Life and Times of Teh Asuka

Color and animation by ashdenej on a sketch done by Andrew Hussie (yes really XD)

And then Jesse reblogged mentioning he wanted to see that AU.

I would never have seen this glorious thing without him, so. I was like okay that should be a simple little drabble and the pic is hilarious and it’s really fun spending three hours hashing out who's who for background that'll never even show up in the story anyway.

Seven thousand words later...! :X

Oneshot, complete, Dave?Karkat?John, woo quadrant confusion.

--

Karkat blamed it all on Missus Jane.

He had a lot of time to review it in his mind, and while most of his attention was taken up by rage and mortal terror the rest of his brain could still follow a chain of causality to the source, thank you very much. The logic was flawless.

Jane English worked at the bakery. Jane made amazing bread, amazing cakes, and amazing food in general. So amazing that the nearby saloon had given up trying to compete, and gone into business with the bakery -- which resulted in the saloon owner's younger son, David Burt Strider, doing deliveries.

To, among other places, Karkat's ranch. (Well, Missus Peixes' ranch, at which he worked. But.)

"Faster, damn you, faster, we'll lose him in the canyons!"

So Karkat could already blame meeting that lusus-haired, stone-faced varmint in the first place on Missus Jane. And meeting him ... again, and again, and again, for the daily deliveries, because somehow it had become his job to receive them and his coworkers refused to let him foist it off on them, not even if he offered to trade for stable mucking seriously what in tarnation.

Hell. On. Earth.

"Faster, huh? Got me an idea that'll help with that. Jump off and run!"

"Fuck you sideways with a rusty spur."

"Not on my poor innocent horse, Vantas, for shame."

Jane English, née Crocker, was also the young and lovely wife of one Jake English, grandson of sheriff English. That only mattered insofar as linking him to the existence of Jade Harley, Sheriff English's other grandchild. (Small-town bingo; every single human was somehow linked to someone else in some strange nonsensical way. Karkat couldn't blame Jane for Jade. Jade was okay, and not only because she'd put some steel in Tavros' spine by some arcane means none of the trolls understood but which made them all quite envious of the results of having a human for a palemate.)

(Then again, for a human, Jade Harley made a pretty good troll.)

(End digression.)

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit not over the trunk Strider do not go over the trunk I will fall I will take you with me --"

Jane English, née Crocker, also happened to be related somehow by ways Karkat did not give half a fuck about to a preacher man in want of a parish.

Who had a son.

Who had a son who had by ways of Jade Harley gotten introduced to Dave Strider, who had then decided to introduce him to Karkat.

Well, actually, "don't flatter yourself, nubbly, any troll would do. Can you believe in those so-called Civilized Territories they don't really believe you good fellows exist."( Read more... )

No title yet. Hm. title found!

This fic contains: whining i mean existential angst, horrendous amounts of schmoop, gratuitious headcanons, Signless being a goddamn quadrant hippie, Jade failing for a second time to emerge from the background >:(, Signless/Disciple adorableness.

3 200 words. Directly follows Sunlight.

( You've been out of the loop for hundreds, thousands of sweeps. The world you tried so hard to fix has been unmade. You feel irrelevant. )

11k words. Adi/book_people is the best beta there is. I will fight you on this. è.é

There are certain expectations in troll society about taking in a freeloader with no place to go, as Dad Egbert finds out when he offers to host two of his son's stranded friends post-game.

Hurt/comfort. Deals with culture clashes, potential noncon & ephebophilia. Nothing's described in lovingly graphic detail but it's a bit clearer than "you'd have to be telepathic to understand what this refers to." Also contains graphic declarations of moirallegiance and horrendous pale sap, as well as the regular kind. (this is a diamond ship, not a heart one! the title bar didn’t want me to make one in there. sad.)

( Original prompt (bit of a spoiler. If you need to know for sure about the noncon situation, it's under here. if not, proceed to the next cut.) )

( He's taken them in and is feeding them on his hard-won money and hiding them from the police, the military, and he's given them a whole block of his hive to themselves. His favorite block, even. And they have nothing to repay him with. )

And by collaborative storytelling I really mean cybering.

This was written for, uh. My own prompt on the kink meme actually, that I left a few months back and no one used it and it just so happens this week is Fill Some Goddamn Prompts Instead of Making New Ones week over there. So.

(...) turns out they have somewhat of a reluctant crush on the same person.

I just really, really, really want Karkat as the filling in a Prospit Twins sandwich. Either as a shared fantasy/collaborative storytelling about how it would theoretically go down, or as something they eventually do implement when they get to meet again.

This wasn't as porny and detailed as I wanted it to be, but they decided to be bashful on me. :(

Warnings for: pseudoincest vibes, cybersex, awkward teenagers being awkward, log fic.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 --

GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early!
EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to
EB: GAH
GG: :O ???
EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.

( Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling )

On AO3
On the Kink Meme
Original prompt.

This was for a prompt that, translated from Homestuckese into plain english, is basically "asexual BFFs 'porn' plz!" only the actual prompt was more like "okay the trolls are stuck on a meteor for a year or three so they don't have internet so they don't have PORN so they start kinda watching each other." Since this is about the BFF relationship (moirallegiance AKA pale quadrant AKA the one where your buddy keeps you from losing your shit) and not either lovesex or hatesex, it's not actually porny or naughty or all that kinky. For human values of such. Okay where was I going with that.

-I hate writing Sol's lisp, let's pretend he still lacks a few teeth and only uses it when stressed out and not paying attention. Yes. Let's.
-Some kind of Veil limbo where all trolls are alive (again?) yet Gamzee and Karkat are already together somehow. Don't think about it too hard.
-for supposedly genfic, this has a bit of a voyeur/exhib vibe going on. Just saying.

~3 000 words.

( Of course he'd caught the little glances. Sneaky or not, they'd been going on for perigees now; he would have had to be blind, and also to be hit on the head with something heavy and not skull-friendly. )

For the polyship Advent prompts: prompt 8, Ice and Snow.

Sephiroth POV, divergent timeline. SephZackCloudAeris polyamorous tangle.

Is it a mission disguised as a vacation? Or a vacation disguised as a mission? When Rufus is involved, who knows. At Icicle Inn, Sephiroth gets in some bonding time with his Significant Other, and his Significant Other's own Significant Others. (now say that three times fast.)

Fic's a little messy IMHO because of course I started with "i'll just write a quick 500 words ficlet at Icicle Inn" and ended up with tons of background and scenebits and god knows what that I had to somehow stuff in one scene or else I wouldn't be done before december next year, BUT. I still like it.

( Once Removed )

yeah um, the icon? is me staring at my muses.

I need a title for this thing...

( 'Mariemeya, you're fourteen.' 'You were married at fourteen!' 'Not to someone seven years older!' )

Okay, so that was started a few months back for that kink meme.

Team Hebi OT4! I don't care who tops who as long as all of them are present.

If foursome isn't enough of a kink, feel free to add restraints (no hard D/s though) and/or cross-dressing.

And then of course I added so much setup and the porn is stalling, so. This is the first half, the setup half, the second will be done as soon as I convince Sasuke that he's still seme if he rides Suigetsu like a pony. >_>;; Which uhh yeah. Might be a while.

First time I write Juugo, and I probably suck at Karin and Suigetsu too. If you find anything OOC, or if there are mistakes or typos or whatever you think needs fixing, plz tell me. ♥

Warning, the bunny was started when Karin's official hair color wasn't out yet, and since it's kind of a plot point I haven't changed it back.

( team hebi luvins yay -- INCOMPLETE VERSION )