askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
It's not a bad explosion, as those things get. Blows the shit out of his hinges, and makes the decorative door panels shudder and fall out of alignment like a linebacker rammed them, but it's a foot that finishes the job of knocking the door down.

His gun is -- stupidly -- all the way downstairs in the gun safe by the door. It's out of reach the second the first man rushes through -- a huge wall of a man, square and meaty -- and then the second man comes in on his heels and Dave gives it up for lost.

Under him on the main floor Karkat starts snarling, steps forward to meet the threat, but there's a machine gun in the first man's hands and Dave can see nothing but the confettied mess it would make of his non-shelled face.

"Get out of here!" he yells, and shoves the half-open windowpane out of his way and swings himself out and onto the ancient straight ladder bolted to the outside wall.

Two men on the fire escape's last landing, just under him; he hears glass breaking. One of them looks up, gun up --

Aradia rushes through him with barely a thought; the gun jams, trigger frozen in time. Dave beats Olympic records of ladder-climbing.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Two sequels to By The Letter (of the law)

Anonymous said: Dorky Knights, a couple (two??) months later, trying to make out during some free time but their mounts won't leave them alone. Bad Crow.

The good thing about being a knight lawfully wedded to another knight is that he’s always got a partner. Especially because of the political angle to being a Dersite and a Prospitian, or a troll and a human — they get lots of peacekeeping assignments, not to the level of leading war parties but sort of pre-diplomacy. Diplomacy with teeth. Flattening the ground for the real diplomacy parties — and sometimes it turns out the problem can be resolved with a good talking-to, no need to bring in his hell-sister and turn everyone inside out.

Metaphorically speaking. Most of the time. But anyway.

Read more... )

Anonymous said: By the Letter (of the law), five years later

--

They don't really bother with court much. Karkat didn't enjoy Prospit's court already; Derse's makes him twice as happy that he's got disputes to slap down, speeches of friendship and country-wide news to deliver, and town-to-town enmities to mediate and scratch his ashen itch on. Even if he hated his current life he would hate it less than Derse's court.

The Empresses requested their presence, though, and he's good at hating things he's got to deal with anyways.

Case in point. "Dave I swear to all that is holy if you molest my gloves again I will slap you in the face with them."

"Huh."

"In a really not sexy way."

"Aw."

Karkat clears his throat and looks away from Dave's pouting lips. "You made us late enough with the boots, let's go already." He can still feel Dave's warm hands 'helping you tuck your pants in those stupid boots properly' all over his thighs.

He tucks Dave's arm in his and hauls him out of the door.

"Do you even like that kind of pain?" he grumbles -- quietly so the servants won't catch that they're discussing their sex life in public corridors once again.

"Face-slapping? Eh." Dave purses his lips. Karkat tears his eyes away. "I'd totally tolerate it if it made your clothes fall back off. They're so pretty, they'd probably make you look twice as good naked."

Karkat rolls his eyes, and vows to work twice as hard not to let on that the stupidly fancy court clothes Dave's brother sent them to wear are stiff and scratchy and ridiculously attention-grabbing, and make him miss his traveling leathers already. The lengths one will go to in order to please their matesprit, seriously.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Anonymous asked: Rose spade/diamond Eridan, the differences between troll and human Harry Potter.
--

"Well of fuckin' course troll JKR wasn't forced ta have Voldie be a fake sea dweller with magicked-on fins in the end, he was a fake who was aimin' higher than his station in life all along, this is the only readin' that makes any sense! If he were a real sea dweller then his motive for offin' the landdwellers makes zero fuckin' sense! An' his lack a any true class, are you even serious?"

"I find it remarkable that a single being should be so consistently and hugely self-blind," Rose mused, and bared her teeth in a pleasant (not) grin.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Ashen wedding! Eridan and Rose set up their extravagant ashen commitment ceremony to Karkat. Without Karkat. This is not the smoothest process in the world.

(link is not a real link. idk why sites always try to make it a real link. it is fakey mc fake.)
--

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] started trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

CA: tellin ya noww the links you sent me all suck an i refuse to spend a dime on any a them
CA: puttin that on the table wwhere wwe can both see it
TT: It sits on the table and stares back stonily, and then hops off and disappears where the overdone metaphors go off to die.
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
He's been listening to the intermittent clicketyclick for hours, he thinks, before it makes him think about maybe waking up all the way.

Doesn't want to, but the door opened some time ago (twelve minutes, thirty to fifty seconds) and he thinks there's someone else in the room? Maybe. Feels like someone's staring at him.

Maybe Karkat is hungry. Mmh. Maybe he could climb up on this (weird) bed and do his thing (mnuh dun wanna, but should) and then cuddle up and Dave wouldn't have to wake up all the way and it'd be so nice and good and warm.

"So," says a baritone voice, veiled and quiet.

The clicketyclick stops. (Keyboard? Hnm.) "What." (Oh, Karkat. Yeah. That's the noise. Keyboard and claws.)

The other voice is Bro of course, who else could it be when he's nice, safe and floaty (and not home.)

"How's the sex?"

Dave did not need his identity confirmed via choice of fucking topic. Oh no. Nope, ain't gonna wake up now. Nothing can make him.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
"Casualties?"

Dave shuffles his weight from knees to feet, straightens up. He tries not to move too fast; he's a bit dizzy. Blood loss, impacts with various hard surfaces, a severe case of emotional whiplash. His sister is at his back, a few feet away -- it's crazy how irrationally safe he feels -- so he keeps watching the rookies.

They're still dazed, but Grier doesn't need prompting to pull up a second wind barrier, just in case the demon on the other side of the street stops feeling like allowing them to chew the fat.

"Burnett's out, so is Crowbar. The rookies are mindfucked. Grier?"

"No injuries." Dave is pretty sure the man has a series of very nice, deep bruises, but he's not gonna feel them properly until later anyway, so they don't count. Dave agrees with this philosophy. Yep.

"And Karkat's got a -- at least adislocated wing and a probable concussion."

"Fuck you, my head's fine," Karkat mutters, which doesn't help; he sounds listless.

"You forgot someone, Dave," Rose says pointedly.

"... And lacerations on my arm." Which he needs to bandage the second he gets a minute, come to think of it, because it's not clotting fast enough and he's gonna get dizzy soon.

Anyway it was dislocated; it's not anymore. He'll whine about the swelling later. (What is it with his shoulders getting popped out all the friggin' time anyway, this is the second time since he summoned Karkat, it had better not become a thing.)

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
CHAPTER COMPLETE BOOYAH.

also huge. Like over 75 pages long in Word/30k words huge. I don't think it's gonna fit on LJ otherwise than in at least seven pieces, so... i'm gonna be lazy and just post a link, i think. :X

JN: Hi, John. )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For this kink meme prompt:
So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

Contains: trollstuck human characters, pale ephebophilia/age difference issues, Bro being juuuust a little creepy.

Also background Dave/Terezi/Karkat shenanigans. Because I could. >__>

ghastlyTrickster [GT] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG] )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Day 14.
--

You wake up, roll over, and there is some more bed to roll onto, nary a hard floor rising to smack your face after a tiny half-wriggle. A long, gorgeous stretch of (vaguely starchy) cool, empty sheets stretch under your hand, your heels.

You make a starfish. Just because you can.

You are a very smug starfish. You don't even care you're a lopsided one.

Also your brain is half-awake and stupid from going to bed at three AM but fuck that. You spend another ten minutes staring at the ceiling, a dopey and uncool smile spreading on your face without your permission and who cares, nobody will see.

Your stomach is starting to whimper about being empty, though, and your bladder is throwing a bitchfit about being too full. With a sigh, you get up, wobble to the cramped sink-shower-toilet Rubik's Cube closet that pretends to be a bathroom. Can't turn around without smacking your elbow on shit; feels just like home.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
950 words.

--

Meulin told her Light and Seer, when Rose always thought herself Mind or perhaps Doom. (Seer, she has less of a strong opinion about. Not active at all, but the thirst for knowledge fits near perfectly.) Meulin said with Dirk's voice, and laughed too high and too loud, and does Rose trust her?

Not very much. Enough to risk this.

They're used to seeing her coming and going, the neighbors, and none of them remember that today, at this hour, none of her family will be here. (Especially not Dave. Especially not him.) None of the neighbors really care in this neighborhood, anyway.

She doesn't even step inside the Striders' apartment anyway. Cal is on the steps leading up to the roof; she arches a querying eyebrow at him and picks him up, carries him on her shoulder to the roof.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Post-game 'verse, troll!kids.

--

She wakes cradled in a womb.

It is dark in here, and wet warmth cocoons her, steals all gravity; she floats.

Her first thought is, well fuck. Growing up all over again is going to be so tedious.

She's read so many short stories with this exact premise -- reincarnation, and the slow erasure of the old self into the immaturity of synapses, unfinished neural pathways, preferable maybe to the madness one might succumb to after years of being trapped in a body that cannot move and fight and even focus its eyes on things farther than its own hands, that cannot communicate or be communicated with. She finds it so vexing; she kicks, swift as the thick liquid around her will allow it.

Bonk.

Ow.

This was not a flesh wall.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
This chapter contains sex. Also some ponderings about dub/noncon.

--

At least Karkat has gone back to resting his chin on Dave's knee, in the week between their blow-up and Kankri's summoning. At least there's that.

There's a strange cautiousness to it now, though. Karkat will come sprawl on the couch against him, and nap on the futon, but there's -- he keeps watching Dave.

Dave tries not to notice. He often fails.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
This chapter contains sex. Also some ponderings about dub/noncon.

--

At least Karkat has gone back to resting his chin on Dave's knee, in the week between their blow-up and Kankri's summoning. At least there's that.

There's a strange cautiousness to it now, though. Karkat will come sprawl on the couch against him, and nap on the futon, but there's -- he keeps watching Dave.

Dave tries not to notice. He often fails.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Kankri's summoning is a lot less dramatic than Karkat's. Makes sense: Kankri is right here, and Karkat was ensconced somewhere in the farthest reaches of the demon realm. Kankri's summoning benefits from his own advice on the phase of the moon (waning, thanks ever so much for making everyone get up at three fucking AM, a time Dave had never seen from that end of the night) and other such ceremonial fiddly details; Karkat's was done pretty much blind.

Kankri wants to come; Karkat didn't.

They scream just as loud as each other.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Warning: dubcon.

--

"You're bleeding" is the first thing Karkat says to Jade of his own volition, and it sounds a bit like an accusation.

Dave's partner pauses in the middle of pulling herself out of the backseat. (Karkat is too used to his hidey hole beside Dave to change spots without a fight, and he's been tense around Jade enough as it is.) Dave leans in to frown at her.

"You manage to hurt yourself before we even get on scene, Harley? Are you going after Egbert's crown of oopses or what?"

Jade is looking puzzled, mostly. She pulls herself out of the car and blinks down at Dave's demon. "What are you talking about?" she asks, or starts to ask.

Then she notices where Karkat is staring at about the same time Dave does.

"Oh shit, not today!" Jade groans. Dave turns away, not at all hurriedly. Who was looking at his partner's cooch here? Surely not a gentleman like Dave Lalonde Strider.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
POLICE DETECTIVE CONSORTING WITH DEMONS IN THE FLESH!


"Jade wasn't kidding about the headline, wow," Dave says as he drops the newspaper on the passenger's seat. "PR is going to bitch forever about it."

"I don't see why," grunts the lump under the bed sheet in the passenger's side foot well. "The only thing wrong about it is that they imply I'd ever share you."

Dave snorts. That'd almost sound romantic, if you amputated the whole 'life support/food source' context first. The light turns green; he starts the car again, and Karkat makes a displeased clicking noise; after a few seconds, the newspaper disappears under the sheet. Paper rustles.

"Believe me, they're still going to shit bricks. What's the article say? Read it to me, bud."

Dave knows Karkat is annoyed about it, because he says "Yes, Master," snidely before he does. "If I had told the readership a week ago that the police of this city would summon and bind a corporeal demon, I doubt any of you would have believed me. Yet, here I am, claiming that the Detective-Summoner David L. Strider has done just that. You weren't even alone and the Seer and the Witch did most of the job, what the fuck."

"Wow, how about you switch your voice a little when you read and when you editorialize, so I can tell 'em apart. It's weird as hell otherwise."

"Denied. You told me to read it to you, you didn't tell me not to add shit in."

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
The first coherent thought Dave has upon waking up is fuck yeah three days' leave, so he goes straight back to sleep.

The second coherent thought he has, about a hour later, is shit want to pee don't want to brave the ladder dilemma.

The third is old soda bottle in the corner? And the fourth is Rose will know somehow, I'll never live it down.

At any rate, he is awake. He cracks open his eyes, gazes at the slanted ceiling, stretches his legs. Shit yeah futon. Missed you, buddy. His back hardly hurts today.

Of course he kind of hurts everywhere else. But it's a low-grade, stealthy kind of soreness. He figures so long as he doesn't move an inch it'll have no reason to get worse. Maybe he can get Karkat to fetch stuff for him.

Something is breathing nearby.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Captain Egbert and Arne Revere, the City Attorney, are already here, and so is Rose; Dave leans in to shake hands and drags a chair out for himself, and then John bursts in last.

"Very good," Captain Egbert says. "Close the door, Detective."

It always amuses Dave that half the time Egbert Senior's detectives are "son" but his actual son never, lest someone accuse him of favoritism. Then again it's already pretty iffy that he has his son under his direct command, it's only because John's a summoner and they only have one division for them that it's even allowed.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
pr0ns again!
---------

He has a headache when he wakes, which doesn't presage many good things for today. There's a few forks back on the floor, but half-heartedly. He eyes them from the couch and doesn't move. It's... Nine past nine and nine seconds, Aradia informs him. Okay, he's pretty sure she woke him up. She likes patterned numbers like that.

He bends at the waist, rummages under the couch, finds a candle in the offering box. There's a little shelf over the armrest where he put his head, usually for the TV remote. He puts the candle on it, looking at it upside-down. She's not asking him to do that, he's just refusing to sit up for real.

I don't mind, she tells him, soothing and amused. Time flows the same way upside-down!Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
PREPARE TO BE SPAMMED. i suck and didn't update the fic here, but i've kept on writing it and it's going pretty fast so far, so now i have about six parts to post. .____.

--

Inside the precinct there's a lot of sudden silence and staring when Dave comes down the stairs with Karkat in tow. The demon likes moving better on all fours, back legs folding and twitch-unfolding like a grasshopper's, and its claws clink loud on floor tiles.

"It's bound, seriously, guys, relax," he throws out there, and makes his way between partitioned desks, hands in his pockets. Karkat lets out a vibrating, crickety crackle-growl that manages both to be quiet and to carry to the ends of the room in a particularly hair-raising way.

"Maybe you could tell it not to freak out the officers," Jane whispers in his ear.

She's kidding, right? It's hilarious. "Nah, they need to steel their nerves." Out there there's loose Class Ones and Twos, bunches of criminals and lowlifes using the distraction of a demon apocalypse in progress to do their criminal thing, and criminals just plain going "hey why not" and using demons as anti-personnel weapons. There's a Don who reportedly has a Class Three at his beck and call, and it only charges a weekly street kid dinner to stay on retainer. "They'll thank us tomorrow."

Jane sighs. "I guess. At least Karkat is a vertebrate and doesn't make you feel like your eyes are about to pop like balloons trying to figure out its geometry."

Dave nods his commiseration. "Fucking six-dimensional demons, huh."

"Fucking human black hole brains," Karkat growls from down there. Dave snorts and holds the door to Captain Egbert's office open for it. It makes sure to walk close enough to rake its shoulder and wing spines nice and deep along the wood. Little brat.
Read more... )

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