askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Anonymous asked: Kanaya/Byrd, pleasantly buzzed and/or festive, on Hellmurder island.

(this is Crash Standing-verse but idk if it's canon for the verse or not.)

960 words.

--

"Byrd," she says with even more careful enunciation than usual, and that's how you know she's kind of drunk. "I do not wish to impugn on your transcendental broship with John."

She looks all challenging yet dignified, like she said something especially noble or important. You nod patiently, and pat the wooden log you're sitting on, your beer bottle trapped between your knees. Mighty useful as grabbing limbs, those knees, you'd never have found out without losing your hand and she would have tripped and gone down from you not being free to catch her and help her down.

That or she would have gotten a boobful of beer. You're not sure which would be considered worse.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
In Which Byrd Sprite Strider Chats in Logs, Fulfills Some Shipping Charts, and Discovers the Joys of Twincest (Not Really.) Not Suitable to Trolls of Seven Sweeps of Under for a Somewhat Libertine Approach to Feelings Jams.

--

TA: yeah your human poliice and mediiterrorii2t2 have them iin 2ome buiildiing2. but the healthy one2 are 2uppo2ed to be relea2ed 2oonii2h.
TA: 2orry ii can't explaiin iit better, your legale2e ii2 even more annoyiing than our2.
TA: ii feel 2o fuckiing 2tupiid not beiing able to par2e that 2hiit, god. iit'2 not even liike iit'2 anythiing compliicated!!
GT: Shoosh shoosh my good man! Your brain is still stupendous amounts of brilliant even at its most rambunctious!
GT: Why if being unable to parse these makes you a fool then what am i right? Haha.
TG: you shooshin him now wow what does aradia think of this
TA: thiink2 iit2 fuckiing hiilariiou2 that of all thiing2 to piick up from her he cho2e that one of fuckiing cour2e. ii mean iit2 AA, what el2e?
GT: Why what is wrong with wishing to soothe my good pal sollux in the quaint and friendly manner of his people???
TG: nothing buddy
TG: yeah absolutely nothing
TG: mentioning this for no reason at all but its amazing how you can really feel karkats absence in this chatroom somehow
Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For a too-long moment you're struck completely dumb. You kneel there like a tool with a cat on your shoulder and a cat on your head as gunshots keep cracking on the deck above.

Running steps, several, heavy, and you can't really tell but you can tell anyway, they're not any of yours.

Steps on the stairs. You throw yourself back into the laundry room, your hand up to keep Gcat from falling. He slips anyway to become your new kitty hat, his paws on your shades knocking them askew and those are automatic guns outside so you captchalogue them, hat-cat and ear-warmer-cat both. (You tag them FELINE OVERLORDS for sylladex indexing purposes.) You just, nowhere fuckin' else to put them and ooooh fuck, where are you supposed to hide in here, the light's still on. You slap it off but the corridor still has little lights on so you can't come out, and then you hear them, one person, two.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
complexquanta asked: Davesprite ♥ Jade. Get zapped by random ectobiology machines in the basement of the meteor and species swapped (Davesprite's a dog-man, Jade's a bird sprite). Then they make out.

Contains flustery porn of the nonpenetrative variety, light femdom, Jade POV, 1400 words.

--

"Well, crap," Jade says, and she whaps Dave with her sprite tail when he sporfles at how mild it came out.

He's sitting on the floor with both hands pressed to his face and she can see his eyes; only not, because they're squeezed shut in either shock or hilarity, or maybe both? Jade herself is still too baffled to really be in shock yet, and...

She vaguely remembers what it was like to be a sprite, in a corner of her mind she doesn't like to think about. It's strange in a very existential way that's pretty much impossible to describe.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
-- truncatedGrip [TG] has returned from idle! --

AA: haha didnt you just fall asleep five hours ago?? at least if i interpret the sudden idleness right
TG: i did
TG: i so fucking did
AA: i thought vacations were for "sleeping and fucking timezones up the left nostril with all the force of your time swag until theyre flipping like a breakfast paste disk and dont know what the fuck"
TG: you have learned well padawan
TG: my asshole man lusus stays an ignoramus completely willingly

"Byrd, two minutes!"

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
princessofblood asked: Jadekat AU for your crash standing verse?

(crash standing is all about making davesprite happy! such a cruel prompt XD)

900 words of pesterlog.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Day 14.
--

You wake up, roll over, and there is some more bed to roll onto, nary a hard floor rising to smack your face after a tiny half-wriggle. A long, gorgeous stretch of (vaguely starchy) cool, empty sheets stretch under your hand, your heels.

You make a starfish. Just because you can.

You are a very smug starfish. You don't even care you're a lopsided one.

Also your brain is half-awake and stupid from going to bed at three AM but fuck that. You spend another ten minutes staring at the ceiling, a dopey and uncool smile spreading on your face without your permission and who cares, nobody will see.

Your stomach is starting to whimper about being empty, though, and your bladder is throwing a bitchfit about being too full. With a sigh, you get up, wobble to the cramped sink-shower-toilet Rubik's Cube closet that pretends to be a bathroom. Can't turn around without smacking your elbow on shit; feels just like home.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
(evening of day thirteen)
--

You don't even need Bro's fingers flicking behind his hip as a signal; you can hear steps over your head, going straight for the staircase. The trolls went to look for bedrooms and of fucking course now it's the worst possible time they're coming back. You're rolling off the couch like a panther dropping off its branch onto some tasty prey in a second, and then you're flashstepping across the ridiculously luxurious whisky tasting lounge or whatever rich people call their living rooms, faster than you've managed since you became a sprite, fast enough to be invisible.

Bonk.

"What was that noise?" the lady cop -- there's a lady cop and a dudebro cop -- inquires. You rub at your smarting shoulder and scramble up on your feet in the safety of the curling staircase. Fuck braking, that's what stumps are for. Ow.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
.___. CHECK PREVIOUS POST I DID NOT POST IT TO DW/LJ BEFORE WHOOPS.

--

“Crash Standing, Or, An Account Of The Post-Game Life of One Byrd Sprite Strider, Aged Sixteen” Presents:
a Succint Yet Accurate Summary in the Form of Haiku:
LO, THERE IT COMES BACK
INAPPROPRIATE BONER
FUCKHELL NOT AGAIN

--

Chapter 9


Flying by plane is just about the most boring thing you have ever experienced in your life, and considering you once spent three years of your life stuck on a ship surrounded by void, some more void on top, and a little more void in both front and back, that's saying something.

Granted, the ship was large. Granted, it was well-populated. Granted, your then-girlfriend could pop planets out of her pockets and send you a-questing whenever you got bored of the corridors.

It was still three years. Right now you've been on the plane four hours and you feel like you've entered Battleship: Year Four.

Your other self is the Dude of Time; you know from time shit. Someone is definitely messing the hell out of this flow. Goddamn US Airways.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
whoops i never posted that one there. SORRY D:

--
Chapter 8: Day thirteen

"Fuck's sake. Just go away, okay, I'll do it faster on my own."

For a second you're tempted to pick up the laptop you just dropped on the floor and throw it at Dave's head. Fuck him. It's not your fucking fault you were ... trying to move heavy, fragile technology one-handed. Okay, yes it is. But fuck him anyway. He's been a grumpy little shit ever since Bro woke you all up and you started gathering the crap not already boxed.

With the way he's not looking at Terezi, who's dismantling the sleeping pile into garbage chute-sized chunks in the corner, you can guess who he'd really like to be arguing with. You watch him pick up the laptop and check the case for damages, put it away in a box barely more gently than when you dropped it. Fuck him, it's your laptop, Bro got it for you.

"What?" he asks you, scowling. You turn away and walk out before any fists can be exchanged.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Background pairings are still Gamzee♦Karkat, Terezi♣Gamzee and Dave♥Terezi.

Any Dave♦Rose or Byrd♦John exist solely in Karkat’s fevered imagination okay.

--


Chapter 7: Day twelve, evening

It is party time tonight at Casa de Strider, by which you mean on the roof which technically is not part of the apartment but fuck that noise.

It's also only a party if you consider a bunch of people sitting or standing around making small talk in between yawns a party. Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Chapter 6: day eleven, second attempt

There are a lot of existential questions you get to ponder, being the divine-computer-generated split-timelined double of some guy who was (the double, not the guy) merged with a crow and a katana and an alien Gamebro FAQ database while that other guy went on to become a god. Such as:

Why are you standing in a parking lot.

Why are you in a parking lot at the mall.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Okay, now that they’re out anyway: side pairings : Dave<3Terezi, Gamzee<>Karkat and Gamzee<3<Terezi.

----

You wake up because there's someone staring at you and also you can't breathe.

If the staring you awake thing happens three times in a row you swear you will flip a nun ass over rosary. For now you just force your eyes open into the gloomy room and try to figure out who left an elephant parked over your ribs.

Pat. Pat.

You recognize that (supple, smooth, bare) thigh. Okay, how the fuck did Karkat end up face up and ass across your stomach, his legs have to be dangling over the edge of the bed and considering where the wall is his neck is probably made of origami, this is ridiculous.

He's still breathing all soft and sleepingly, though, so you keep squinting.

Huh, there's a gargoyle perched on your footboard.

Where the fuck is your sword. Sword now. You need your fucking sword oh hey antelope horns and Cthulhu hair.

Wonder who that could be!

Nope, still feels like your need your goddamn sword.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Chapters 1 to 3 : between 8 and 11 pages.
Chapter makeouts: 18.
:/ :/ :/

--

Somehow you and Karkat end up spending the afternoon molding perfect hollows in the shape of your respective asses into the couch cushions.

The shitty daytime soaps weren't going to watch themselves.

You've been watching them because they're hilarious. Karkat's been watching them "for research purposes," he said, and then spent the next three episodes wringing his imaginary handkerchief over the fate of Jose and Angelita's not-so-evil twin (wasn't that one a twist.)Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Chapter 3: day ten

You wake to a thumping noise, Dave going ow.

You don't want to be awake, you're warm and nice and cuddlysafe, but this sounds just too suspicious. Your eyes crack open.

Bro's face is about ten inches away from your own.

"--Ghhk."

He stares. You stare back. You hate how you don't sleep in your shades, even though sleeping in shades is stupid and a great way to get them broken and anyway iShades need to recharge too. He can see your naked face, which is even more embarrassing than if you were actually naked.

Well, fuck. Looks like he's not going to take no for an answer today.

He tilts his head a little. You cringe, brace yourself.

"Cute."

... The fuck?

You blink. Your hand twitches to grab the covers and pull them up, on pure reflex, and oh hey you're stuck. You look down.

You seem to have sprouted a growth in the form of a troll.Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Still Davesprite/Karkat, still post-game, still dealing with too many Striders in one small apartment, still a sequel to awake at night & assorted ficlets.

Chapter 1: Day eight

--
Chapter 2: day nine

-- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering truncatedGrip [TG] --

EB: hey, pigeon face. :D
TG: hey miss beaver
EB: how's the life of cleaning lady treating you, buddy?
TG: fuck you very much my feather duster is the best in three states i will fight you
EB: pfffff WORK THOSE HIPS, STRIDER.
TG: whoa there stallion
TG: are you trying to take my rp virginity can we keep to one scenario
TG: like am i carmencita the cleaning lady your wife hired or am i one of those french can can dancers or what

EB: you're a maid that i'm paying a little extra to clean in costume. hubba hubba.
TG: okay i can work with that
TG: who wouldnt want to polish the family jewels while in a thong and ostrich feathers for a little over minimum wages honestly

EB: i wonder!
EB: anyway dad just called from the road and i was supposed to tell you guys they'll be there in one hour barring accidents or traffic clusterfucks and whatnot.
EB: better hope you're ready for inspection!

TG: i am always ready for inspection senor she says while bending over like she bought her spine on clearance at ikea
TG: was that a cracking noise you might wonder no just threw my back a little but that way im already bent over for you senor

EB: that's hot. :X
EB: /he says while presenting her with the *eyebrow waggle* family heirloom sword.

TG: dude you suck at rping carmencitas head is like down to her knees its totes unrealistic that guys dong would be that long
TG: unless youre playing a strider i guess
TG: i have all the canon details at hand to smooth the way of your epic literary rp john you only have to ask

EB: ... are we going to gay chicken ourselves into cybering a full scene again.
EB: i wouldn't care but i'm kind of sitting right beside my dad's even more coddling clone.
Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
The Family You Choose ‘verse (fourth in the series, first being Awake at Night — click the tag). The first three dealt with culture clashes, and Dad Egbert adopting Karkat and Gamzee. This one is Davesprite-centric.

Post-Sburb on Earth, guardians are alive again, Dirk and Roxy get to live in the same time period as the other humans, all trolls who survived are being hosted by humans.

Pairing: Davesprite/Karkat, background Dave/Terezi and others.

It’s been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

Once upon a time she got your best bro killed and your Jade died as a result and you had to leave your Rose behind to wait alone in a doomed timeline for a horrible end to catch up. It's been weird sharing an apartment with her post-Game, but then again everything's been weird. )</a

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