askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
"Is that a house, or a castle?"

Dave snorts as he gets out of the car. "Castles are prettier. This is a pile of giant cement pizza boxes, dude." The pile isn't even straight and even, there are corners sticking our everywhere.

Dirk doesn't crack a smile or even indicate that he heard as he extracts himself from the passenger's seat, even though he was the one who first made that comparison, ten or fifteen years ago. He's been monosyllabic ever since they picked him up for mandatory Strilonde Bonding Time on pain of Aunt Romy.

Crouched beside Dave on the driveway, Karkat is still staring up doubtfully.

"Besides," Dave continues, "it's not that big, just kinda sprawly."

"There's a tower."

"It's an observatory!" Roxy calls out from the other side of the bridge, and waves. Dave vaguely wonders how she heard them so well, with the little running stream between them and the waterfall just behind the corner where she's standing, but he sticks his hands in his pockets and follows Dirk.

"Oh, an observatory!" Karkat replies, sarcastic, as he makes his cautious way across. "Whew. Totally different! Especially the pompous levels."

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

*eyes fic*

... Eh, I've written pornier.

I'm sure. Somewhere.

novidactyl asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair♥) 2.Flush 3.Pornstar AU w/ smuppets for Bro's website (humanstuck or normal species are both fantastic)
--

"And really, in the digital age, with shit like tumblr and reddit around, what's going to touch the most people, boring long-ass sermons, or streaming free porn clips that fuck with hemocastist expectations and contain gleeful and unapologetic quadrant-smearing?"

On the other side of his bed, unzipping his pants, Signless laughed quietly. "Bro, I've already agreed to film this movie with you."

Bro shrugged, nodded, kept ogling. The guy's pants would be hilarious if he didn't fill them so well. Bro was also a fan of the zipper being placed on the side, from under the arm to the hip; the way it unveiled him as the cloth fell away was especially interesting.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For a too-long moment you're struck completely dumb. You kneel there like a tool with a cat on your shoulder and a cat on your head as gunshots keep cracking on the deck above.

Running steps, several, heavy, and you can't really tell but you can tell anyway, they're not any of yours.

Steps on the stairs. You throw yourself back into the laundry room, your hand up to keep Gcat from falling. He slips anyway to become your new kitty hat, his paws on your shades knocking them askew and those are automatic guns outside so you captchalogue them, hat-cat and ear-warmer-cat both. (You tag them FELINE OVERLORDS for sylladex indexing purposes.) You just, nowhere fuckin' else to put them and ooooh fuck, where are you supposed to hide in here, the light's still on. You slap it off but the corridor still has little lights on so you can't come out, and then you hear them, one person, two.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (HS_Karprettyred)
Anonymous asked: BT guys shower gangbang fantasy/embarassing wet dream?

(yay for fishing old prompts out of the abyss! weirdass floaty dream ahoy. contain vague dream porn, stealth angst and dreamy creepiness. also probably happens either during the first half of chapter 7 or before chpt7 entirely.)

--

He's walking at a fast pace in the weird alien corridors of this weird alien hive (not running, the labs will get him if he runs), turning left and right and left. He's alone, it's weird, he should find John (he should enjoy being alone but being alone here isn't safe, the labs will get him). He doesn't know where John is though, but yes, he knows, John is where John always goes.

Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
For this kink meme prompt:
So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

Contains: trollstuck human characters, pale ephebophilia/age difference issues, Bro being juuuust a little creepy.

Also background Dave/Terezi/Karkat shenanigans. Because I could. >__>

ghastlyTrickster [GT] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG] )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Day 14.
--

You wake up, roll over, and there is some more bed to roll onto, nary a hard floor rising to smack your face after a tiny half-wriggle. A long, gorgeous stretch of (vaguely starchy) cool, empty sheets stretch under your hand, your heels.

You make a starfish. Just because you can.

You are a very smug starfish. You don't even care you're a lopsided one.

Also your brain is half-awake and stupid from going to bed at three AM but fuck that. You spend another ten minutes staring at the ceiling, a dopey and uncool smile spreading on your face without your permission and who cares, nobody will see.

Your stomach is starting to whimper about being empty, though, and your bladder is throwing a bitchfit about being too full. With a sigh, you get up, wobble to the cramped sink-shower-toilet Rubik's Cube closet that pretends to be a bathroom. Can't turn around without smacking your elbow on shit; feels just like home.Read more... )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
Done spamming for today. Phew.
--

Petstuck, once again for the kink meme though there's no sex at all in it. Petstuck AU, which means trolls are sentient-ish animals. This is not a fic about adressing everything that is wrong with owning sentient beings and activism to save their asses, those have been written already. It’s early days in troll ownership yet and not a lot is known about them.

Jade accidentally adopts a young, orphaned troll, much against the wishes of her long-suffering boyfriend. Horrible cuteness ensues.

'Bec,' Jade asks very patiently, like the totally understanding dog lady she is, 'why is there a baby troll riding you like a pony?' )
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
whoops i never posted that one there. SORRY D:

--
Chapter 8: Day thirteen

"Fuck's sake. Just go away, okay, I'll do it faster on my own."

For a second you're tempted to pick up the laptop you just dropped on the floor and throw it at Dave's head. Fuck him. It's not your fucking fault you were ... trying to move heavy, fragile technology one-handed. Okay, yes it is. But fuck him anyway. He's been a grumpy little shit ever since Bro woke you all up and you started gathering the crap not already boxed.

With the way he's not looking at Terezi, who's dismantling the sleeping pile into garbage chute-sized chunks in the corner, you can guess who he'd really like to be arguing with. You watch him pick up the laptop and check the case for damages, put it away in a box barely more gently than when you dropped it. Fuck him, it's your laptop, Bro got it for you.

"What?" he asks you, scowling. You turn away and walk out before any fists can be exchanged.

Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Background pairings are still Gamzee♦Karkat, Terezi♣Gamzee and Dave♥Terezi.

Any Dave♦Rose or Byrd♦John exist solely in Karkat’s fevered imagination okay.

--


Chapter 7: Day twelve, evening

It is party time tonight at Casa de Strider, by which you mean on the roof which technically is not part of the apartment but fuck that noise.

It's also only a party if you consider a bunch of people sitting or standing around making small talk in between yawns a party. Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Chapter 6: day eleven, second attempt

There are a lot of existential questions you get to ponder, being the divine-computer-generated split-timelined double of some guy who was (the double, not the guy) merged with a crow and a katana and an alien Gamebro FAQ database while that other guy went on to become a god. Such as:

Why are you standing in a parking lot.

Why are you in a parking lot at the mall.Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Chapter 3: day ten

You wake to a thumping noise, Dave going ow.

You don't want to be awake, you're warm and nice and cuddlysafe, but this sounds just too suspicious. Your eyes crack open.

Bro's face is about ten inches away from your own.

"--Ghhk."

He stares. You stare back. You hate how you don't sleep in your shades, even though sleeping in shades is stupid and a great way to get them broken and anyway iShades need to recharge too. He can see your naked face, which is even more embarrassing than if you were actually naked.

Well, fuck. Looks like he's not going to take no for an answer today.

He tilts his head a little. You cringe, brace yourself.

"Cute."

... The fuck?

You blink. Your hand twitches to grab the covers and pull them up, on pure reflex, and oh hey you're stuck. You look down.

You seem to have sprouted a growth in the form of a troll.Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
Still Davesprite/Karkat, still post-game, still dealing with too many Striders in one small apartment, still a sequel to awake at night & assorted ficlets.

Chapter 1: Day eight

--
Chapter 2: day nine

-- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering truncatedGrip [TG] --

EB: hey, pigeon face. :D
TG: hey miss beaver
EB: how's the life of cleaning lady treating you, buddy?
TG: fuck you very much my feather duster is the best in three states i will fight you
EB: pfffff WORK THOSE HIPS, STRIDER.
TG: whoa there stallion
TG: are you trying to take my rp virginity can we keep to one scenario
TG: like am i carmencita the cleaning lady your wife hired or am i one of those french can can dancers or what

EB: you're a maid that i'm paying a little extra to clean in costume. hubba hubba.
TG: okay i can work with that
TG: who wouldnt want to polish the family jewels while in a thong and ostrich feathers for a little over minimum wages honestly

EB: i wonder!
EB: anyway dad just called from the road and i was supposed to tell you guys they'll be there in one hour barring accidents or traffic clusterfucks and whatnot.
EB: better hope you're ready for inspection!

TG: i am always ready for inspection senor she says while bending over like she bought her spine on clearance at ikea
TG: was that a cracking noise you might wonder no just threw my back a little but that way im already bent over for you senor

EB: that's hot. :X
EB: /he says while presenting her with the *eyebrow waggle* family heirloom sword.

TG: dude you suck at rping carmencitas head is like down to her knees its totes unrealistic that guys dong would be that long
TG: unless youre playing a strider i guess
TG: i have all the canon details at hand to smooth the way of your epic literary rp john you only have to ask

EB: ... are we going to gay chicken ourselves into cybering a full scene again.
EB: i wouldn't care but i'm kind of sitting right beside my dad's even more coddling clone.
Read more... )
askerian: (HS_davekat_kismesexy)
The Family You Choose ‘verse (fourth in the series, first being Awake at Night — click the tag). The first three dealt with culture clashes, and Dad Egbert adopting Karkat and Gamzee. This one is Davesprite-centric.

Post-Sburb on Earth, guardians are alive again, Dirk and Roxy get to live in the same time period as the other humans, all trolls who survived are being hosted by humans.

Pairing: Davesprite/Karkat, background Dave/Terezi and others.

It’s been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

Once upon a time she got your best bro killed and your Jade died as a result and you had to leave your Rose behind to wait alone in a doomed timeline for a horrible end to catch up. It's been weird sharing an apartment with her post-Game, but then again everything's been weird. )</a
askerian: Serious Karkat in a red long-sleeved shirt (Default)
I started writing BT proper, and then Dirk and Dave’s Bro started being all “hey I’m talking to you” and I was like “okay sure I’ll do a drabble quicklike” and BAM six pages of prequel-fic.

3 000 words of Mr. Strider meeting his clonebabies for the first time. Also features Doc Lalonde.

Or: In Which The Characters Prove Exactly Why They Shouldn’t Have Kids Ever, But They Have Them Anyway And It’d Be A Pain To Return Them Now So Hey Why Not.

'They're not going to bite, you know,' Romy drawled without even turning to look at him, as she forced a sausage-like Harleybertian leg in a leg-hole. She was smirking, though, he could tell from her voice. 'Or projectile venom. Hell, even vomit wouldn't get that far.' )

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