can't explaiin iit better, your legale2e ii2 even more annoyiing than our2.
TA: ii feel 2o fuckiing 2tupiid not beiing able to par2e that 2hiit, god. iit'2 not even liike iit'2 anythiing compliicated!!
GT: Shoosh shoosh my good man! Your brain is still stupendous amounts of brilliant even at its most rambunctious!
GT: Why if being unable to parse these makes you a fool then what am i right? Haha.
TG: you shooshin him now wow what does aradia think of this
TA: thiink2 iit2 fuckiing hiilariiou2 that of all thiing2 to piick up from her he cho2e that one of fuckiing cour2e. ii mean iit2 AA, what el2e?
GT: Why what is wrong with wishing to soothe my good pal sollux in the quaint and friendly manner of his people???
TG: nothing buddy
TG: yeah absolutely nothing
TG: mentioning this for no reason at all but its amazing how you can really feel karkats absence in this chatroom somehow
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For a too-long moment you're struck completely dumb. You kneel there like a tool with a cat on your shoulder and a cat on your head as gunshots keep cracking on the deck above.

Running steps, several, heavy, and you can't really tell but you can tell anyway, they're not any of yours.

Steps on the stairs. You throw yourself back into the laundry room, your hand up to keep Gcat from falling. He slips anyway to become your new kitty hat, his paws on your shades knocking them askew and those are automatic guns outside so you captchalogue them, hat-cat and ear-warmer-cat both. (You tag them FELINE OVERLORDS for sylladex indexing purposes.) You just, nowhere fuckin' else to put them and ooooh fuck, where are you supposed to hide in here, the light's still on. You slap it off but the corridor still has little lights on so you can't come out, and then you hear them, one person, two.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
mitsuhachiinthehive asked: Jade c3< karkat c3< sollux, first kiss
--

"Umm, I don't need to be a troll to notice that hating on each other makes you guys miserable."

Karkat stood silent in the computer lab, a hand pressed to his mouth. Beside him Sollux was half-swooned over the back of his chair, head still hanging back as he stared up at Jade behind him.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Ashen wedding! Eridan and Rose set up their extravagant ashen commitment ceremony to Karkat. Without Karkat. This is not the smoothest process in the world.

(link is not a real link. idk why sites always try to make it a real link. it is fakey mc fake.)
--

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] started trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

CA: tellin ya noww the links you sent me all suck an i refuse to spend a dime on any a them
CA: puttin that on the table wwhere wwe can both see it
TT: It sits on the table and stares back stonily, and then hops off and disappears where the overdone metaphors go off to die.
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
-- truncatedGrip [TG] has returned from idle! --

AA: haha didnt you just fall asleep five hours ago?? at least if i interpret the sudden idleness right
TG: i did
TG: i so fucking did
AA: i thought vacations were for "sleeping and fucking timezones up the left nostril with all the force of your time swag until theyre flipping like a breakfast paste disk and dont know what the fuck"
TG: you have learned well padawan
TG: my asshole man lusus stays an ignoramus completely willingly

"Byrd, two minutes!"

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
sequel to A Classical Work of Paranormal Romance
---

CG: BY THE WAY.
CG: I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU HAVE NOT A) DRAGGED ME INTO SOME VAMPIRES/WEREWOLVES OR VAMPIRES/HUNTERS WAR, AND B) FORGOTTEN I MIGHT CARE TO BE TOLD IF YOU WERE AT WAR WITH ANY ASSHOLES OUT HERE AND *IN DEATHLY DANGER.*
CG: IF I AM SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND THEN I DAMN WELL DESERVE TO KNOW.
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
mitsuhachiinthehive asked: Petstuck! Equikat? Tnnf-verse would be really cute, but other situations might also be shiny.

(a troll not named fuckass) (nooo he’s a baby forever ;_; have some baby cuteness yes)

I AM DONE SPAMMING. \o/

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
princessofblood asked: Jadekat AU for your crash standing verse?

(crash standing is all about making davesprite happy! such a cruel prompt XD)

900 words of pesterlog.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
ok, i dunno if it’s worth much — i liked some of the lines a lot but i don’t know how strong it is as a whole piece. but it’s finished and aaaaaaa. so here it is.

This is part of the Covalent Bonds ‘verse, a post-game everyone is trolls on Alternia thing. And yes, Caliborn is now a troll, and really hates it.

(i did the quirks by hand so i might have missed a few. will reread & fix before i post on AO3)

--

-- undyingUmbrage [uu] started trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
... training for voice/quirks whee.

THE QUICK BROWN FLUFF-TAILED YIPBEAST JUMPS OVER THE LAZY FUCKING BARKBEAST. A QUICK MOVEMENT OF THE ENEMY WILL JEOPARDIZE SIX GUNBOATS THAT WE CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE, TAINTSNIFF, DID YOU GET YOUR THINKSPONGE FREE WITH A BOX OF DRY BREAKFAST GRUBS? THE FIVE BOXING WIZARDS HOP TO IT QUICKLY, AS THEY DAMN WELL SHOULD.

The quick 9chre fluff-tailed yip6east jumps 9ver the d9g which we sh9uld n9t call lazy until we learn whether it has perhaps s9me pers9nal issue 9r differing level 9f a6leness that requires he judici9usly c9nserve his energy. A quick m9vement 9f the enemy will je9pardize six gun69ats, 6ut the false dich9t9my 9f enemy and ally is truly the m9st destructive part 9f this mindset trigger warnings f9r war and intimati9ns 9f expl9si9ns, 9pen sea, dr9wning, and littering. The five 69xing wizards jump quickly, h9pefully t9 av9id injuring each 9ther as this martial pastime is rather vi9lent 6y nature even despite s9-called pr9tective gl9ves, as it seeks t9 mimic regretta6ly real practices that, while at the m9ment useful t9 redirect m9re harmful urges, sh9uld ideally 6e entirely phased 9ut 9f s9ciety in the near future.

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
a quick movement of the enemy will jeopardize six gunboats!! guess they wont need individual corpseboxes then
the five boxing wizards jump quickly guess you could say theyre ... hopping to it! 0u0 ribbit

the brown fox fuck the lazy dog quickly, lazy dog lay there barely notice his tiny pencil dick
fast wrecking shit sinks six waterbitch floating vessels
five wizards should box their genitals and moan at delicious pain then make man train and ball tickle with their beards


rest of alpha and beta trolls under there )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
CHAPTER COMPLETE BOOYAH.

also huge. Like over 75 pages long in Word/30k words huge. I don't think it's gonna fit on LJ otherwise than in at least seven pieces, so... i'm gonna be lazy and just post a link, i think. :X

JN: Hi, John. )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For this kink meme prompt:
So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

Contains: trollstuck human characters, pale ephebophilia/age difference issues, Bro being juuuust a little creepy.

Also background Dave/Terezi/Karkat shenanigans. Because I could. >__>

ghastlyTrickster [GT] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG] )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Day 14.
--

You wake up, roll over, and there is some more bed to roll onto, nary a hard floor rising to smack your face after a tiny half-wriggle. A long, gorgeous stretch of (vaguely starchy) cool, empty sheets stretch under your hand, your heels.

You make a starfish. Just because you can.

You are a very smug starfish. You don't even care you're a lopsided one.

Also your brain is half-awake and stupid from going to bed at three AM but fuck that. You spend another ten minutes staring at the ceiling, a dopey and uncool smile spreading on your face without your permission and who cares, nobody will see.

Your stomach is starting to whimper about being empty, though, and your bladder is throwing a bitchfit about being too full. With a sigh, you get up, wobble to the cramped sink-shower-toilet Rubik's Cube closet that pretends to be a bathroom. Can't turn around without smacking your elbow on shit; feels just like home.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Done spamming for today. Phew.
--

Petstuck, once again for the kink meme though there's no sex at all in it. Petstuck AU, which means trolls are sentient-ish animals. This is not a fic about adressing everything that is wrong with owning sentient beings and activism to save their asses, those have been written already. It’s early days in troll ownership yet and not a lot is known about them.

Jade accidentally adopts a young, orphaned troll, much against the wishes of her long-suffering boyfriend. Horrible cuteness ensues.

'Bec,' Jade asks very patiently, like the totally understanding dog lady she is, 'why is there a baby troll riding you like a pony?' )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
In this part, Karkat♠John and John♦Vriska.

Will likely be more fics in this 'verse.

I wanted one for Jade but she was disturbingly competent and doesn't even live near any people to have culture clashes with. *disgruntled*

--

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

CG: ALRIGHT, YOU FESTERING SHITWHIFF.
CG: IT IS THE EVENING OF THE THIRD DAY WE HAVE BEEN OUT OF THAT HELL-FORGED GAME.
CG: AND THE THIRD DAY YOUR FREAKISH BROWN MUG HAS BEEN CONSIDERABLY IMPROVED, BY THE BY.
CG: YOU GOT ONLINE. YOU WERE THEREFORE NOT DEAD ON ARRIVAL.
CG: AFTER DUE PRESSURE VRISKA TELLS ME YOU HAVE BEEN COMMUNICATING WITH HER. YOU THEREFORE DID NOT DIE AFTERWARDS IN SOME LUDICROUS PAIL-RELATED INCIDENT.
CG: HAVING ESTABLISHED THAT YOU ARE ALIVE AND IN POSSESSION OF UNBROKEN KEY-POKING FRONDS, *WHY HAVE YOU NOT BEEN TO ANY OF THE FUCKING CHATROOMS*, JOHN ASSHAT WHINEBUTT EGBERT.
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Warning for sexual harassment.

--

Troll wifi sucks, is what Dave decides after twenty very calm, very rational minutes spent sitting on his ass in slimy heart-patterned boxers fiddling with his iShades, then his iPhone, and his suddenly not floating anymore turntop.

(It still works, it just won't stay up, and it's heavy on his knees.)

He'd use the desktop but his house has no power either. The lights won't turn on. His blinds aren't the best, though; outside there's billboards and shit, so he can see fine.

Maybe a little too fine.

He ain't complaining.

"Okay," he says to the walls -- good walls, best listeners, they didn't even mind when he was flipping his sh -- no, he was calm from the start, yes, he was. Anyway the walls are cool, they don't judge. "I need to go and fix this shit, if it can be fixed, and if I can't I need to find someone who can. Yep. That's the plan."

Interacting with strangers isn't something he looks forward to, but who knows what happened to Jade or John, the naive bastards, they know even less about trolls than he does and they're sure to land themselves in deep shit. Someone needs to come to the rescue.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Post-game 'verse, troll!kids.

--

She wakes cradled in a womb.

It is dark in here, and wet warmth cocoons her, steals all gravity; she floats.

Her first thought is, well fuck. Growing up all over again is going to be so tedious.

She's read so many short stories with this exact premise -- reincarnation, and the slow erasure of the old self into the immaturity of synapses, unfinished neural pathways, preferable maybe to the madness one might succumb to after years of being trapped in a body that cannot move and fight and even focus its eyes on things farther than its own hands, that cannot communicate or be communicated with. She finds it so vexing; she kicks, swift as the thick liquid around her will allow it.

Bonk.

Ow.

This was not a flesh wall.

Read more... )

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