Life and Times of Teh Asuka

teamwork review:
I just reread the first story and am rereading the second one...please don't have Sakura marry Sasuke...Oh pretty please?

leeeeeeeet me think about thaDENIED.

=________=

Though maybe she's afraid I'll emphasize the sasusaku side so much that the narusaku and/or the narusasu will fall by the wayside and then Naruto will be all alone as they float off in wedded bliss. Which is kind of funny because that's exactly what will happen!

IN NARUTO'S HEAD.



I would have a lot less of an instant *twitch* at this review if she actually explained why, like a plot-related reason, some trope she saw done wrong or that tends to imply unfortunate things and is therefore a pitfall she wants to make sure I avoid.

Because looking at her profile she's a yaoi only girl. Huh... Who doesn't like romance in stories... like there's zero in teamwork as it is? Granted it's kind of more action and character oriented than "oh my love the fruit of our union is growing in your ripening belly i can see our forever in your eyes~" but STILL.

(actually it's probably not romantic ENOUGH for a get-together story. sometimes it really does read as more of a friends and partners who fuck than a real falling in love thing. Blargh. T__T)

But anyway. oh my, what a sincere request, and from such a dedicated fan!

I must be heartless. :/



edit: pffffffffft. same person, another review:

Why does Naruto say "Gaara" when he sees Kisame?

I must have been too subtle. >.>

Also, I think this is one of the only stories that I actually like Sakura in. She is very useless in the beginning of Naruto the show and annoying in the rest of it. But the way you have described, makes me like...

o i c.

I'm really trying not to make a snap judgment here, but honestly the first explanation that comes to mind is that she likes Sakura in this fic honest! just, still not enough to let her marry Sasuke.

:DDDDDDDDD *plots marriagefic* woohoo i'm so inspired suddenly~~~~~~~~~~~~ I need shiny sugary traditions for them to go through~~~~

You have received a reply from the author, Vathara, regarding the review you posted for: Title: Embers Chapter: 9
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/9/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/77482/
--------------------
*Evil Author Grin* Having indulged in more than a bit of squeeing over your stories myself, (*snip snip*)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE VATHARA READ MY STORIES

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE VATHARA LIKED MY STORIES

EEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeee.




oh god i'm a total fangirl. hello, new fancrush. (no, kidding. It's not new at all. XD)

(psst, if you like Zuko from Avatar, read Theft Absolute and Embers. She does things with the Avatar 'verse that ... well, end up changing quite a bit of the Avatar 'verse's background mythology, but in true Vathara fashion it ends up AWESOME, if quite deciedly Vathara-flavored. Tons of shinyshiny worldbuilding, and lovely OCs, and and and. Mmmh.)

From one of my reviews...

even though she already has a boyfriend, she tried to go out with Cloud.

... Wasn't her boyfriend gone and presumed dead for FIVE YEARS by then? D:

Zack and Aeris dated for a while when she was 16 and then he went poof -- it wasn't like they'd been married for twenty years. If you go by the original FF7 canon she even said something to the effect of "I liked him but it wasn't OMGlove." She could have been downplaying her pain -- or she could have been honest about her feelings.

But 1) it's not a crime to date someone you like a lot but turn out not to be in forever luv with, and
2) when the guy is dead for that long, even if you really loved him back then and a part of you always will~ ... It's perfectly normal and healthy to try to move on eventually, after your mourning is over, instead of obsessing. Just because she loved Zack doesn't mean she should go through life as a virgin clad in black floor-length dresses and a face-veil until she dies of old age. Argh.

Just be honest and say you don't like her because you ship a competing pairing and are insecure enough to feel threatened if you don't downplay her she manipulated manly man Cloud into wearing a dress complete with sexy lingerie or something. >__>



In other, totally unrelated news koff koff, there's a yuri FF7 ficlet posted on my insanejournal.

name removed
hey i love your art work it rocks!!!!
im not a huge fan of yaoi,yuri but i like hentai and i was wondering if you could do a hntai drawing for me?

me
Sorry, I don't draw on request. Glad you like my stuff though.

name removed
but if i got to know you better could you do a hentai drawing for me?????



... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Oh man, do I WANT to know you better. You charming charmer you.



AND WHILE I'M POSTING ABOUT DEVART...

( Have an art dump. u.u-b )

Subject: send me pics‏
From: (-edited out-)

can u please send me more narusasu pictures????i'm horny!!!



... This one doesn't even need a comment.

owait, I have one. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. D;


windandwater: GOOGLE YOU FOOL
♥

For book_people, Book_people asked for Teamworkverse, "How about something to do with Sakura and her cravings? In the middle of the night, preferably, just because I'm feeling evil."

About 650 words, silly. I hope you like it, lovely. ♥

(now umm about those Crossed Wire drabbles... Ummmmm. >_>;;;;;;;;;)

( Goddamn tomatoes. )

edit: Body of review from yaney follows:
hey when the fuck are you gonna write some good smut? you really suck and I hope you know that. dont bother replying in your authors notes cause im not gonna read this story ever again. DONT bother. you suck.

... LMAO. D'aww, I'm not making it my mission in life to help poor widdle horny-chan get off. Yeah, I suck, too bad it's not you. XD

Who the fuck reads Teamwork solely for the porn anyway? XDDDDD After three bazilion chapters and sidefics, and only, what, two full sex scenes, and a few dubious making out moments? You'd have to be retarded.

Part of a review for the cyborg fic:
I worship this story but Sasuke better end up on top.

It's someone pressing my buttons just to see me flip my lid, right? It totally is.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yeah.

It totally is.

It's working, too. *eyetwitch*

QUICK PEOPLE!! TO THE TL;DR AUTHORSNOTEMOBILE!~

( RAR. )

I swear if I get too much of these I'll just take off the cyborg fic off ffnet and only post it on LJ. ~__~

But yeah. They're not going to have intercourse for a good long while. Sasuke's not even used to handjobs, which is something every boy does the second they figure out their danglies like being petted. He needs to figure that out first. Then he needs to get used to the way the sensory input is different *all over* when you're wired for sexual pleasure. Which means lots of caresses. Probably grinding. Naruto needs to explain to him why kissing and necking is good, and needs to teach him about secondary erogenous zones, his and his partner's and the way to find them. Sasuke's not going to be anything but clumsy and wary for a long while -- they're most definitely NOT going to have intercourse easily! They'll probably keep to handjobs and blowjobs for a while -- and then only if Sasuke locks down his motor functions because breaking Naruto's neck with an unexpected, out of control thrust isn't really all that sexy and he would most definitely not control himself properly for weeks, perhaps even months.

Once he gets the hang of tab-A-slot-B, they'll *switch*. Because Naruto will want him to try it all, and because Sasuke will be bored as hell if there isn't an element of power struggle in their relationship.

STOP DRIVING ME AWAY FROM THE SASUNARU FANDOM, YOU "OOOH OF COURSE SASUKE-SAMA IS SO VIRILE" ASSWIPES.


... I feel better. Been way too long since my last explosion. XD;
*edits for more appropriate icon* :D ♥

And here I thought I was done with the adventures of Plagiarist-chan.

so... what has happened to your plan to point out my "gross hypocrisy
and plagiarism" on my friends forum? I suggest you study human anatomy,
since women do NOT have balls, although i wonder if it is mistaken since
you lack them.

ê_é Is it me or does this girl, like, NOT MAKE SENSE, and not only with her grammar. First she steals my M/M/F fic, then she doesn't even apologize before asking me to beta for her, and then when I tell her to either stop being a hypocrite and delete her "OMG EWW THAT GIRL IS BISEXUAL" comment or have me come to her forum and tell all her friends about everything she's done, she rolls over and obediently does it -- and now she's all smug because I didn't come and bitch her out after she had rolled over. IS THAT GIRL FROM MARS OR SOMETHING. D:

She's not even the good kind of RARR!annoying anymore. I like getting RARR!annoyed sometimes. It's fun. But her dragging it on and on is getting "yawn, where did I put my mosquito repellant" annoying, and that doesn't even make for an entertaining bitching session. Leave the dead horse paste alone already.

This is the last of the chronicles of Plagiarist-chan. She's just getting too boring. =__=

So there was this girl, who copypasted The Night's nc-17 version on ffnet and affixed it with the astoundingly witty summary "Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto go drinking at night, just for naruto to spike their drinks with viagra. What happens when three's company? Threesome the fun! Also... They went UNPROTECTED! R&R or no cookie 4 u!"

She pretended her classmate did it, I sent her an email with a sigh-y, "yeah right, just write your own stuff and I'll crit it for you, hopefully you'll improve or stop writing" tone. My plan was to be smiling, fair, and helpful, preferably until she choked on it.

Instead she deleted all of her stuff, changed her name, and disappeared. Okay. If you insist.

Until today, where I received a PM from a name I don't know. ("Fallen Uchiha Angel", except with creative punctuation. *rolleye*) The entirety of the email: "do you beta?"

And then I get an author alert for the same chick, who went ahead and posted her first chapter, and I realize that she didn't even change her profile and OH RIGHT so that's why I have her on alert! bleh.

... it's so utterly horrid I don't know where to start. It's mostly spelled fine, I can give her that much. But that's it. It's like a bad, childish fanfic summary of every characterisation I hate. It doesn't make any. ANY. sense. And it has ANs in the middle of the story, and weird paragraph breaks, and of course which fanfic would be complete without the author having a chat with her character. =____=;

Also, it's ItaSaku, and the way I hate the most, IE: "well Sasuke sucks, Itachi is better, I'm going to Akatsuki for no reason because Konoha sucks". THE INTARNETS ARE LAUGHING AT ME. T__T


So it looks like I have three choices.

-be polite, fair and helpful but it looks like I'll choke first,

-reply to her PM with "don't you mean 'Hello, how are you, I hope I'm not bothering you, I'm sorry I stole your story, would you mind taking a look at my story?'" and then see what to do from there -- only problem, if she apologizes then I'll feel forced to help her and it's visible that she has no earthly clue of how a good writer works or what IC and believable mean,

-IGNORE. But then I go back on my word.


...DILEMMA.

Opinions? ;_; (oh and if you happen to find her on ffnet, feel free to offer concrit, but stay polite please. I don't condone flaming. Besides it would be rather like shooting fish in a barrel. It's not sporting. XD)




edit: what do you people think of "That depends. Are you going to take the comments I make seriously, or are you going to play the "but my classmate wrote it so it's not my fault" card whenever I say something you didn't want to hear? Because I don't want to waste my time giving you concrit you're not planning to use." ?

Sometimes I really feel like each picture I post over at DA should be prefaced with a handy little FAQ.

-"I haaate (this pairing you're drawing)."
--> Good for you. Sorry, I seem to be all fresh out of cookies.

-"No, really, (this pairing you're drawing)'s shippers eat babies."
--> Yes. They are very nutritious.

-"Whee! I love (this pairing you're drawing)!"
--> Well, it's good to know that I could draw utter shit and still rake up fangirl points, I guess. :D

-"Whee! (this pairing you're drawing) is the best! I hate (interfering bitch) / (competing pairing) too!"
--> Your mind-reading radar must need some recalibrating. You're looking for bash-happy "my way or the highway" "One Fanon to Rule Them All" twat, three galleries on the left.

-"I am stupid and knew that I was going to be offended by this pic, and yet I clicked anyway, and now I am offended! What are you going to do about it, huh? Huh?"
--> Laugh at you. A lot. And then shake my head and go write some underage furry boyporn.

-"HOMG YOU PERVERT/PEDO/SICKO/FURRY."
--> :D~ aww so cute. *pinches your cheeks* (guess which ones.)



Not that I dislike "i love (this ship you're drawing)" one-liners so much, but it's just so... "er, yeah? Me too? I mean, I'm drawing about it. But, uh. What about the pic?" Seriously, I'm not going to yell at people for daring to share my tastes, and when it's someone who regularly comments, it's fine, but what am I supposed to answer to that? u.u;;